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for Gold And Silver: A True Legend

11/30/2017 c1 3Chrono Phoenix
the previous version was better
10/9/2017 c1 Guest
interesting story, It has plenty of room for development and I look forward to what you do next. I'd advise spacing out the story a little more, as in breaking up the paragraphs and re-reading it once or twice afterwards. At the Start it should be barren, and try to chose a single phrase for the descriptions so as to avoid redundancy and confusion, Otherwise great job!
10/8/2017 c1 15Rum Aficionado
I'll be honest, this is pretty solid. It sticks with the tale of two brothers from canon, which I like personally, but there are a few minor issues. For example, there are a few grammer mistakes here and there, but they shouldn't take too long to fix, and there are also a few moments where you don't capitalise the first word in a sentence, but all and all, it's a good start. Also, space out your sentences a little more, it gets hard to read them if it's all bunched together. Anyways, I hope to see what's left in store for this story, good luck. Syn, out.

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