
4/13/2021 c2 Whatevergirl
The epitome of stupid, right here!
The epitome of stupid, right here!
7/18/2020 c2 R0gueMess1ah
The first chapter was pretty well written. I feel it could have been given some more description and had the story expanded on more. I’m assuming it was rewritten based on the date written at the bottom of the page. The second chapter...well, it needs some serious work. It’s choppy, multiple fragmented sentences combined into one sentence that doesn’t make any sense, questions and regular sentences made into one, and almost unreadable. I hope you are able to come back and rewrite this story, since I see a lot of potential in it.
The first chapter was pretty well written. I feel it could have been given some more description and had the story expanded on more. I’m assuming it was rewritten based on the date written at the bottom of the page. The second chapter...well, it needs some serious work. It’s choppy, multiple fragmented sentences combined into one sentence that doesn’t make any sense, questions and regular sentences made into one, and almost unreadable. I hope you are able to come back and rewrite this story, since I see a lot of potential in it.
9/19/2018 c1 KenpoDragonRoar
I read one paragraph and quit because the grammar is so bad it’s hard to read.
I read one paragraph and quit because the grammar is so bad it’s hard to read.
3/3/2018 c8 darth56
sorry to hear that i liked this story i hope you write more storys and i hope you keep it up so we can have a good read now and then
sorry to hear that i liked this story i hope you write more storys and i hope you keep it up so we can have a good read now and then
2/17/2018 c7 Ignacio365
The appearance of amanda (fem arthur) is like artoria pendragon of fate grand order?
The appearance of amanda (fem arthur) is like artoria pendragon of fate grand order?
1/20/2018 c7 loquendo777
Mira compadre, esta es la historia mas ironica que e leido, pero es muy buena se repiten varias hecenas (modo zuculento 7w7.) pero es resto del guion es limpio nada antes visto
Mira compadre, esta es la historia mas ironica que e leido, pero es muy buena se repiten varias hecenas (modo zuculento 7w7.) pero es resto del guion es limpio nada antes visto