Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Birds of War

8/14/2019 c24 Charzard1966
You've been absent from this website for a while. Glad to see you back and in top form once again. An interesting chapter. Glad to see promotions go to those so richly deserving of them and not to those who have greatly overrated opinions of themselves (particularly the Number One Crybaby of the lot, who shall remain nameless, but is known to all). Waiting for him to receive hid just desserts.
9/29/2018 c14 Charzard1966
So, who are these newly-arrived members of the 4077th? They'll have to get up pretty early in the morning to put one over on Brigadier General Hammond! Henry and his newest charges are summoned to HQ to meet the Big Guy. Frank is summoned for a "review" of his record...

The children all pass muster without exception. General Hammond is impressed with the level of maturity displayed by the six, given their young ages. He is also pleased with their mentors for bringing them along so well, and with the role of the CO of this MASH unit. Much, however, remains to be said about the "difficult" Major Frank Burns so the decision to detain him is made.

In this chapter we are introduced to two new characters, Colonel Sherman Tecumseh Potter and Major Charles Emerson Winchester III. What part will each play in the perpetually unfolding story of the 4077th? We shall see.
9/23/2018 c13 Charzard1966
Sounds a bit fishy, doesn't it? The Chinese requesting a prisoner exchange 50 miles inside THEIR territory? Can they be trusted? Suspense builds while a lengthy discussion ensues among the potential participants and, at last, the protocol for procedures for the upcoming matter is resolved. The volunteers set forth on their mission only to discover that the ever-defiant Ferret Face has brought a firearm along, thereby violating the terms of the meeting. Surprisingly, the Chinese view the tiny pistol as no credible threat and the exchange is successfully completed.
9/17/2018 c12 Charzard1966
The party's over! Or maybe it's just beginning. Never a dull moment when Flagg is around! His presence coupled with that of Max Klinger certain gives one pause to wonder, "Just which of those two is REALLY the crazy one here?" The reveal of the Nazi spy, Peters/Muller, seemed almost too easy, although the chaos that resulted from efforts to capture and contain him proved that he wasn't going down without a struggle. He's going to be walking strangely (and not without a great deal of discomfort) for a while...and who is this mysterious General? The author has a way of keeping us tuned in for more!
6/7/2018 c9 Charzard1966
Tough times make for strange bedfellows (no pun intended). An interesting commentary on the markedly diverse ways in which humans react in time of crisis. Agreed, NO ONE is pleased with the situation which has been forced upon him/her; everyone complains about the situation; everyone has a select "someone" at whose feet the blame should be placed; but, in the end, each must ultimately deal with the collective injustices in his/her own way. It appears the winners are sarcasm and threats. And, just as the pot is about to boil over, food and supplies arrive. Amazing Grace.
5/11/2018 c8 Charzard1966
Feast or Famine. Lethargy or lunacy. The consequences of war produce dichotomies: experienced surgeons and novices working side by side in the OR, performing procedures from tonsillectomies to hernia repairs in the same arena, their patients ranging from young children to cranky adult (chronologically, at least) colleagues, one of whom will more than likely recover even more quickly than anticipated. The other, quite likely to milk it for all it's worth.
5/9/2018 c8 JosephAllan32
It's good, your getting better with you dialogue.
2/4/2018 c6 Charzard1966
Tense moments for the 4077th as an unknown "visitor" from an unknown location "drops in" during the most important football game of the year giving the M*A*S*H pause for more than just thought! Very Clever!
1/2/2018 c1 12Fencer22
First... I could honestly kiss you, guy or girl, for doing something interesting with maximum ride which is normally just so much wasted potential... yes I’m counting canon when I say that. Also because M.A.S.H. Nuff said right there.

That being said? I have issues with this already. Flag cannot draft them. That’s not how the draft works, at all. Second unless max is trained as a nurse the closest she could get to the fighting would be as a member of the USO or a generals aid or something. Pushing past that the idea that the entire flock could possibly be assigned to one unit, even ignoring the fact that most if not all are too young to be drafted in the first place is absurd. I would honestly recommend changing your premise. just max working as a nurse would make for a better basis right there. It would also put her within a more reasonable age range of the rest of the cast which would provide better character interactions.

Final piece of advice is that your dialogue comes across as rather flat, and you need to be more descriptive when describe how characters look, talk, act etc.

Basically this screams “I’m new and trying to get the hang of things.” But just the unusual premise is a very promising sign because it shows more imagination than most around here. I’ve got a list of general tips on my profile page you might find useful. Best of luck and keep writing :)

Desktop Mode . Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service