for Thunderstorm2/10/2018 c4 Guest
I don't think flattery alone won't get Mr.L on Dimentio's side. I think he's probably going to go a bit farther in winning over Mr.L.
I don't think flattery alone won't get Mr.L on Dimentio's side. I think he's probably going to go a bit farther in winning over Mr.L.
12/16/2017 c3 
868967484848
Excellent! I don't know if I've said this already but I love the Super Paper Mario plot because it's so original and dark, and I also love how you're adding depth to that plot. Also, Mr L does call Peach gorgeous in the game, so you stayed true to his character there and I like that too, even if I also don't ship them. And you say you might be adding in Mr L X Dimentio? I look forward to that, I think it would make it very interesting.
Well, this review is a lot longer than usual! Basically, I love your fanfic and I can't wait for more.
868967484848Excellent! I don't know if I've said this already but I love the Super Paper Mario plot because it's so original and dark, and I also love how you're adding depth to that plot. Also, Mr L does call Peach gorgeous in the game, so you stayed true to his character there and I like that too, even if I also don't ship them. And you say you might be adding in Mr L X Dimentio? I look forward to that, I think it would make it very interesting.
Well, this review is a lot longer than usual! Basically, I love your fanfic and I can't wait for more.
12/16/2017 c3 Guest
Nice to see an update. Looking forward to more, even if I have to wait. I love the behind the scenes at castle bleck. Especially the one line from the DP about L's hesitance brings him to shame. Actually seems like it came from the book!
Nice to see an update. Looking forward to more, even if I have to wait. I love the behind the scenes at castle bleck. Especially the one line from the DP about L's hesitance brings him to shame. Actually seems like it came from the book!
12/15/2017 c3 16NormanWhitesmith
Great job! SPM is on my list of games I need to play, so in a way, in kind of envious. I can't wait for more of your stories!
16NormanWhitesmithGreat job! SPM is on my list of games I need to play, so in a way, in kind of envious. I can't wait for more of your stories!
12/15/2017 c3 38SpaceDimentio
Did you say Lmentio? Sign me the fuck up
Yeah, I'm pretty sure L actually tries to flirt with Peach in game if you have her out
38SpaceDimentioDid you say Lmentio? Sign me the fuck up
Yeah, I'm pretty sure L actually tries to flirt with Peach in game if you have her out
12/15/2017 c2 38SpaceDimentio
This is really good, do continue!
I'm ok with cursing, I also feel like he would curse a lot
38SpaceDimentioThis is really good, do continue!
I'm ok with cursing, I also feel like he would curse a lot
10/8/2017 c2 4TheAnonymousDimentioFanGirl
Nice! I really find this story interesting! I can’t believe how great this is! Keep up your incredible writing!
4TheAnonymousDimentioFanGirlNice! I really find this story interesting! I can’t believe how great this is! Keep up your incredible writing!
10/8/2017 c2 868967484848
Excellent chapter! You portrayed Mr L very well. And about the swearing: it's up to you, I'd rather if there wasn't any but it won't stop me reading this if you decide to put it in. Maybe use more innocent "curses" like crap, for example? I know they're not really curses but if you feel it'd more realistic then they're good replacements.
868967484848Excellent chapter! You portrayed Mr L very well. And about the swearing: it's up to you, I'd rather if there wasn't any but it won't stop me reading this if you decide to put it in. Maybe use more innocent "curses" like crap, for example? I know they're not really curses but if you feel it'd more realistic then they're good replacements.
10/5/2017 c2 Guest
Really loved this chapter, and don't worry about it being exactly same as the game. If anything, it should be different to keep things fresh. The cursing thing is tricky. On one hand, it can make the dialogue more believable. On the other hand, you'd probably would have to put a T rating if you were to put cursing. I'm personally fine with the cursing though.
Really loved this chapter, and don't worry about it being exactly same as the game. If anything, it should be different to keep things fresh. The cursing thing is tricky. On one hand, it can make the dialogue more believable. On the other hand, you'd probably would have to put a T rating if you were to put cursing. I'm personally fine with the cursing though.
10/5/2017 c2 16NormanWhitesmith
That was amazing! Please make more!
I know the feeling of rating restraints all the time. If I wasn't making the stories so kids could read them, the dialogue in my stuff would probably be more along the lines of:
"So you're saying that this is Luigi?" Asked Mario as he ruffled the fur of the small dark brown bunny in his hands, the bunny enjoying it, but also looking up at his brother relieved that Mario appears to be believing that it's him. The professor nodded. "... Well fuck."
Probably every other line would contain cursing to be honest.
Great story and I can't wait for more!
16NormanWhitesmithThat was amazing! Please make more!
I know the feeling of rating restraints all the time. If I wasn't making the stories so kids could read them, the dialogue in my stuff would probably be more along the lines of:
"So you're saying that this is Luigi?" Asked Mario as he ruffled the fur of the small dark brown bunny in his hands, the bunny enjoying it, but also looking up at his brother relieved that Mario appears to be believing that it's him. The professor nodded. "... Well fuck."
Probably every other line would contain cursing to be honest.
Great story and I can't wait for more!
10/1/2017 c1 868967484848
I really liked this! It was short but very well written. And yes, I do want to see more! It's good even as a one-shot but it'd be better if it was continued.
868967484848I really liked this! It was short but very well written. And yes, I do want to see more! It's good even as a one-shot but it'd be better if it was continued.
9/30/2017 c1 Guest
Very nice!
Very nice!