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for Mobile Suit Gundam : Friendship is Magic

9/9/2017 c1 Guest
I read the summary, and came here fully believing and knowing this would suck.

And what do you do? You surprise me with a lengthy, detailed chapter, that is surprisingly well-written for a newbie!
Although, your prepositions and word-casing still need some work, (Names, Gjallerhorn included, are ALWAYS upper-case)
Also, don't use abbreviations like or & in speech or text. It's annoying, and shows you haven't read and/or written much (read: enough). The only place where abbreviations can be used is when showing us what another character has written, in one way or form (like text messages or letters), as opposed to having another character reading it out.

Also also, when crossing franchises over, it's better to use the original cast, as opposed to making a complete new one, as some readers might find it over-whelming to be introduced to not only a new universe, but a bunch of new people as well.
But that's just me being... considerative of others, so you don't HAVE to do it, but CAN.

Also also also, props if you read the whole thing!

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