for A Day with Grandpa7/8/2018 c1 M3G4N5H059
I loved this story! Back on July 2nd of this year I got a Careful Natured Shiny male Bulbasaur in my brand new file on Pokemon Leaf Green Version after only 1 soft reset! I had just turned on my game! I picked a Bulbasaur. His nickname is Hiroto. Yay! I'm so happy! My Trainer's ID NO is 44446.
I loved this story! Back on July 2nd of this year I got a Careful Natured Shiny male Bulbasaur in my brand new file on Pokemon Leaf Green Version after only 1 soft reset! I had just turned on my game! I picked a Bulbasaur. His nickname is Hiroto. Yay! I'm so happy! My Trainer's ID NO is 44446.
5/20/2018 c1 
48reppad98
Hm, this was a well written story. Your writing style has really improved compared to some of your earlier stories I've read, very well done! The dynamics between the family were enjoyable to read and there were some funny moments, like [Why did his parents have to have another child?], that made me chuckle. The personalities of the siblings were also different enough to get a feel for each of them in such a short story. I suppose that would be my tip for this story, to give it a bit more of a plot. The title is 'A Day with Grandpa' but it doesn't describe much of that day. You mention that he tells stories about his trophies, but it would have been nice to actually hear some of those. You use original characters in this story, and for us readers to get a good idea about them, it would have been nice to see more and to see it lead to some sort of conclusion, like a new bond with their estranged grandfather or something like that. Anyway, it was still a nice story and I especially liked the two boys.
Thank you for writing, I liked it, and keep writing! !
48reppad98Hm, this was a well written story. Your writing style has really improved compared to some of your earlier stories I've read, very well done! The dynamics between the family were enjoyable to read and there were some funny moments, like [Why did his parents have to have another child?], that made me chuckle. The personalities of the siblings were also different enough to get a feel for each of them in such a short story. I suppose that would be my tip for this story, to give it a bit more of a plot. The title is 'A Day with Grandpa' but it doesn't describe much of that day. You mention that he tells stories about his trophies, but it would have been nice to actually hear some of those. You use original characters in this story, and for us readers to get a good idea about them, it would have been nice to see more and to see it lead to some sort of conclusion, like a new bond with their estranged grandfather or something like that. Anyway, it was still a nice story and I especially liked the two boys.
Thank you for writing, I liked it, and keep writing! !