for Fanfiction - Volume 14: The City-States Alliance11/5/2017 c4 
1Shalltear Bloodfallen
Fucking kek. This sounds like the power of fucking friendship and shit. lol. That type of stuff doesn't exist in Overlord.
1Shalltear BloodfallenFucking kek. This sounds like the power of fucking friendship and shit. lol. That type of stuff doesn't exist in Overlord.
11/5/2017 c5 Shalltear Bloodfallen
Gods, you should use Grammarly or something, a lot of this was hard to read.
Gods, you should use Grammarly or something, a lot of this was hard to read.
11/2/2017 c1 Quintessent
Honestly, author should give a backstory to the OC characters and build them up (Similar to foresight and his group) to make the characters less 2D. Since these OC characters (Knight and Girl) is supposedly 'Heros' why not give a short story on their feats/acomplishments? then once they encounter Nazaricks' forces have them absolutely annahilated. You can build up a lot of hype for the readers and the story would be much more rich and appeasing to read instead of just introducing OC characters from the get-go.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
Honestly, author should give a backstory to the OC characters and build them up (Similar to foresight and his group) to make the characters less 2D. Since these OC characters (Knight and Girl) is supposedly 'Heros' why not give a short story on their feats/acomplishments? then once they encounter Nazaricks' forces have them absolutely annahilated. You can build up a lot of hype for the readers and the story would be much more rich and appeasing to read instead of just introducing OC characters from the get-go.
Can't wait for the next chapter!
10/30/2017 c3 TyphoeusFlugel
Hey great story! Keep it up! I love that this seems like something that has a lot of mind blowing potential! The only thing that could make this better is if there was a longer explanation of each army's strategic plan. But other than that. I love it! This has potential. :D
Hey great story! Keep it up! I love that this seems like something that has a lot of mind blowing potential! The only thing that could make this better is if there was a longer explanation of each army's strategic plan. But other than that. I love it! This has potential. :D
10/30/2017 c3 Guest
Will you be writing more about the country and throwing some exposition after this battle?
Will you be writing more about the country and throwing some exposition after this battle?
10/29/2017 c3 Mamon the lich king
nice chapter. well most writer make their oc too strong, so it was a relief that he was not able to overpower the death knight. it would be really nice if you could explain about your oc skill that could kill a gurdian.
nice chapter. well most writer make their oc too strong, so it was a relief that he was not able to overpower the death knight. it would be really nice if you could explain about your oc skill that could kill a gurdian.
10/29/2017 c3 Nedia The Tormentor
I doubt Cocytus would let Aura die, he would slap your oc if aura cannons defeat her
I doubt Cocytus would let Aura die, he would slap your oc if aura cannons defeat her
10/29/2017 c3 Hydrangea Wine
I had to admit that reading the first few chapters frustrated me because I thought it was out of character for Ainz to attack the City-state Alliance without a casus belli. After all, the latest volume and parts of volume 10 have made it clear that Ainz wants other countries to be "baited" into attacking the Sorcerer Kingdom for this purpose.
After reading you spoiler comment, however, even though I still believe it is a stretch for Ainz to follow this course of action, I suppose I can let this go as the reasoning does make sense.
Excluding Ainz, Pandora's Actor is my favorite male character in Overlord. I feel that using him for diplomacy is a wonderful idea and my fanboy side will definitely be happy with seeing more of him as, unfortunately, he has not been used much in the LN. PA should be entertaining to explore as his intelligence is on par with Albedo and Demiruge, and is stated to be the best in all of Nazarick in terms of tactical ability while his job levels should also make him the most versed in diplomacy and statesmanship. Moreover, because he was created by Ainz with the intention of preserving the memory of the Supreme Beings, it would be of no surprise if he can offer more insight into them than any of his fellow guardians. This has the potential to make his inner dialogues interesting. I would also love for him to blitz the City-State Alliance, but I guess that would be too much of a curb stomp...
On the power level of your OC god-kin, I was fearing that she would be some level 100 overpowered antagonist character out of place in Overlord. After all, having such a character would go against the story's theme of Ainz being the undisputed power and focusing more on character interactions. I don't mind her being as strong as the First Seat in the Black scripture (as long as the Alliance doesn't have a stock pile of similarly strong characters), but her ability to "kill a Guardian" should be explained (largely because this is a pretty substantial thing to say, and anything short of dragon lord powers makes this statement incredulous to many). Particularly because what constitutes as a weapon or power capable of doing this changes depending on the Guardian in question. A power that would kill Aura, for instance, would likely not kill Albedo because of the Overseer's special defense skills. In other words, it would be more believable if the skill your OC has is only a threat to the lesser combative guardians. Such a level of power will put Aura - who is currently deployed - at risk, creating suspense for the reader. But because the reader will know that the power is not absolute in that it cannot kill a Nazarick "trump card" like Shalltear, they would be more accepting of your character possessing such a skill. Either way, I would not want to be the fool who has such a power and uses it successfully - the wrath of Papa Bones will likely see their country razed, friends killed, and they would experience a fate worse than death.
Overall, thank you for this story. It has provided a good escape for me. I hope you continue updating!
I had to admit that reading the first few chapters frustrated me because I thought it was out of character for Ainz to attack the City-state Alliance without a casus belli. After all, the latest volume and parts of volume 10 have made it clear that Ainz wants other countries to be "baited" into attacking the Sorcerer Kingdom for this purpose.
After reading you spoiler comment, however, even though I still believe it is a stretch for Ainz to follow this course of action, I suppose I can let this go as the reasoning does make sense.
Excluding Ainz, Pandora's Actor is my favorite male character in Overlord. I feel that using him for diplomacy is a wonderful idea and my fanboy side will definitely be happy with seeing more of him as, unfortunately, he has not been used much in the LN. PA should be entertaining to explore as his intelligence is on par with Albedo and Demiruge, and is stated to be the best in all of Nazarick in terms of tactical ability while his job levels should also make him the most versed in diplomacy and statesmanship. Moreover, because he was created by Ainz with the intention of preserving the memory of the Supreme Beings, it would be of no surprise if he can offer more insight into them than any of his fellow guardians. This has the potential to make his inner dialogues interesting. I would also love for him to blitz the City-State Alliance, but I guess that would be too much of a curb stomp...
On the power level of your OC god-kin, I was fearing that she would be some level 100 overpowered antagonist character out of place in Overlord. After all, having such a character would go against the story's theme of Ainz being the undisputed power and focusing more on character interactions. I don't mind her being as strong as the First Seat in the Black scripture (as long as the Alliance doesn't have a stock pile of similarly strong characters), but her ability to "kill a Guardian" should be explained (largely because this is a pretty substantial thing to say, and anything short of dragon lord powers makes this statement incredulous to many). Particularly because what constitutes as a weapon or power capable of doing this changes depending on the Guardian in question. A power that would kill Aura, for instance, would likely not kill Albedo because of the Overseer's special defense skills. In other words, it would be more believable if the skill your OC has is only a threat to the lesser combative guardians. Such a level of power will put Aura - who is currently deployed - at risk, creating suspense for the reader. But because the reader will know that the power is not absolute in that it cannot kill a Nazarick "trump card" like Shalltear, they would be more accepting of your character possessing such a skill. Either way, I would not want to be the fool who has such a power and uses it successfully - the wrath of Papa Bones will likely see their country razed, friends killed, and they would experience a fate worse than death.
Overall, thank you for this story. It has provided a good escape for me. I hope you continue updating!
10/29/2017 c3 1Shalltear Bloodfallen
kek. Your sword won't even be able to cut Aura, let alone inflict a decisive blow. :P
1Shalltear Bloodfallenkek. Your sword won't even be able to cut Aura, let alone inflict a decisive blow. :P