for Fate Overlord (Discontinued)2/3/2019 c10 Archleone
You really need an editor.
You keep referring to Shirou as "she" and "her". I really doubt Clementine knows about Servants, so it was Shirou you were referring to. This isn't the first time you've done it either. And it wasn't just a few times, you do it really often in this chapter especially. It should be "he" and "his". That's some extremely basic English.
I certainly hope it's not intentional. The last thing we need is poorly written fan fiction getting yet more confusing because the writer thinks tumblr is a place of learning and that proper pronoun usage should be discarded. It would lead to every story becoming a confusing mess.
You really need an editor.
You keep referring to Shirou as "she" and "her". I really doubt Clementine knows about Servants, so it was Shirou you were referring to. This isn't the first time you've done it either. And it wasn't just a few times, you do it really often in this chapter especially. It should be "he" and "his". That's some extremely basic English.
I certainly hope it's not intentional. The last thing we need is poorly written fan fiction getting yet more confusing because the writer thinks tumblr is a place of learning and that proper pronoun usage should be discarded. It would lead to every story becoming a confusing mess.
1/19/2019 c16 
5ITalkToSky
I just do not understand why Ainz ool Gown would target Hilma. Since Sebas did not pick up Tsuare, what beef did they have with her? I just cannot think of any reason that they would go out of their way for justice.
5ITalkToSkyI just do not understand why Ainz ool Gown would target Hilma. Since Sebas did not pick up Tsuare, what beef did they have with her? I just cannot think of any reason that they would go out of their way for justice.