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for Robots who can feel? (Withered Foxy X Toy Bonnie) (CANCELLED)

3/5/2019 c3 LightIlumin879
The truth is that I do not speak English, which is why I did not find your story before. Even if you cancel it, please do not delete it, I like how you did it and your way of narrating, I really liked it! You should not self-depreciate, we can improve everyone, but in the meantime we should create what we can in that moment and improve the next one. Regards!
And I'm sorry if there's any misspelling. As I mentioned at first I do not speak much English, so I get help from the translator (?
10/24/2017 c1 9kittycatpaws
Pretty good story, but remember to give credit where its due (for example, Scott Cawthon owns FNAF so you would credit it to him). It may be Fanficiton, but that doesn't mean you can get away without doing that.

It wouldn't hurt to practice making summaries so that Readers know what to expect.
10/22/2017 c1 6StartersoverLegends
Your first fanfic, ya say? In that case, I'm honored to be your first review ;]

Alright, so what do we have here... I must say, it's a sad thought to see the Mangle go. It was always one of my favorite animatronics- surely one of the most interesting ones. I'll have to admit, I kind of love the name Tochia. Even if it seems obvious for the Toy Chica animatronic, it's fun to say and I haven't seen the name used before now.

I'll be the first to admit that MaleXMale isn't my favorite thing to read, but I figure the rules of writing a good romance fic apply despite what the pairing is. With that said, here's a wee bit of advice; don't be afraid to take your time and really let the romance build up between your characters. It's very easy to get excited or anxious and rush into a pairing, but believe me, a steady growth in their relationship will absolutely pay off and give your readers something to look forward to with each chapter. Another tip, though minor, is something I learned from an author teacher of mine: if you can, try to avoid using phrases like "slightly hugged". It's not necessarily wrong, but something like a hug can be seen as a binary action- either it happened or it didn't. Like I said, very very minor suggestion.

Apart from that, your writing seems just fine to me :) I encourage you to keep working and have fun with it!

Best wishes!
-S/L

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