for A Lost Hope10/26/2017 c3 
1justanuncreativedude
Looking good so far aside from the slightly strange English which I'm sure is gonna get better over time, though I must apologize for giving you poor examples in my last review haha. You see, the comma goes before the rightmost quotation marks. The punctuations if I'm not mistaken go like this...
"Hello, my name is Joe," said Joe. (With a dialogue Tag).
"Your name is Joe?" asked Bob (No Comma if it's a question).
"Yes, I am Joe." (No Tag so no comma is required).
Hopefully, that clears things up. I'll be looking forward to your next one.
1justanuncreativedudeLooking good so far aside from the slightly strange English which I'm sure is gonna get better over time, though I must apologize for giving you poor examples in my last review haha. You see, the comma goes before the rightmost quotation marks. The punctuations if I'm not mistaken go like this...
"Hello, my name is Joe," said Joe. (With a dialogue Tag).
"Your name is Joe?" asked Bob (No Comma if it's a question).
"Yes, I am Joe." (No Tag so no comma is required).
Hopefully, that clears things up. I'll be looking forward to your next one.
10/20/2017 c1 DMasterLurker
Not to be nitpicking, but Kagura had Simon as her older brother... Please dont about forget him...
Naruto's parts so far are fine...
Not to be nitpicking, but Kagura had Simon as her older brother... Please dont about forget him...
Naruto's parts so far are fine...
10/15/2017 c1 1justanuncreativedude
Alright, solid but a bit generic of a start though that isn't necessarily a bad thing. In my book, a familiar start is a safe start, and I like safe starts so good job with this first chapter. Also, I did catch a bit of a... I honestly don't know the term for it, an error in the flow in some of your sentences? What I mean by that is that some of your sentences, when I read them in my head, sounded kinda funny if that makes any sense. Also at the end of a dialogue, not sure if you just forgot to put one, there should be a comma right before the rightmost quotation marks (Not sure if they have a name) and the end of a sentence, if you have a dialogue tag after a dialogue like "He said", "She said", etc.
Keep at it!
1justanuncreativedudeAlright, solid but a bit generic of a start though that isn't necessarily a bad thing. In my book, a familiar start is a safe start, and I like safe starts so good job with this first chapter. Also, I did catch a bit of a... I honestly don't know the term for it, an error in the flow in some of your sentences? What I mean by that is that some of your sentences, when I read them in my head, sounded kinda funny if that makes any sense. Also at the end of a dialogue, not sure if you just forgot to put one, there should be a comma right before the rightmost quotation marks (Not sure if they have a name) and the end of a sentence, if you have a dialogue tag after a dialogue like "He said", "She said", etc.
Keep at it!