9/23/2017 c3 Guest-Questioner
F.Y.I a relationship in a story would take more then ONE chapter,

The maximum number is actually around five.

You went to fast here "friend"

you need four chapter's to build the relationship between your protagonist & the love interest

and the fifth chapter to cement it.

If you wanted to make it all one chapter

then you could have segmented this chapter with:

A few months have gone by since my initial arrival here in this world maybe 4 months or so

and in that time my friend & Mentor THE Doctor Angela Ziegler known as Mercy in the

OverWatch game has come to be a little...special to me, I don't know why but,

these last few weeks i guess i lost count at around six have been very

enjoyable to say the least...(you can say whatever from here but,

that is initially how a relationship is placed/made in a (single) chapter.

I know you can possibly be better then this so, Can you, Please!?

9/17/2017 c1 Guest
Good start. Interesting premise. Priya