for Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost5/7 c64 
10miicron
This story has been sitting in my downloaded stories for years now. I remember getting a bit into it a couple years ago and for whatever reason I dropped it. Now I think I recall why.
I'll start off on a good note- I love your writing. Your writing style, prose, pacing- they're all exceptional, especially for . I love your ability to add just enough detail to make the story feel immersive but not drag on about any given thing for too long- which is a rare ability indeed.
Most stories on this site have the issue of having an interesting/good story but being terribly written. The medium is the point of failure for most stories. 'Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost', however, is plagued by the inverse- it, in my opinion, is a middling story filled with mostly unlikable characters, redeemed only by the veneer of your skill in written English. In NATWWAL, everyone except Ruby and maybe Ozpin are assholes- both from Jaune's perspective and from their own. Their hatred and dislike of him early on- Nora's especially- while somewhat understandable, left a bad taste after reading- metaphorically speaking. Jaune's assholery is also understandable, but seriously, the amount of angst in this story is absurd- and it wasn't even advertised on the tin!
Please add the angst tag. It not being there and this story being an grimdark angstfest for most of its considerable length is criminal.
Now, as for the story- its certainly interesting. And I was very invested for the time I was able to look past the characters and keep my head above the sea of angst- but I knew from the moment the New Dawn were mentioned way back whenever on the news that I was probably going to end up dropping this story. I just can't take stories with Nazi-adjacent antagonist factions who are cartoonishly evil seriously- and there are quite a lot more of those than one would expect. 'Inglorious Basterds'/'Schindler's List' and their consequences I suppose. I dunno, especially with the sudden sidelining of the White Fang, it just feels like species cuckoldry to see the human protagonist be fighting against the group that promotes his own kind- and I know they're practically controlled by this story's "Super-Hitler" but seriously, I just can't.
For what its worth, I liked your characterization of Ruby, especially early on. You portrayed her as the perfect person to bring Jaune out of his self-imposed shell- though the foreshadowing of their eventually pairing is rather heavy-handed, but enjoyable nonetheless.
That's all I've got. I could write more but I'm short on time and have a ride to catch.
God Bless.
10miicronThis story has been sitting in my downloaded stories for years now. I remember getting a bit into it a couple years ago and for whatever reason I dropped it. Now I think I recall why.
I'll start off on a good note- I love your writing. Your writing style, prose, pacing- they're all exceptional, especially for . I love your ability to add just enough detail to make the story feel immersive but not drag on about any given thing for too long- which is a rare ability indeed.
Most stories on this site have the issue of having an interesting/good story but being terribly written. The medium is the point of failure for most stories. 'Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost', however, is plagued by the inverse- it, in my opinion, is a middling story filled with mostly unlikable characters, redeemed only by the veneer of your skill in written English. In NATWWAL, everyone except Ruby and maybe Ozpin are assholes- both from Jaune's perspective and from their own. Their hatred and dislike of him early on- Nora's especially- while somewhat understandable, left a bad taste after reading- metaphorically speaking. Jaune's assholery is also understandable, but seriously, the amount of angst in this story is absurd- and it wasn't even advertised on the tin!
Please add the angst tag. It not being there and this story being an grimdark angstfest for most of its considerable length is criminal.
Now, as for the story- its certainly interesting. And I was very invested for the time I was able to look past the characters and keep my head above the sea of angst- but I knew from the moment the New Dawn were mentioned way back whenever on the news that I was probably going to end up dropping this story. I just can't take stories with Nazi-adjacent antagonist factions who are cartoonishly evil seriously- and there are quite a lot more of those than one would expect. 'Inglorious Basterds'/'Schindler's List' and their consequences I suppose. I dunno, especially with the sudden sidelining of the White Fang, it just feels like species cuckoldry to see the human protagonist be fighting against the group that promotes his own kind- and I know they're practically controlled by this story's "Super-Hitler" but seriously, I just can't.
For what its worth, I liked your characterization of Ruby, especially early on. You portrayed her as the perfect person to bring Jaune out of his self-imposed shell- though the foreshadowing of their eventually pairing is rather heavy-handed, but enjoyable nonetheless.
That's all I've got. I could write more but I'm short on time and have a ride to catch.
God Bless.
4/6 c79 Guest
Amazing chapter, always love seeing Remenant Cultural practices
Amazing chapter, always love seeing Remenant Cultural practices
4/6 c3 AadenFo
Man it seems like it will be a really good story, but his personality just isnt for me. Theres nothing worse than finding a really good story, and the MC just isnt the type you like reading about. No one can be blamed, i just gotta move on
Man it seems like it will be a really good story, but his personality just isnt for me. Theres nothing worse than finding a really good story, and the MC just isnt the type you like reading about. No one can be blamed, i just gotta move on
2/11 c78 1Malaka139
Absolutely live this! Reread through the story since i had forgotten most of it. Excited for the next chapter!
1Malaka139Absolutely live this! Reread through the story since i had forgotten most of it. Excited for the next chapter!
1/7 c5 FromTheUnknown
Holy crap your character is unlikable.. I dont mind a distrusting or snappy protagonist but this guys just a straight up asshole of cringy proportions. Ill give it one a couple more chapter but if this his how hes gonna be imma dip..
Holy crap your character is unlikable.. I dont mind a distrusting or snappy protagonist but this guys just a straight up asshole of cringy proportions. Ill give it one a couple more chapter but if this his how hes gonna be imma dip..
8/27/2024 c78 Unknow Man
YEAH BOI.
So happy that this updated, and happy to see Jaune not being a grumpy mess, let's hope that Neo is just surprised and willing to take the change of plans.
YEAH BOI.
So happy that this updated, and happy to see Jaune not being a grumpy mess, let's hope that Neo is just surprised and willing to take the change of plans.