
12/7/2017 c1 vivian777
I been reading ur story for a while and it is awesome. IDK why but I'm getting a feeling that Roy will try to flirt to Orihime but she is going to be dense about it.
I been reading ur story for a while and it is awesome. IDK why but I'm getting a feeling that Roy will try to flirt to Orihime but she is going to be dense about it.
12/4/2017 c5 SunniKing
It fits that Orihime wouldn’t understand how alchemy worked if no one ever told her.
I really enjoy your story as it is combining two of my favourite animes together. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
It fits that Orihime wouldn’t understand how alchemy worked if no one ever told her.
I really enjoy your story as it is combining two of my favourite animes together. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
12/4/2017 c4 Hollow Alchemist
Grr, I am busy so no time for any PMs yet. I will review this chapter though. :)
First off, you're welcome for my reviews and thank you for the compliments. And I have no qualms about adding in elements of the 2003 series as the famous "watching the series" fanfic "Truth Revealed" by Fallen Crest did so before the author was harassed into taking it down.
For the chapter itself, I find it somewhat suspicious that no one noticed the construction of en entire underground railway that even heads out onto a mountain. I mean, what was it used for? Did it have an innocuous use that was forgotten, with the criminals hiding the old entrance? Or is it a sinister "slave rail" that runs throughout different parts of the country? I doubt that the kidnappers would strike the same town twice, or at least do so in recent memory. Hence why constructing a rail for just one town would seem impractical. The fact that they were sent from the area of Central with the leader knowing alchemy is suspicious and may tie into how they learned about the "alchemist healer". Also, the fact that Rebecca and the freed prisoners didn't recognize each other means that not all of the prisoners were from her town alone.
Next topic, I for one think that Edward was bluffing and intentionally being an ass when he argued with the townsfolk about whether he should go rescue their kidnapped members. I mean he and Al don't exactly strike me as the kind of people who would just leave anyone to that fate, regardless of how the townspeople disrespected him beforehand. Their hearts are too big for that regardless of how much they like to troll.
Now Orihime - say what you will about her use of words, but I was more impressed at her creative use of her powers. Much more than we saw in canon Bleach. And I'm sure that she intended to save herself and not commit suicide when Ed saved her, to which I imagine she will be surprised.
For Orihime's words about healing people as people, well, they don't strike me as too remarkable as plenty of medical people both in the real world and even with the 4th division in fanfiction have a policy of treating patients regardless of allegiance. Heck there are some Israeli hospitals such as one in Jerusalem that treat Palestinians the same as they would any Israeli. Of course maybe such policies are more novel in the FMA world, or in Amestris. Winry's parents treated Ishvalans, and, well, the fanfic Truth Revealed speculated that even if Scar didn't end up killing them, Central would have sent orders for them to stop or be arrested/killed for their actions anyways.
Oh, and the chapter most interestingly ended on a healing note that will both introduce the Elric Brothers to Orhime's abilities (which she will have a VERY difficult time covering up to keep up her promise) and see if/how said abilities affect the Elric's gate-removed body parts.
Before I delve into discussion of "Messianic Archetypes", I will admit that your comments praising Orihime's words reminded me of some "How to Train Your Dragon 2" memes I came across on DeviantArt by an artist named "Omnipotrent". The basis is them showing a picture of Hiccup with the captioned quote "But he's human - that means he can be reasoned with". Followed by a picture below of some unreasonable irredeemable villain below. Hilariously, two of them are even FMA characters in the forms of Shou Tucker and Kimblee.
Anyways, for "Messianic Archetype" one has to be careful not to end up describing a "Mary Sue". While Orihime's quirky yet caring personality is definitely unique, her character development throughout canon was rather troubled. She took forever to admit her feelings for Ichigo, even though one version of the manga pilot (as mentioned in the Bleach section of the "What Could Have Been" page on TVTropes) had Orihime confess to Ichigo and him reciprocate her feelings before she died to her hollowfied father (quite different from the canon we got eh?). One moment where she really began to present herself as a "force to be reckoned with" was (if I recall correctly) her threatening to try and reject the Hougyoku from existence (something not violent nor talking down the enemy but still a way of potentially crippling the enemy) - which she never ended up trying. Not so much her fault as the writing (I would ask how you think she compares to Kagome from Inuyasha whom you despise based on your profile, but I would like to stay on topic and maybe save that for a potential future PM conversation). On a side note, I would wager that Orihime could still "kick ass" in a combat situation by restraining/imprisoning enemies with her shield. I don't know if she would ever be forced to kill to save herself or someone else, but it would be and interesting lesson for her to learn.
And I don't think that all hollows are pure evil so much as many of them are despaired. Not all of them have the gates of Hell open up for them upon their deaths (even if this occurs for actions done in life). It begs the question of what the likes of the arrancar Nel, Harribel, Starrk, etc. were like before they became arrancar. Or Bawabawa who likely was never an arrancar to begin with. Though there are memes out there mentioning how even the "good" hollows/arrancar still have to eat souls to survive and are also made up of souls like the philosopher stones powering the homunculi, it's not like many of them have a choice once they gain sentience. Some of the souls in their bodies come from other hollows they've eaten, perhaps in self-defense. They could also have seized control of their bodies from the souls that did much of the soul eating.
I should move on. Hm, nothing left but the preview note about the upcoming Nina arc which you label a "tragedy". Yay. Well, I guess her mother was still made into a chimera who died, so that's got to be tragic enough for the Elrics and Nina to learn anyways? But I don't think you'll have the characters get off that easy now won't you? :P I guess I'll just have to wait and find out. See you later! ;D
Grr, I am busy so no time for any PMs yet. I will review this chapter though. :)
First off, you're welcome for my reviews and thank you for the compliments. And I have no qualms about adding in elements of the 2003 series as the famous "watching the series" fanfic "Truth Revealed" by Fallen Crest did so before the author was harassed into taking it down.
For the chapter itself, I find it somewhat suspicious that no one noticed the construction of en entire underground railway that even heads out onto a mountain. I mean, what was it used for? Did it have an innocuous use that was forgotten, with the criminals hiding the old entrance? Or is it a sinister "slave rail" that runs throughout different parts of the country? I doubt that the kidnappers would strike the same town twice, or at least do so in recent memory. Hence why constructing a rail for just one town would seem impractical. The fact that they were sent from the area of Central with the leader knowing alchemy is suspicious and may tie into how they learned about the "alchemist healer". Also, the fact that Rebecca and the freed prisoners didn't recognize each other means that not all of the prisoners were from her town alone.
Next topic, I for one think that Edward was bluffing and intentionally being an ass when he argued with the townsfolk about whether he should go rescue their kidnapped members. I mean he and Al don't exactly strike me as the kind of people who would just leave anyone to that fate, regardless of how the townspeople disrespected him beforehand. Their hearts are too big for that regardless of how much they like to troll.
Now Orihime - say what you will about her use of words, but I was more impressed at her creative use of her powers. Much more than we saw in canon Bleach. And I'm sure that she intended to save herself and not commit suicide when Ed saved her, to which I imagine she will be surprised.
For Orihime's words about healing people as people, well, they don't strike me as too remarkable as plenty of medical people both in the real world and even with the 4th division in fanfiction have a policy of treating patients regardless of allegiance. Heck there are some Israeli hospitals such as one in Jerusalem that treat Palestinians the same as they would any Israeli. Of course maybe such policies are more novel in the FMA world, or in Amestris. Winry's parents treated Ishvalans, and, well, the fanfic Truth Revealed speculated that even if Scar didn't end up killing them, Central would have sent orders for them to stop or be arrested/killed for their actions anyways.
Oh, and the chapter most interestingly ended on a healing note that will both introduce the Elric Brothers to Orhime's abilities (which she will have a VERY difficult time covering up to keep up her promise) and see if/how said abilities affect the Elric's gate-removed body parts.
Before I delve into discussion of "Messianic Archetypes", I will admit that your comments praising Orihime's words reminded me of some "How to Train Your Dragon 2" memes I came across on DeviantArt by an artist named "Omnipotrent". The basis is them showing a picture of Hiccup with the captioned quote "But he's human - that means he can be reasoned with". Followed by a picture below of some unreasonable irredeemable villain below. Hilariously, two of them are even FMA characters in the forms of Shou Tucker and Kimblee.
Anyways, for "Messianic Archetype" one has to be careful not to end up describing a "Mary Sue". While Orihime's quirky yet caring personality is definitely unique, her character development throughout canon was rather troubled. She took forever to admit her feelings for Ichigo, even though one version of the manga pilot (as mentioned in the Bleach section of the "What Could Have Been" page on TVTropes) had Orihime confess to Ichigo and him reciprocate her feelings before she died to her hollowfied father (quite different from the canon we got eh?). One moment where she really began to present herself as a "force to be reckoned with" was (if I recall correctly) her threatening to try and reject the Hougyoku from existence (something not violent nor talking down the enemy but still a way of potentially crippling the enemy) - which she never ended up trying. Not so much her fault as the writing (I would ask how you think she compares to Kagome from Inuyasha whom you despise based on your profile, but I would like to stay on topic and maybe save that for a potential future PM conversation). On a side note, I would wager that Orihime could still "kick ass" in a combat situation by restraining/imprisoning enemies with her shield. I don't know if she would ever be forced to kill to save herself or someone else, but it would be and interesting lesson for her to learn.
And I don't think that all hollows are pure evil so much as many of them are despaired. Not all of them have the gates of Hell open up for them upon their deaths (even if this occurs for actions done in life). It begs the question of what the likes of the arrancar Nel, Harribel, Starrk, etc. were like before they became arrancar. Or Bawabawa who likely was never an arrancar to begin with. Though there are memes out there mentioning how even the "good" hollows/arrancar still have to eat souls to survive and are also made up of souls like the philosopher stones powering the homunculi, it's not like many of them have a choice once they gain sentience. Some of the souls in their bodies come from other hollows they've eaten, perhaps in self-defense. They could also have seized control of their bodies from the souls that did much of the soul eating.
I should move on. Hm, nothing left but the preview note about the upcoming Nina arc which you label a "tragedy". Yay. Well, I guess her mother was still made into a chimera who died, so that's got to be tragic enough for the Elrics and Nina to learn anyways? But I don't think you'll have the characters get off that easy now won't you? :P I guess I'll just have to wait and find out. See you later! ;D
11/29/2017 c4
9Zrocker119
Finally Fuckingly! Someone that doesn’t dis Orihime just because she doesn’t fight. Glad so see I’m not the only

Finally Fuckingly! Someone that doesn’t dis Orihime just because she doesn’t fight. Glad so see I’m not the only
11/25/2017 c3 Hollow Alchemist
Interesting and good chapter, and thanks for responding to my previous review (which you're welcome for)! I will cover things point by point:
-For your response to my review, episode 13 or 14 is Greed's gang and just before Ling shows up. Should be interesting. Also, Liore is episode 3 but Nina is episode 4, so this still might be before the "incident" with her.
-Hm, Ichigo and Rukia at the Promised Day? Should be interesting but they are powerful. Only the Homunculi and Father (especially after he absorbs the souls of Amestris and freaking God) could really give them a challenge. I suppose that the Bleach cast hasn't really fought against opponents with firearms aside from Starrk/Lilynette, Gremmy, and Lille Barro. While Orihime has a human body (except when going through a Senkaimon or Garganta which convert their bodies to spiritual matter according to the Bleach Wiki), it remains to be seen if Ichigo and Rukia would be in a form that non-spiritual bullets could hurt. They can't hurt pluses/ghosts after all... Maybe the FMA universe has more affects on Bleach abilities than we know? Other characters, well, Idk as well. They shouldn't be too powerful. Maybe Uryu, Chad, and maybe even Tatsuki (who was originally supposed to be given powers but executives told Kubo to "hurry up and introduce the shinigami" - many fans give her powers similar to a hybrid of Chad and Yoruichi and have her trained by the latter). Chad, Armstrong, and Sig teaming up against Sloth would be interesting.
-Well English is considered the "business" language of the world. The more proper term for such a language is a "lingua franca" (derived from a simplified form of Italian spoken by Renaissance sailors in the Mediterranean). Wikipedia has a whole list of them, though many apply to individual (albeit very populous) countries like China, India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, etc. Others arise from imperial or colonial roots like Arabic for the Middle East and North Africa, Spanish for Latin America and the Caribbean, Portuguese being spoken in Brazil, etc. French, German, and Persian were historically spoken for the areas these empires conquered. Swahili is spoken in many parts of central and eastern Africa. Latin is considered a "dead" language (no alterations being made to it) but is used/spoken by Christian Churches and taxonomic scientists.
For your story purposes, English will work just fine, although the subtitle excuse might be problematic as Orihime already commented on English being the language spoken.
-Okay to hear about Rebecca and your stance on "copyright crusaders". I recommend looking things up on the FMA wiki if you are unsure about their appearance in the series. For instance, the page on Amestris contains a map that you were looking for in your end chapter author note. In fact, it actually states in its legend that "English" actually IS the official language of Amestris! XD (Trivia says that this is the only instance of this being mentioned as no other characters or texts do so.) To summarize, the country is divided into five Areas in the form of Central, East, South, West, and North. Ishval was a sovereign country much like the East, South, West, and North once were before being annexed (invaded, conquered, etc.) and incorporated into the southern portion of the East Area. Incidentally, it is right next to Resembool, so the Elrics and Rockbells should be familiar with the regional affects of the War. Other major cities in the East Area besides East City are Liore, Youswell, and New Opitan. The South Area contains Rush Valley and Dublith. The only city in Central visited in the series is Central City. Fort Briggs lies directly north of North City on the border with Drachma. As the country was meant to be circular for the nationwide transmutation circle, it is implied that the northernmost "indent" is the battlefield where the Drachman soldiers are massacred by the forts' defenses to complete the blood crest. Oddly, the West Area is the only one not directly visited in the series except maybe for the "Sacred Star of Milos" movie where they visit "Table City" that apparently lies on the border with Creta (which also crosses over with the South Area). Nothing much is known about the Western military command other than that they are the most loyal to Central by being the only ones to send reinforcements on the Promised Day.
-And now for the actual chapter itself. Hm, well, I liked it; as others have said you got Orihime and the FMA characters in character; the citizens' distrust of "state dogs" is understandable; Orihime being kidnapped is rather sudden such that I suspect it is due to others who were informed and thus showed up around the same time the Elric Brothers did. For their identity, I believe it's either someone seeking a healer or Central trying to kidnap someone for their own nefarious interests.
I want to finish by saying that I might try to consult some friends to PM you to discuss things that might not entirely pertain to this story. But I'll have to see how busy I am. For now though, I hope this review will suffice, and I wish you good luck on future chapters! ;D
Interesting and good chapter, and thanks for responding to my previous review (which you're welcome for)! I will cover things point by point:
-For your response to my review, episode 13 or 14 is Greed's gang and just before Ling shows up. Should be interesting. Also, Liore is episode 3 but Nina is episode 4, so this still might be before the "incident" with her.
-Hm, Ichigo and Rukia at the Promised Day? Should be interesting but they are powerful. Only the Homunculi and Father (especially after he absorbs the souls of Amestris and freaking God) could really give them a challenge. I suppose that the Bleach cast hasn't really fought against opponents with firearms aside from Starrk/Lilynette, Gremmy, and Lille Barro. While Orihime has a human body (except when going through a Senkaimon or Garganta which convert their bodies to spiritual matter according to the Bleach Wiki), it remains to be seen if Ichigo and Rukia would be in a form that non-spiritual bullets could hurt. They can't hurt pluses/ghosts after all... Maybe the FMA universe has more affects on Bleach abilities than we know? Other characters, well, Idk as well. They shouldn't be too powerful. Maybe Uryu, Chad, and maybe even Tatsuki (who was originally supposed to be given powers but executives told Kubo to "hurry up and introduce the shinigami" - many fans give her powers similar to a hybrid of Chad and Yoruichi and have her trained by the latter). Chad, Armstrong, and Sig teaming up against Sloth would be interesting.
-Well English is considered the "business" language of the world. The more proper term for such a language is a "lingua franca" (derived from a simplified form of Italian spoken by Renaissance sailors in the Mediterranean). Wikipedia has a whole list of them, though many apply to individual (albeit very populous) countries like China, India, Bangladesh, Indonesia, etc. Others arise from imperial or colonial roots like Arabic for the Middle East and North Africa, Spanish for Latin America and the Caribbean, Portuguese being spoken in Brazil, etc. French, German, and Persian were historically spoken for the areas these empires conquered. Swahili is spoken in many parts of central and eastern Africa. Latin is considered a "dead" language (no alterations being made to it) but is used/spoken by Christian Churches and taxonomic scientists.
For your story purposes, English will work just fine, although the subtitle excuse might be problematic as Orihime already commented on English being the language spoken.
-Okay to hear about Rebecca and your stance on "copyright crusaders". I recommend looking things up on the FMA wiki if you are unsure about their appearance in the series. For instance, the page on Amestris contains a map that you were looking for in your end chapter author note. In fact, it actually states in its legend that "English" actually IS the official language of Amestris! XD (Trivia says that this is the only instance of this being mentioned as no other characters or texts do so.) To summarize, the country is divided into five Areas in the form of Central, East, South, West, and North. Ishval was a sovereign country much like the East, South, West, and North once were before being annexed (invaded, conquered, etc.) and incorporated into the southern portion of the East Area. Incidentally, it is right next to Resembool, so the Elrics and Rockbells should be familiar with the regional affects of the War. Other major cities in the East Area besides East City are Liore, Youswell, and New Opitan. The South Area contains Rush Valley and Dublith. The only city in Central visited in the series is Central City. Fort Briggs lies directly north of North City on the border with Drachma. As the country was meant to be circular for the nationwide transmutation circle, it is implied that the northernmost "indent" is the battlefield where the Drachman soldiers are massacred by the forts' defenses to complete the blood crest. Oddly, the West Area is the only one not directly visited in the series except maybe for the "Sacred Star of Milos" movie where they visit "Table City" that apparently lies on the border with Creta (which also crosses over with the South Area). Nothing much is known about the Western military command other than that they are the most loyal to Central by being the only ones to send reinforcements on the Promised Day.
-And now for the actual chapter itself. Hm, well, I liked it; as others have said you got Orihime and the FMA characters in character; the citizens' distrust of "state dogs" is understandable; Orihime being kidnapped is rather sudden such that I suspect it is due to others who were informed and thus showed up around the same time the Elric Brothers did. For their identity, I believe it's either someone seeking a healer or Central trying to kidnap someone for their own nefarious interests.
I want to finish by saying that I might try to consult some friends to PM you to discuss things that might not entirely pertain to this story. But I'll have to see how busy I am. For now though, I hope this review will suffice, and I wish you good luck on future chapters! ;D
11/24/2017 c3
9Yue in the Stars
*snicker* You captured Orihime down to a T...
All on his jacket... I love it, keep doing what you're doing!

*snicker* You captured Orihime down to a T...
All on his jacket... I love it, keep doing what you're doing!
11/17/2017 c2 Hollow Alchemist
Thank you for the chapter, compliment, and acknowledgement. And I wasn't upset or anything by you calling Orihime "weak". I did say I was amused and was simply elaborating on the different strengths and weaknesses of Orihime ability-wise. And other than the Soul King and Yhwach the only limits to her powers really do seem to be her imagination. Adding a time limit seems as reasonable as having her powers be unable to harm Truth, God, Father, Hohenheim, the Homunculi, and anything else associated with the Gate (the Elric Brothers' missing body parts and Izumi's missing womb). I suppose she might be able to affect things around it, like how Hohenheim was able to redirect the flow of blood around Izumi's missing womb.
In terms of characters being saved, obviously those that have been dead for years like Trisha probably won't be back nor should they. Nina and Alexander are an iffy case as I can't recall when their deaths occurred relative to Liore. You could tweak canon and have them still be made into a chimera but not be killed by Scar, perhaps escaping before he arrives (this means that Ed would still learn the whole "Alchemists aren't gods who can do everything" lesson assuming that their mother wasn't enough). Whether they would still be on the run or get kidnapped by the Government for Experiments I can't tell. It would be weirdly interesting if Nina was turned into a chimera like Greed's Gang or Kimbley's bodyguards. Maybe have her age at an accelerated rate like dogs? I haven't ever really seen all that many authors do much with her if they bother to save her. At the very least, she might be adopted by Hughes so Gracia can have a sister.
As the Promised Day is quite far away, the only major deaths before then are Greed's Gang and Hughes. For the former, not all of them would have to be saved as most of them were fairly minor characters. Only the one inside Al's armor got he most development. Hughes is tricky as he did die "alone" by Envy (so Orihime getting to him would be quite tricky and risky for her), and his death was really quite incremental to the canon plot and Mustang seeking revenge.
I don't expect you to give away too many spoilers, but it will be interesting to see how much you follow what TVTropes refers to as "The Stations of the Canon", and how much you will diverge on things. Regarding what I said about relationships, I actually forgot that Alphonse gets together with Mei! XD Considering the series ending photo where Mei is grown up next to him, I'm not as sure now about breaking them up. What you end up doing is up to you and will still be interesting to see nonetheless.
For this chapter, I find it very neat that you brought up language barriers! Interesting to have Amestris' language be English. Their country is most based off of early 20th century Germany such that that is the setting that is visited in the Conqueror of Shamballa movie of the 2003 series. The only other countries that get shown are Xing (a mix of China and Japan), Ishval (who were somewhat meant to be analogous to the Ainu natives of the Japanese Isles who like the Native Americans and Australian Aboriginals were driven back by non-native invaders like the Japanese and who currently mostly reside on the northern isle of Hokkaido; they also contain aspects of Indian, Middle Eastern, and Jewish culture as well), Xerxes (Persia with other ancient world elements like Greece), Drachma (Russia), Creta (which the FMA wiki states to be like the various countries of North and South America put into one), and lastly Aerugo (which the FMA wiki states to possibly be reminiscent of Italy and Byzantium).
Wow, I get carried away, don't I? Well anyways it is rather sad that only for this chapter did I recall that Rebecca is a canon soldier who is friends with Hawkeye! But anyways if she really is the same character and not an OC then things should get rather interesting. I also imagine that if word of an non-state Alchemist is in Amestris who could become a potential sacrifice if coerced into performing human transmutation would interest the Government to potentially send someone to recruit her.
But now I am getting ahead of myself. For now, we have Orihime showing off some of her abilities and word from you that the Elric brothers will soon show up to check things out. It should all be really neat to look forward to next chapter. I don't really review that many FMA fanfics because to be honest the original series is one of those things that is so "perfect" that no real changes really need to be made to me. I don't read too many crossovers as they tend to become rather awkward or too romance-centric. The one non-crossover fanfic I liked the most was "Truth Revealed" by Fallen Crest, who sadly was harassed into taking down the story by "copyright crusaders". It was essentially a "watching the series" fanfic where the FMA cast was transported into a theater to watch their own show and feel the pain of injuries/death during it. The author made it all the way into the Briggs arc by the time they took down their story. I believe a pdf can still be found if you know where to look. Maybe TVTropes?
Eh, well this review has gone long enough. Good luck with this story and see you later! ;D
Thank you for the chapter, compliment, and acknowledgement. And I wasn't upset or anything by you calling Orihime "weak". I did say I was amused and was simply elaborating on the different strengths and weaknesses of Orihime ability-wise. And other than the Soul King and Yhwach the only limits to her powers really do seem to be her imagination. Adding a time limit seems as reasonable as having her powers be unable to harm Truth, God, Father, Hohenheim, the Homunculi, and anything else associated with the Gate (the Elric Brothers' missing body parts and Izumi's missing womb). I suppose she might be able to affect things around it, like how Hohenheim was able to redirect the flow of blood around Izumi's missing womb.
In terms of characters being saved, obviously those that have been dead for years like Trisha probably won't be back nor should they. Nina and Alexander are an iffy case as I can't recall when their deaths occurred relative to Liore. You could tweak canon and have them still be made into a chimera but not be killed by Scar, perhaps escaping before he arrives (this means that Ed would still learn the whole "Alchemists aren't gods who can do everything" lesson assuming that their mother wasn't enough). Whether they would still be on the run or get kidnapped by the Government for Experiments I can't tell. It would be weirdly interesting if Nina was turned into a chimera like Greed's Gang or Kimbley's bodyguards. Maybe have her age at an accelerated rate like dogs? I haven't ever really seen all that many authors do much with her if they bother to save her. At the very least, she might be adopted by Hughes so Gracia can have a sister.
As the Promised Day is quite far away, the only major deaths before then are Greed's Gang and Hughes. For the former, not all of them would have to be saved as most of them were fairly minor characters. Only the one inside Al's armor got he most development. Hughes is tricky as he did die "alone" by Envy (so Orihime getting to him would be quite tricky and risky for her), and his death was really quite incremental to the canon plot and Mustang seeking revenge.
I don't expect you to give away too many spoilers, but it will be interesting to see how much you follow what TVTropes refers to as "The Stations of the Canon", and how much you will diverge on things. Regarding what I said about relationships, I actually forgot that Alphonse gets together with Mei! XD Considering the series ending photo where Mei is grown up next to him, I'm not as sure now about breaking them up. What you end up doing is up to you and will still be interesting to see nonetheless.
For this chapter, I find it very neat that you brought up language barriers! Interesting to have Amestris' language be English. Their country is most based off of early 20th century Germany such that that is the setting that is visited in the Conqueror of Shamballa movie of the 2003 series. The only other countries that get shown are Xing (a mix of China and Japan), Ishval (who were somewhat meant to be analogous to the Ainu natives of the Japanese Isles who like the Native Americans and Australian Aboriginals were driven back by non-native invaders like the Japanese and who currently mostly reside on the northern isle of Hokkaido; they also contain aspects of Indian, Middle Eastern, and Jewish culture as well), Xerxes (Persia with other ancient world elements like Greece), Drachma (Russia), Creta (which the FMA wiki states to be like the various countries of North and South America put into one), and lastly Aerugo (which the FMA wiki states to possibly be reminiscent of Italy and Byzantium).
Wow, I get carried away, don't I? Well anyways it is rather sad that only for this chapter did I recall that Rebecca is a canon soldier who is friends with Hawkeye! But anyways if she really is the same character and not an OC then things should get rather interesting. I also imagine that if word of an non-state Alchemist is in Amestris who could become a potential sacrifice if coerced into performing human transmutation would interest the Government to potentially send someone to recruit her.
But now I am getting ahead of myself. For now, we have Orihime showing off some of her abilities and word from you that the Elric brothers will soon show up to check things out. It should all be really neat to look forward to next chapter. I don't really review that many FMA fanfics because to be honest the original series is one of those things that is so "perfect" that no real changes really need to be made to me. I don't read too many crossovers as they tend to become rather awkward or too romance-centric. The one non-crossover fanfic I liked the most was "Truth Revealed" by Fallen Crest, who sadly was harassed into taking down the story by "copyright crusaders". It was essentially a "watching the series" fanfic where the FMA cast was transported into a theater to watch their own show and feel the pain of injuries/death during it. The author made it all the way into the Briggs arc by the time they took down their story. I believe a pdf can still be found if you know where to look. Maybe TVTropes?
Eh, well this review has gone long enough. Good luck with this story and see you later! ;D
11/10/2017 c1 Hollow Alchemist
This is interesting, although I'll note that your author notes for this first chapter (while quite nice) are longer than the story part!
For the idea itself, I find it amusing that the individual Aizen described as having almost-god-like reality-bending powers (which really only Father when he made a miniature sun in his hand could compare) is considered one of the only Bleach characters "weak" enough to be placed into the FMA universe. But I understand that Orihime isn't all that combat effective other than a defensive barrier and a fairy swipe.
Even then though, Orihime can bring people back from the dead so long as she has a physical remnant or mental image to work with. What's stopping her from rejecting the Elric brothers' lost body parts? From rejecting their mother's death? Who's to say that any of the major characters who are canonically shown dying (Nina, Greed's gang, Hughes, Fu, Buccaneer, etc.) won't be able to be saved if Orihime is on the scene? Heck, Orihime once considered rejecting the Hougyoku out from existence. She never ended up doing so, but the only actual canon limit established to her powers was the inability to affect the Soul King and Yhwach. I suppose this limit could be extended to the Gate, Truth/God, and Homunculi/Father, but it still will be something rather tricky for you to deal with.
Anyways for this chapter itself why would a girl around her age tell a stranger that she's in Amestris as opposed to a local city/village? Aside from amnesia or kidnapping victims people usually take care to know what country they're in! XD :P
From all this, I'm guessing that Winry might be paired off with Alphonse?
And if it isn't too late (though I think it probably already is), might Nina be saved even if the whole "alchemists aren't gods" thing is important for Ed to learn?
Idk on including more Bleach characters later on as I don't know which Bleach characters of which power levels (like Yamamoto vs Kon) or what point in the FMA timeline (early on vs Promised Day) you would be referring to.
With all that said, I wish you good luck with this story and all else that you do.
This is interesting, although I'll note that your author notes for this first chapter (while quite nice) are longer than the story part!
For the idea itself, I find it amusing that the individual Aizen described as having almost-god-like reality-bending powers (which really only Father when he made a miniature sun in his hand could compare) is considered one of the only Bleach characters "weak" enough to be placed into the FMA universe. But I understand that Orihime isn't all that combat effective other than a defensive barrier and a fairy swipe.
Even then though, Orihime can bring people back from the dead so long as she has a physical remnant or mental image to work with. What's stopping her from rejecting the Elric brothers' lost body parts? From rejecting their mother's death? Who's to say that any of the major characters who are canonically shown dying (Nina, Greed's gang, Hughes, Fu, Buccaneer, etc.) won't be able to be saved if Orihime is on the scene? Heck, Orihime once considered rejecting the Hougyoku out from existence. She never ended up doing so, but the only actual canon limit established to her powers was the inability to affect the Soul King and Yhwach. I suppose this limit could be extended to the Gate, Truth/God, and Homunculi/Father, but it still will be something rather tricky for you to deal with.
Anyways for this chapter itself why would a girl around her age tell a stranger that she's in Amestris as opposed to a local city/village? Aside from amnesia or kidnapping victims people usually take care to know what country they're in! XD :P
From all this, I'm guessing that Winry might be paired off with Alphonse?
And if it isn't too late (though I think it probably already is), might Nina be saved even if the whole "alchemists aren't gods" thing is important for Ed to learn?
Idk on including more Bleach characters later on as I don't know which Bleach characters of which power levels (like Yamamoto vs Kon) or what point in the FMA timeline (early on vs Promised Day) you would be referring to.
With all that said, I wish you good luck with this story and all else that you do.
11/4/2017 c1
3Daoist Sword Saint
Will there be dangai ichigo? (The form before final getsuga)
Nice idea
Can’t wait for next chapter

Will there be dangai ichigo? (The form before final getsuga)
Nice idea
Can’t wait for next chapter