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for Risen

5/31/2018 c1 6Shirokokuro
Long review incoming...

For one thing, I love that you mention the last thing Sakura sees! There's just a nameless person killed next to her, bleeding to death, and that was it. It gives off the impression that she's just another soldier dying on the battlefield. She wants to do more, we all know it, but in the end, she can't think of anything profound, simply witnessing things crumble around her. So sad!

"[Sakura] was dead and no one was telling him otherwise." This is such a good line! Honestly, it gets across so much emotion it's practically tangible. The hurt, the desire for it not to be true, all expressed in one sentence. Gosh. Good stuff.

And then how Naruto is wondering why the world isn't turning monochrome and swallowing him whole just...gah. That was super well-done. It'd be so tempting to just rephrase what you described with Kakashi, but I love how you changed it up with Naruto and didn't say anything outright. It made it feel really powerful.

And speaking of Kakashi, poor guy! He feels like such a failure that he can't even show up to the funeral! ;m;

Super good chapter! I know it's been awhile-and I can't lie to myself and say I don't get writers block sometimes (...all the time)-but I really hope you manage to finish this! You've got such good ideas! I'd love to see more of them! :)

(P.S. Naruto's little "believe it" just about killed me. Oh my gosh xD)
1/27/2018 c1 1MoonlitStarShine
Why won't you complete this? If it's two-shot, then it shouldn't take you this long for you to update the next chapter. I would like to read this to the end.
1/6/2018 c1 blackbringer
Please finish this, I would like to see how the boys handle Sakura coming back during the war.
9/7/2017 c1 JeanyDeiXzz
This is the first time in 8 years that I read that Sakura dies. Does that final sentence implie that Sasuke never left?

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