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10/1/2017 c2 9Fido123a
Coolness, just the details of the apt verse in may nd and the should be awesome
9/27/2017 c2 Guest
This is great so far, keep it up
9/26/2017 c2 Person
Interesting concept. Try to pay more attention to grammar. " are used for speak and ' for thoughts. These little things make a story look a lot more professional and easier to understand and enjoy. Also try onto expand scenes more. THis scene you just described could have been longer and more detailed. This is a good concept, and let's make delicious ice cold lemonade with our lemons instead of warm lemon water.

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