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4/14 c3 31Dr MAD and Co
Hi, how are you? Please, don't stop to write down this fiction! I really want to know what happens! I really love Giratina and you're giving it a behavior that I rarely see in other fictions, which is amazing! Please, go ahead, I want to know what will go on after!
2/28 c4 Dr MAD and Co
Don't stop this fiction, this is so amazing! I really love Giratina's behavior, and I gues few people would manage to get this result. No personality in it, this is so different from other works I read, and I enjoy it. Keep going!
2/17 c3 2Aurevesque
I think this is going really well. It took me a bit unfortunately to realize that Giratina was being spoken of in the plural form. I really can't wait for Cynthia's arrival though.
1/4 c2 2Mira Kial
As a thank-you for reading my Giratina story, I thought I'd read yours, and... wow. Your writing style is quite intriguing. I like how you get into Giratina's head, and that you have a very show-not-tell style. It's vivid and fast-paced, and I like the interaction between Gira and the Lake Trio.

I am confused with your use of pronouns, however. It seems to me that you are writing Giratina as a "plural" spirit that thinks of itself as multiple people, somewhat similar to what Ayn Rand did in the novel Anthem (if you've read that one), but sometimes it's inconsistent and you slip in the word "it" or "he," so sometimes I'm not actually sure. If that is your intention, then I would make it clear at the beginning of chapter one. Because the whole time I had no idea what "they" was referring to. At times I thought it was Giratina and Cyrus, and others, I thought "they" were the Legendaries in general, until I figured out that "they" was Giratina. Unless you're using "they" as another version of "it" so you can be gender-neutral? Anyway, all I'm saying is, I would love if you could be more clear as to who is what. :)

I was also a little unclear about when exactly Giratina emerged, and where he was, and who was with him, and where they were, etc. You don't need a lot, just a quick sentence or two so the reader can get some sort of mental picture of what exactly is happening. I know that you wanted this story to have a surreal, ambiguous atmosphere to illustrate the elusiveness of Giratina, but it was almost too ambiguous, and I had nothing to base my mental picture off of.

That criticism aside, I really do enjoy the voice you take on as an author. It's sinister like Giratina's, with a vaguely dry sense of humor, and very dramatic and intriguing. You get the reader asking all kinds of questions and building up lots of suspense. Keep writing!
11/22/2017 c2 2Moka Cocoa
"Get used to disappointment." yooooooo

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