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10/30/2018 c4 Ardishana
Go Hinata! Smack some sense into them.
10/30/2018 c4 Brazilwolf
Awwww this chapter was really good to me. I like the bond she has between her brothers as well as her gut to go and seek help for her twin. Hope she gets through to Madara this time
10/29/2018 c4 pvamangafan100
oh please continue! I am dying to read more! thank yo uso much for the update!
10/26/2018 c4 3honeytea8
Love it so far, update soon!
10/25/2018 c4 Pharu
I'm so excited to find out what happensnext. Please please please update as soon as possible!.I really would like to know what happens next.
10/25/2018 c4 Zaph
I really liked the narrative of this chapter- fast paced yet brimming with details. Hinata's character is well developed too. But, I wonder if this story is going to get regular updates for it's amazing.
10/23/2018 c4 38Daastan Go
Why’s everyone calling Hinata princess (Hime, basically)? It's such a cliché. The hard Clan-Head being a softie for his wife is another cliché. These added nothing to the story, really: they just made it more simplistic and clichéd and plain in execution. Hinata’s also some kind of a comical super-human who trains, watches over everyone, and knits a truck-load of merchandise to feed a lot of people. It’s so . . . silly.

You had a chance to comment, in an unbiased manner, about the cultural philosophy of honour (pride's more of a byproduct of this), but you didn't. The content just reeks of a holier-than-thou attitude (which is fairly common amongst a lot of American, Canadian, and British writers). The suggestion that this culture is the "wrong" culture hardly has any merit. It's an empty argument. Putting Hinata on a pedestal to delineate the right and wrong between philosophies was really absurd. Why's Hinata some kind of an "objective" entity to see the wrong in things? Why was her father not an innocent man in times of war? If he isn't innocent (implying that his death was a fitting end), then why's her mother innocent, despite supporting him?

If she thinks that being a pacifist's (not Itachi's cartoon pacifism in the manga) the right stance to take in such matters, then why train with her brothers? His father doesn't value her strength (and he's right, because he thinks she's a normal woman, not someone who's being trained by her brothers), but he sees her fit to instruct and guide her brothers—he even called them “stupid”? Why? Now, I'm all for not over-simplifying the content or context, but none of this makes any sense: one thread plainly contradicts the other.

Hinata just seems to rant on and on and on (ad nauseam) about the effects of war, but why’s she the only one who speaks out with such conviction? That scene where a massive fire was put out by the selflessness of Senju (with just a couple of buckets and Tobirama's immensely shitty Suiton Jutsus, magically) was . . . weird as hell, mate. Showing one group as selfless creates an inherent bias in this story, which isn't a good position to take in the narrative.

You should never write in the position of a moralist by turning things into binary concepts; and since Hinata's your mouth-piece, it opens up further issues: Why’s she the only voice of (cartoon) reason in your story? In clans, the clan heads are supported by a council, which is a powerful group of branch families that speak out in the favour of the Head's decision, or challenge it. Let's assume that she does have a different mindset (I'm putting aside this characterization issue to make a point, but it’s still an issue with your character), but why does no one else have a similar mindset? Why's Hinata the only one? Am I supposed to believe that a fifteen-year-old (seventeen later) has more sense than elders who’ve waded through constant wars? As you can see, there are many questions, but you’ve got no answers for these; and Madara’s suddenly so bull-headed? Why?

You stated that she's special (this comment was just so out there), but you didn't have to be so literal on that front, as the Uchiha were fucked over, big time!, by the alliance with the Senju; so why's there no sense in crushing the foes with power? Did the alliance change anything in the end? Three big wars, which the Uchiha fought with other Great Villages under Konoha's banner, would prove otherwise; hence, putting aside honour for an alliance's great, but what does it change in the long run? They're simply throwing aside their own honour, and fighting for another’s. (I find a lot of shame in such a mindset.) The paradigm simply shifted and nothing changed.

You haven't addressed any of these, really. Hinata's just special (yeah, she's really, really special—if you know what I mean), and that's the entire plot of your story, so far. The story has many other issues, but there really isn’t any point in nitpicking about them: your plot alone has got tons of issues. Personally, I'm disappointed because this was a rather fresh idea, but you're so hasty in forming some kind of silly Romance-bond between Tobirama and Hinata that everything else's just left in the dust. I hope you re-evaluate your story and pick this up (it only has four chapters, after all), because you do have a unique concept to explore. Honestly, I do hope you rethink the Implausibilities of your plot and smooth this over. That's all I would say.

Best of luck.
10/23/2018 c1 Daastan Go
". . . blow it out his ass"? Really? That was a fairly juvenile dialogue given the context you've established. Not to mention this sort of attitude's very, very disrespectful in a Japanese society. And yes, I'm aware that you've left an OOC tag there, but that doesn't mean you should drop the societal ethos, as well. That aside, I don't understand the reason to rewrite the whole part of the conflict, because you haven't done anything novel here.

On one hand, Hinata's really emotional about Kana's death, but on the other hand, she's really perceptive for someone who's never been on the battlefield. Quite the paradox, wouldn't you agree? You'd expect that Madara and Izuna would develop more perspective, especially Madara, because Izuna's alive; however, it's someone who's only seen the battlefield from the sidelines. That seems very unrealistic. Seeing the battles isn't the same as being in them. Big difference.

The idea's fresh, so I'm going to read ahead to see what you bring to the table.
10/22/2018 c4 1ForeverTwistedLove8814
Go Hinata!
10/22/2018 c1 dibachan1
Love ur story. waiting for more updates
10/22/2018 c4 Guest
Otima historia continua
10/22/2018 c4 3Valen Goncalvez
Follow, follow, follow, follow please!
10/22/2018 c4 Shes alright i guess
cliffhanger, it’s a shame you don’t update often I forgot about this story and had to skip over to remember everything but great chapter non the less but please the updates are very random and forgetful I forgot I even had this story in my library-Just some friendly criticism
10/22/2018 c3 Guest
Hinata could try lear medic jutsus her eyrs are perfect to this. I don't know why there was no hyuuga medic in canon but they eould be amazing at it and even more deadly on battlefild naybe know how to cure and to kill
10/22/2018 c4 toosoonforthis
This was a great chapter! Glad I got to read it on Monday (God knows they always suck). So it made my day~

Thank you for sharing and I hope you have a nice day ~
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