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for Defeated

5/27/2019 c1 8Fastred of the North
This is a great, hilarious, woe-is-me piece written in quite the Sauronian style! I love all the references you laced throughout the explain-fic. Terrific job!
1/24/2018 c1 62Sauron Gorthaur
Oh my, hehehe, I’m chuckling quite gleefully, despite the tragic story of my very favorite drama queen – er, ehm, Dark Lord’s – demise. I’ll be thinking about this all day and if I randomly smile or burst into giggles at work, I’m totally blaming you for it :P Seriously though, what a lovely gift, SSF, and thank you so much for writing this little piece in my esteemed namesake’s honor.

Sassy Sauron is sassy :P I just love it when humor fics use Sauron’s sassiness, because it fits perfectly. One of my favorite things about Sauron is his dark sense of humor – it’s delicious to both read and write – and I think my favorite aspect of this story were Sauron’s snide, sarcastic, sassy side-remarks and his colorful descriptions of the other characters in the story.

I also loved the fact that even in defeat, Sauron’s still as arrogant, condescending, and smart-alec as ever! Sure, you’ve clearly over-exaggerated Sauron’s personality for the humor (which works great!), but it’s funny because he *is* this way, a total drama queen, even in the books. His refusal to accept that he might have made a few mistakes along the way and his insistence that he just has the Worst Luck Ever is so like him. I pity everyone within a mile radius of him in Mandos who has to listen to the All The Reasons It Wasn’t Sauron’s Fault rant.

Hehe, I liked his jabs about Lúthien and Huan, and the fact that he clearly isn’t over that whole thing yet. And it does tie in nicely with the Witch-King being offed by Éowyn. But of course, Sauron wouldn’t let on to just how much he understands the indignity :)

Yes, yes, I can totally see Sauron smacking his own forehead over the less-than-stellar intellect of the orcs and rolling his eyes about why Melkor didn’t make them smarter. Oh dear, and the sad thing is, I can actually see the “eating each other” scenario occurring and Sauron just banging his head against the wall like “Why me?!”

YES! The Witch-King prophecy loopholes with anything other than humans – I’m glad Sauron had the sense to realize that the Witch-King isn’t quite as invulnerable as he likes to strut around pretending.

“My old rival Curumo joined me in my quest of bringing order and perfection to Middle-earth. (I still can't see why others called this evil world domination. It was more like guided renovation, you see.)” – I loved your use of Tolkien’s quote from Unfinished Tales to show Sauron’s perspective on this matter. It is definitely my headcanon that Sauron doesn’t think of himself as being the bad guy and really thinks he’s doing the best for Middle-earth in bringing it order. I can see him being genuinely confused and frustrated by all these idiots who are trying to stop him and get in his way.
“Well. How did big wizards come to that lovely land every Tolkien fangirl wants to visit?” Well, well, well, I see Sauron knows our dreams. All-seeing Eye, indeed :D

“Someone would think that he cried because of sympathy for his fellow fallen Maia.” I’m just reading along with this humor fic and chortling and then you throw this at me?! It added that perfect level of poignancy to the whole thing, even as it kept up the humorous façade. But of course Sauron wouldn’t be able to accept that someone might mourn for *him*. IT’S SO SAAAAD! You *are* loved and mourned, Sauron dear, whether or not you believe it.

“I had a growing suspicion that he was called bird-friend because he also had a brain like one.” Heheheh, of course Sauron would go there, of course he would :P Sauron, base master of burns.

“…as a result Elrond himself was 6/16 human, 9/16 elf and 1/16 Maia. Math and genetics, dear people, math and genetics.” Sauron being all snooty about having been around for forever and knowing all the details about peoples’ pasts, ancestry, etc. is hilarious.

“If somebody decided to write a trilogy about me (such a noble pursuit)…” Aw, poor Sauron when he finds out he doesn’t even actually appear in the trilogy named after him…

Sauron would totally laugh hysterically about Curumo being defeated by a bunch of plants. I mean, this definitely *isn’t* the guy who laughed hysterically as the fleet of Númenór sailed to their destruction or anything.

Haha, there really were too many good lines for me to list them all here, but I enjoyed it all immensely and had a delightful morning reading this wonderful piece of humor. Thank you so much for this amusing birthday gift. *Hugs*

Keep on writing, and cheers!

-Sauron Gorthaur
12/22/2017 c1 6Fox-and-opossum-lover
I laughed so hard reading this!
11/10/2017 c1 4bellabaggins
Hahahaha this was hilarious! I love it when Sauron starts talking about his Ring Great job with this... love that the Tolkien fandom has some humor. :)

Belladona Baggins
11/9/2017 c1 3Silverhand19
This was hilarious lol *thumbs up*

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