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for Indisputable

3/9/2018 c1 Bethany
so I know this was written a while ago but I just found it and... can you not?! can you just please NOT?! It's... VERY well written and the ending is... (forgive me for my cynicism of fanfiction) I'm used to fanfiction being... shippish but not well written but the ending to this is worthy of literature not a fanfiction!

that was... painful but it was very good. thanks for writing it!
1/13/2018 c1 Traecan52
I cannot explain how fantastic this was. I sobbed for the entire thing. Not only was this beautifully written, but the was a truth of emotion was right on point. I agree that this story was perfect from Jester's point of view. It added a piece that is not always captured from a main characters perspective. Seeing their love and pain from someone just outside, yet so invested is a heavy thing. The intial sweetness of falling in love to every day trust and friendship, to the willingness to die for the other. I don't know what else to say...I am still figthing to not cry. thank you for doing this so well and for keeping them together in the end.
10/24/2017 c1 NotMuggle
Holy crap...this was written beautifully.
It's not often this things on this site brings me to tears.
You are a wonder writer. "Of course she would avenge her thing I've ever read
9/21/2017 c1 26lareepqg
Ok- so I totally put off writing a review for this one, because it seriously makes me cry.

Then my eyes are all swollen.

Next my nose.

Which makes them itch so I rub them repeatedly.

And I end up with swelly-red face all day.

But this is a beautiful piece of angst that deserves a review, because it is beautiful-disgusting Laree-face or no. There is SO much to be said, I am not sure I can do your review justice, but I will nontheless try.

First off- I love that you chose Jester for the narrator of this tale. He’s not objective, at all, but it does give us a larger picture of what is going on in the kingdom, the castle, and between Jane and Gunther. His observations are of course colored with his own feelings- and when he’s recounting their love story you can feel his own turmoil. Jester wants to be a historian, to separate himself somehow, but he’s a bard at heart so OF COURSE what he sees is a bit embellished. And then: when we get down to the nitty-gritty of the action, it’s all very bare. His language changes a bit, as does his perspective-he stops inserting himself and his own feeling (well, not entirely) and begins reporting. A means of distancing himself from the horror and heartbreak he is witness to. Poor guy.

As it relates to the above-Jester as a narrator also an amazing choice because we get a double-punch of emotion. We don’t just see Gunther’s all-consuming grief, we get to experience Jester’s firsthand as well. What's better than one layer of angst? Two. MAYBE three and four if you pile on Milton and Adeline's grief as well. But having a grieving Jester witness and narrate Gunther's grief? It’s heartbreaking, and horrible, and GDI I am going to cry again.

Stop laughing at me.

Some other things: Foreshadowing. You use it a number of times to AMAZING effect. Jester noting that Jane would die if anything were to happen to Gunther, Smithy and his candid observations, Gunther saying he will be back soon. It all adds up to a pressing weight of dread, and even though we KNOW bad things are happening, and will continue to happen, we can’t help but buck against all that foreshadowing and HOPE for a better outcome. Which, of course, does not happen. No one gets their happy ending here. Not Jester, not Dragon, not Jane’s parents or the knights. Sure, they’ve driven off the attackers- but they’ve lost EVERYTHING in the process. The castle lay in ruins, their two best knights are dead, their airborne support is leaving, their entertainment/symbol of happiness/hope with him, and the next generation stopped before it is even started.

In this fic, you haven’t just killed Jane and Gunther. You haven’t just killed a young family and the hopes and dreams of the castle denizens, you’ve killed Kippernia.

Doomed it to a slow death via hopelessness, or maybe a quick death by invaders. Even if it does survive, the kingdom will never be the same- and there will unlikely be any female knights in the future- for exactly the events which have transpired here.

Anywhoo- Thank you so very much for killing Gunther. It wouldn’t have been fair to leave him an empty shell- rotting from the inside out. There would have been nothing good left for Gunther, at least for a very long time. I just don’t see him healing up right from this sort of thing, and going out with honor, to avenge his family, is just how I feel this Gunther would go.

Finally, because I seriously could end up typing you a never-ending rambling note- Jester sitting with Jane. **sob** That would be a very difficult vigil for anyone- never mind the unrequited lover. Yes, she had Pepper and Adeline, but Gunther’s request- that she be kept company by someone IN love with Jane-it’s a subtle acknowledgement of Gunther/Jester’s shared grief and loss. It is the only time they as not-rivals could come to terms with their feelings, and be in agreement. So sad, so terrible, so perfect for your story. I love it.

Thank you again for all of your amazing hard work- though I am GLAD to see this particular angst purged. I’ll probably read it again and cry some more, but not today. **weeps**
9/12/2017 c1 Bookloverdream
This is beautifully depressing.
9/12/2017 c1 Lily
I am the type of person who rarely sheds a single tear. Right now, I have just calmed down from sobs and there are still more tears on the way.
9/12/2017 c1 biscuitweevil
So, “Jane deserved better” pretty much sums up my thoughts. Actually, “everyone deserved better” is probably more accurate. But I’ll try to be a little more specific.

I have to say, though, that I got way more closure out of both of them dying, as opposed to just Jane. I suppose using Jester as the narrator should have been the tip-off (especially since, if I recall correctly, you don’t seem to like writing his POV?) However, I think you’ve captured his inner voice and thoughts perfectly. I also love how he’s the one relating the sequence of events in their romance at the beginning, as it gives you just enough of a glimpse into their lives to grasp how deeply they’ve fallen in love without bogging you down with ten pages of backstory (which I would have been happy to read anywhere else, of course, but probably would have slowed down this one-shot enormously). Also, a little side observation: Jester claims he will never write a ballad about this, but given he’s the one telling this story, this fic sort of is his ballad… in a way.

Now Jane and Gunther: I loved the way their relationship progressed, even through Jester’s eyes (and that he was only willing to admit that “Gunther loved Jane” but didn’t necessarily want to say the reverse, even though he understood Jane loved him back). The way you described their fighting together was also beautiful; the way “they moved like two parts of a whole. They were two parts of a whole”. And then, of course, Gunther’s potent heartache and subsequent shock, enough to surmise all their years of being in love all on its own.

“So he stayed there, at the periphery of Gunther’s grief” was undoubtedly my favorite line, followed closely by “I will find her… soon enough”.

After that, everything else—the preparation of the bodies, Pepper outfitting Jane in her armor, laying the two beside one another—was so well-written and honestly, this was really great. I’m afraid I’m probably an outlier when it comes to interpreting angst (like I said, killing them both off gave me CLOSURE), but this was still definitely a tragedy, by all accounts.

Anyway, all that to say this was incredible. And as with all of your work, thank you so much for sharing.
9/12/2017 c1 79SunRise19
Yeah, you're right...This HURTS. HURTS.
I understand the line about his friends dying...for Gunther is dead. Not physically, but mentally he is gone. That is what really struck me.
My heart really ached for Dragon. For Lavinia who lost someone so dear. For her parents. I'm really glad you had Milton in this fic.
But my Goodness, the pain..the heartbreak...I demand you write fluff with a baby and everything!
I know, as a writer myself I know you can't shut the muses up sometimes...My heart just bleeds for poor Gunther...Words cannot convey.

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