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for Halloween in Masked Mystery Mansion

11/19/2017 c1 1Disconsolate Mist
Intriguing first chapter indeed! It really drew me in and got me wanting to read more of the story, to find out what's going to happen next, whether more people will get murdered, whether Shinichi will find this illusive treasure! Its an incredibly engaging first chapter, which is essential for getting people into what your writing. Beautiful job with that~!

Its... not really much of a mystery as to who's who yet, but I hope some characters who are completely unidentifiable will be introduced soon~ I'm very much looking forward to that.. Really, the main mystery here seems to be finding the treasure, which is interesting how that evolved. :D

Hmm... faceless man costume description really gave me chills. It was probably my favorite part of this chapter, as it was very nicely written~ Just the fact he was so creepy there, with his latex mask and faceless...face, it was a wonderful thing~

Anyway! I can't wait to read more! I'll be here more hopefully and be able to edit the whole of the rest of the chapters you post for this... for now, its 1 in the morning and I think I'm gonna just faint on the bed now...

Thanks for writing~
11/4/2017 c1 29BloodiedCoreOfHope
Eeeeh? I thought this was a one shot? Never mind :P
While there were many points where the phrasing was awkward (and why did you capitalise Foyer?!) it wasn't too distracting from the overall story.
You've got a good set up and a brilliant cliffhanger that's left me on the edge of my seat. Only partially because of the writing content, mostly because of the room falling silent. Something eerie about that, you know.
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I reviewed, ne? :D
11/1/2017 c1 6Smiley-Nami
This is interesting. Continue when you can.
11/1/2017 c1 9h9i6t3
will Akako, Aoko, Sera, Shuichi, Amuro or other officials show up ?
11/1/2017 c1 16Hebiaczek
Oh~ This was quite intruging and fun - especially seeing Kaito play the part of death ;) But it kind of struck me as unfair that some guests get disqualified from the game earlier than others (I mean the victims ofc).
At first - when Jodie was the first victim - I thought that Akai was 'death' but that way of dissapearing could only mean Kaito xD And this had me wondering whether this is a part of the game - for the detectives to figure out that KID is 'stealing' the victims...
I'll be looking forward to the next chapter~
10/31/2017 c1 4Jame Press
Thank You

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