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for Through the Dark Clouds shining (English version)

2/21 c81 2EisForElephant
This was beautifully written and so informative! I don’t know if someone has already told you this but you could easily change the names and have this published as an original novel. I haven’t read such a well written ww1 novel in a long time!
3/7/2023 c81 Priiya
thank you so much for your story, it was so interesting I just couldn't put it down. It feels like you put so much work in it to make it realistic! thank you again
2/19/2023 c45 1Andrea1984
So so drei Stunden dauern gleich lang wie ein Jahr.

Was für eine Zeitrechnung.

Und warum muss man einen bestimmten Zug nehmen, anstatt jeden Zug nehmen zu dürfen ? Das verstehe ich nicht.

Liebe Grüße

2/19/2023 c22 Andrea1984
Una ? You mean Rilla, mean you ?
Una is, as far as I know, at home in Glen St. Mary ?


1/10/2023 c76 Andrea1984
Da fehlt was: He fifteen.
He was fifteen.

Liebe Grüße

1/10/2023 c68 Andrea1984
Ziegenbärtchen lebt vielleicht noch.
Möglicherweise haben er und Bartlos keinen Kontakt mehr.

Rilla hatte ruhig nachfragen können.

Liebe Grüße
8/24/2022 c62 Andrea1984
Fred Arnold ist der Schwipp-Schwager von Jem. Faith ist die Schwester von Una, also die Schwägerin von Fred.

Liebe Grüße

12/3/2021 c3 audiotrope
While I collect my thoughts on the ending of Hard Luck Stories, I'm reading this chapter again. So many interesting details about the war. The last one about Canadian nurses being officially part of the army is the biggest surprise, but is followed by the words that sound the most like Rilla in canon, that she has her own battles to fight to help the war even if she's not on the front. I don't know if the Duchess of Connaughts hospital existed but whether it didn't, the detail all sounds authentic. Florence Nightingale was a smart woman, if that rumor's true too!

Poor Nan and Jerry. I always wondered if they were engaged before Jerry enlisted. Thanks for giving their relationship much more detail, very suited to Nan. I like Betty for immediately assuming the best of Nan, and of course we know it's true. War babies and marriages were very limited in Rilla of Ingleside, now Jerry, Jen, Faith and Nan are dealing with it, and it's harsh but interesting, as Polly says, strange to think the babies and their fathers might be alive for years but never know each other.
11/28/2021 c2 audiotrope
Reading this was funny because just last week, I was talking to a nurse who told me her reason for sticking with the training, no matter how many times she wanted to quit, was because a high school teacher told her at the start that she would end up quitting the program. Reverse psychology, who'd think it?

The other two nurses are good Rilla foils, knowing nurses, the smoking is all too real.

Diana hates the sight of blood and Nan hates all the other body fluids, it's a good match, and Rilla after taking care of a baby is ready for anything.
11/22/2021 c81 32Feux follet
The first word coming to my mind right now: Congratulations! Congratulations because this story is awesome, so very well documented, and in the same time, so profoundly human, with many details attached to this humanity. In 81 chapters, you showed us war like not many authors did, in a truly realistic and quite emotional way, and for that I'm absolutely grateful.

Which is why the second and third words coming to my mind are "Thank you"! Thank you for all your work, all the searches you did, all the details you included, all the scenes, whether they were hard or joyful. Thank you for giving us this story to read, thank you for allowing us to follow Rilla's footsteps into this hellish mess, to see her strengths and weaknesses, to show us how she could face this, and sometimes not. To show us everyone's reaction too, because if Rilla was the center, you always made a point in giving every other character a proper individuality. Also, thank you for the inspiring moments you gave us in those chapters. Thank you for everything, really. You did an amazing work here, and I admire you for this!

About this chapter, I enjoyed how they talked about their future, Rilla's future especially. I was wondering what would become of her after the war, because even if she is pregnant, and about to have a child, I couldn't picture her being still in a silent house, keeping it and the baby while Ken would be at work. Like I said in the previous review, I thought she would be interested in becoming a private nurse, but this project she have is so much better. I enjoyed seeing the developmment of her ideas, from Dr McIver telling her to become a surgeon, her thinking about being a doctor but frowning at the studies - after being on the "field" for some years, and what a field, it should be hard indeed to come back to university benches to learn about latin, even if it's for becoming a doctor. I don't say it's not possible, just that it would be hard, and wouldn't really correspond with Rilla's character. Also, she points out that she doesn't want to nurse anymore, and the memories coming back to her with the ones she couldn't save ... The promise she's doing to herself, the one about not seeing one more person dying, hit me a lot, because when I was younger and brought to the morgue to see a relative there, I promised to myself I would never see a dead body again - and when I did last year, not by choice though, it made me sick to a very bad point. But here, it also goes along with the project himself. Not letting people die alone, but trying to save them at any cost. You couldn't have choose a better work for her to do.

On another hand, Ken feeling responsible about his men, and thinking about taking the reins of the company like he wanted before, but modeling this project to help the men he had under his commands to find a proper job, and have a decent life, was very moving too. It reminded me about the talk they had when Selina broke up with him. About the fact that they won't come back and be who they were before all of this. It's particularly visible here, because even if he's taking back this project he had before the war, we also see how this experience changed his position and thoughts about it.

The last paragraphs got me, and I started feeling tears rolling as I were reading them. The way Rilla thinks that they'll never be able to forget what happened to them during those years, what they saw, what they lived, and yet that they still have life before them, and ought to live it fully, not only for them but for all the ones who couldn't make it back ... It moved me a lot. And you were right. I don't regret reading this chapter. At first, I regretted a bit that we couldn't see a bit more, like their arrivals, but in the same time, it feels right. Because this story belonged to them, first. We've seen them, accompanied them even, through so much things, and now that they're arriving, it felt right to leave them here, while they're still only the both of them. We can always imagine how they're welcomed home, and it is better this way. To have a soft, simple and very quiet goodbye. Again, it feels right, especially as Canada's lights are starting to be seen, just like dawn of a new era, a new world, and a new journey for them. It's a very hopeful ending, and I thank you for this.

And, again, I thank you for this story. I can't express how much it touched me, moved me, inspired me, helped me. How much I cried and laughed on it. How much I came to love the characters you depicted here - you now I'm not usually a fan of Rilla, but as always, you offered her a lot more of space than in the books, and she became a true human under your pen/keyboard. I'm amazed by the work you did, and can only congratulates you for this, and for everything. I'm glad I was able to read your story, and I can only thank you for sharing it with us. I'll surely re-read it again, for it marked me a lot, and good stories are like friend. You don't live without seeing them again, once in a while.

Thank you for everything. I wish I could express my feelings towards this story better, but there doesn't seem to have enough words to tell you how much it counted, and how much I loved it.
Thank you!
11/22/2021 c80 Feux follet
I can't believe it's coming to an end already. I remember starting this in my holidays, after dramatic moments, and now it's going to end, and I'm starting to heal. But I'll save those thoughts for another moment, sorry. And I'll describe how your story was amazing in the last review :) Now, I'll just enjoy this chapter.

Colette! I was so glad when I saw her name in the first line! And reassured, too. Because it meant that Rilla wasn't coming home alone. The travel she did with Betty and Polly found a true echo here, with her presence. And the fact that Ken isn't always bl to escape his duty on day, and so is partially there was, for me, another echo to this, and to the fact that Betty wasn't coming home. But maybe that's just me! But the fact that they're only two nurses looking at the Atlantic and saying goodbye to Southampton and not three left me with that impression. All the echoes with Rilla's first crossing of the Atlantic were very powerful, and also concrete elements, like the fact that they're not threatened by any boat or submarine or plane, to show that yes, finally, the war is truly over. This war, at least.

I'm so glad for Colette and Maurice! It won't be easy for Rilla to go and see Betty's parents, though. I find it both interesting and deeply moving, to see how you give us news about each plans, whether it is Polly saying she will stay in England, or Colette saying that she's going to Montreal - and Maurice being a tram driver is amazing! - while Rilla will be in Toronto - I'm wondering if, after the birth of her child, she's not going to do the same that Colette, and be a private nurse - and Jem in the Glen. I'm starting to think that they said goodbye to war when they went on this boat, and now they're all starting to look in the future knowing that now, nothing can prevent it from happening, because they're really on their way to meet the tomorrows ... It's also one chapter before the end of the story, and maybe it's me not being good with goodbyes, but it really touched me to see how you wrote this!

As for Colette guessing Rilla's pregnancy, and asking her right away what she feels about it, it was great! We saw many reactions about it already, and each of them offers other thoughts about it, and every time, we also see Rilla moving from anxiety to this start where she's coming to term with it, though she's not afraid to tell that it scares her, and I think it is very brave of her.

Now, the drawings' scene was maybe one of the most powerful of this chapter. I was surprised at first to see that they could share the cabin with everyone knowing about it, but then there was the talking about the drawings and I fell into it. I liked the way you separated Walter and Ken's ways of coping with the horror they saw, the first one trying his best to only see the good, bright moments, and the other, not being able to escape from those visions, drawing them out of him (this picture was truly powerful!). The fact that he let Rilla see them was ... a giant step. Some months ago, he wouldn't have let her see them. It's not only about trust, it's about overcoming the silence which fell on this period, soon after its end. And sometimes, drawings says a lot more than words. The way his mind captured those images and, not being able to get them out easily - who could, really? - to transform them into this art, it's ... It touched me a lot.

As always, thank you for everything. I'm a bit scared to go in the next chapter, knowing it is the last, but I trust you, and I know that, if you felt it was good to leave them, it will be good to read it.
11/21/2021 c79 Feux follet
Oh, that chapter was amazing! I think it's one of the best, equally with Gallou's ones, which says a lot!

First of all, I was glad to see Jem! He's always been one of my favorites characters here, and it was amazing to see him again! I didn't thought they would use a workhouse for a hospital, though. I mean, it doesn't seem right, not after what went on behind those walls. I would share Rilla's apprehension here. It was interesting to see how it goes to those ghosts to Walter's, and then to her own child, though it made me worrying more about her. You do an amazing work on drawing her fears, but I'm glad she can express them out loud, and not be alone with those shadows. I admit, I hadn't expect Jem would be the one to help her here, but it's very well put here, and I enjoyed how they talked.

On a first moment, there was the question about where to go after the war. It really matches with Jem to see him talk about staying in the Glen, where he grew up, where Faith came as a little girl and grew up, where they married, had children, and both worked hard for the community. Also, where his parents are. When he talked about this being his responsibility, it made me think back to their talk in the hospital where Rilla was with the flu. You developed his character greatly here, and it's moving to hear him talk about the Glen as his kind of paradise, and the fact that he wants to rebuild this world. What I loved here is how you showed both of their reactions after war, between him who needs to go back there, and Rilla who needs to flee. For both of them, it seems to be a paradise, but Jem was married and had a child before he left, so it's not as attached to his childhood as it is for Rilla, and the fact that she wants this place to remain untouched by war is understandable.

There was also Di and Mildred's situation. Like Rilla, I thought everybody knew, so I was surprised when Jem didn't understand why Di and Nan weren't just moving together, instead of Di and Mildred looking for a bigger place for them. But in the same time, it brings an interesting thing, and I wonder if he will learn about it. I'm glad for Di and Mildred, though, and for Nan as well.

And there was Walter too, haunting their words and thoughts. It was a very moving talk, about giving his name or not, as a first or middle name or not. It says a lot about their own grief, how they handle it, I think, and also how war will still leaves marks on the future generation, with or without the names of those who passed away there.

But what touched me is how Jem reacted about his sister's pregnancy. At first, like we would imagine he would, between his brotherly's teasing and pride and his work as a doctor. But it slowly slips to a very soft moment between them, where he takes the time to listen at her fears. The fact that it is when they are not facing each other directly but through the glass was a great thing too, maybe it was even more easy for Rilla to talk freely. It must be hard to confess this, when you so often hear and see that other women manages - which, like I said in the previous review, doesn't seem true but as it's often what we hear - but Jem was amazing here, between his reassuring words and his teasing.

And he was even more when he asked her to lie down, and then made her listen at her baby's heart. The way you described the scene was amazing, with Rilla being suspicious at first, and then being without words when she finally hears the heartbeat, and Jem smiling, asking her if it still feels unreal ... It was just perfect, especially after speaking of ghosts, and as we know she listened at heart starting to stop so many times, to have something real like this strong heartbeat must be something so reassuring!

You did an amazing job, and I can't thank you enough for this! I think I'll keep the end for tomorrow ... Yes, I don't want to know the end right now. I still need a bit of time, I'm sorry, but honestly, thank you for every single of your chapters! They were all amazing!
11/21/2021 c78 Feux follet
This chapter was truly good, and its title is absolutely perfect here. As if to answer the worries from the last chapters, there is indeed a lot of kindness here, and support, and jokes which makes the whole chapter very sweet.

I enjoyed the fact that you show how Ken implies himself here, and do everything he can to support Rilla and understand what the pregnancy is, what it means for her, for them. I don't think many fathers-to-be would have done the same for their wife, at that time. At least, it wasn't shown like here. But it's great, and I'm glad he's doing it! Not only it provide a lot of humor - I laughed when Rilla asked him not to read about the abnormal pregnancies, to avoid him checking on her for imaginary sicknesses and problems which could only make them both stress about it - but it also shows just how much he loves Rilla and their child-to-be-born, and how much he wants to be in this. I also enjoyed to see how Rilla replied, with the "you're the clueless, I'm the expert". It added a lot to the scene's tone, and it was very funny to read about.

It doesn't mean that there is no anxiety here, of course, and like in the previous chapter, it particularly hit touched me. I wonder, I think it will be a yes, but I imagine that all mothers have this anxiety before giving birth, at least those questions running, between the "will I be a good mother to them" and the "what if I do something wrong / can't protect them / can't make them happy", is that right? I'm not saying that to say that it's not much, because it is much, for every woman living this, but just to know if it is a feeling often shared. There are so many people saying out there that being a mum is easy, that many doesn't think about it, that it's natural, but I can't help thinking that, like Rilla, I would be terrified at first. And here, Rilla already went through a lot, saw the world being broken, she's lost people she loved, and saw so many suffering that it must be a lot harder to imagine this pregnancy without thinking about all of this. How to offer a better world to her child, how to be sure it will be happy, and safe, and alright? I hope she'll be able to breathe, though, and be reassured too. I think Ken is already doing a great job at it, but maybe she'll be able to talk about it to her mother? It hit me when she thought that Anne had already put the level high on this. Maybe she could reassure her too?

On another hand, I was glad to see Persis so soon again, and even more glad to learn that she was planning to go and visit the world with Tim. Even if he remains a friend, it can be awesome, and I hope we'll get a glimpse of it before the end? If not, that's alright, because if it carries on, then where to stop it, but I like this idea of them going everywhere like that. I was a bit afraid when she told Ken about this, not because of Tim, though it could have been - and was, for a few moments - but because of the idea that she's going away like that. The difference between the time where he was able to ask Rilla if she could discourage her from nursing and now is impressive. I know they also think about their child, and that anyway Ken wouldn't be able to stop her if he wanted to, but it was great to see him coming to terms with her decision so quickly - I think even Persis was surprised. More generally, I enjoyed how you showed Ken and Persis' relationship here, and how close they still are, even if war didn't let them see each other often. You depict siblings' bonds so well, it's always a pleasure to read about them, and this in every of your stories!

As for Persis learning about Rilla's pregnancy, and how she reacted, not allowing Rilla to truly express how she felt about this - though, it makes me think that often, if not always, we all start by congratulating the future parents, and don't usually ask them how they feel about it ... I also wonder if Rilla will be able to tell her worries. Not just to Persis, but to someone else, like her mum or her sisters.

Thank you, as always, for this chapter :)
11/20/2021 c77 Feux follet
This chapter is just amazing. Not because Rilla is pregnant - even if it is absolutely great though terrifying news - but because in a small moment between them, you allowed her to speak, and to do so in the most honest way, along with a Ken allowing her to speak that way, listening at her and helping her to get all this fear out.

At first, I didn't know what you were planning (and it's only now that I remember you telling me that they would go back to their Bretagne's home with their daughter! I feel silly, because of course the previous chapter was another clue, you'll probably laugh when you will have read my previous review!). I was glad Ken was back in England and they could see each other, and be with each other without anyone around. I was glad they could enjoy this time in a proper hotel, and not in a place requested by the army, or marked by the war. The way you described this hotel was like a step in an "after-war" world, where things can slowly come back to normal, even though Rilla wears her uniform.

I admit I smiled when Ken said he wasn't planning to die on her, and she realized she was taking his pulse, holding on to what she did for the last years. This first part in their talk was interesting, maybe because Rilla didn't know how to tell, and with the fear, everything felt ... too big, maybe? I can understand that Ken was confused, especially when she said that maybe they had been too fast on their relationship, but in the same time, I understand Rilla too. Like she said, they didn't have much time together, and even if they clearly love each other, it can't just rely on that, they need to build something strong together, a solid ground and even if it feels as if they started doing it since the beginning, it must be scary to think that now, it's true, war is over and they're together and yet they never properly lived together - I mean, not for a long time. So far, many things between them were linked to the army. In fact, their time in war saw they love for each other growing, blooming, and they made every step of their couple in this environment so far, so ... well, I understand why she's afraid, especially with the announce she's going to make.

Ken must have been relieved when he realized she was talking about having their child, and not breaking up! It was a bit starting to look like this, but no, and I must say that I'm glad for them, though I'm worried for Rilla. Indeed, they were a couple during war, but now they're going to be parents, and it seems as if they didn't really had much time to be a couple, and it must be terribly scary to bring a child in a world you saw being devastated just a few months before, and just to be a mother so early in age and in her relationship, and the fear of not being a good mother, especially as she's not particularly drawn towards babies, it certainly must be scary - I think that's also me panicking and projecting fears I would have at her place here, I'm terribly sorry. Also, the fact that she's afraid she won't be able to protect their child, and we know that in around twenty years there will be another war, and again the skies will turn red is particularly hard. In fact, it's hard to think about all those young people who went to this war, then came back, bruised both morally and physically, but get married and had children nonetheless, were trying to rebuild what had been broken and then once again the world goes mad and ... You just wish you could take them out of this, offer them a peaceful world

In the same time, I was also marked, and deeply touched by how Ken took his time to let her speak and express all of this, and answer her fears as he could. It must have been strange for him, as he seems over the moon and Rilla is on the edge of crying, but he remained kind, and gentle and tried to understand, and for that, he is amazing.

Thank you so much for this chapter!
11/20/2021 c76 Feux follet
When I first read the title of this chapter, I thought you were going to announce that Rila was pregnant, but I liked this version more - though I wouldn't mind Rilla being pregnant, it's just that I was terribly glad to see Polly again. She was one of the first to work with Rilla, and we didn't have the occasion to see much of her since Rilla came to France - which seems like centuries ago. Between the moment they said goodbye, and here, a lot happened - like Betty, or like Polly and Rilla getting married, and Polly having a daughter - and it's a bit awkward at first, something which was showing with the moment it took for them to hug and say hello.
(just a note, can I say I loved the expression "she's been grizzly all day"? In France we can say that someone is like a bear, but not in the same way, so it made me smile)

I hadn't thought about Polly being sent to a relative of her husband - silly me, thinking that a woman can stay alone with a child, what was I thinking (sorry, I'm a bit tired, it's exam period starting, I'm sorry), but the poor one didn't end up with someone very kind. Though, with a name like she have, it mustn't have been easy to grow up, especially hearing the jokes about it. She reminded me about aunt Mary Maria, though, and I can only wish for Polly that her husband will come home soon, for it mustn't be easy everyday, even if she jokes about it. Using more soap, really? There's no end to the cupidity of some people.

I liked the way Polly explained that she wouldn't go back to Canada, even though I can understand Rilla's surprise. I also enjoyed the fact that Rilla asked *her* how this made her feel, because indeed, at first, it was a lot about what the others would feel, and not about what she felt. But if it is somewhere she thinks she can call a home, I think it is the most important thing. What made me smile was how Lizzie interacted to this talk. She reminded me about the daughter of Joy, in your other story, as they seem to have quite a similar temper, even if this Lizzie is younger here.

On another hand, it marked me when Rilla thoughts about who was coming home to Canada and when, and how you ended this thinking with Jerry and Walter not coming back. In a way, I think it explains a bit what happened for Polly, too. They all left something in France, whether it was their youth, their innocence, their relatives, their loved ones, etc. And, looking at this moment with the two crosses which will remain there forever, coming home doesn't seem like the normal thing to do anymore. It's surely the majority, but it's not that evident anymore. It must be terribly hard to go leaving the people you loved and who died behind. I had never really thought about this, but I thank you for exploring it!

I laughed when Rilla started Rosa's story and Polly interrupted her to say that you don't acquire a child - indeed, the formulation is surprising - and jokingly offering her to explain how it worked. I'm sorry for the little one, to think that she's so young and she lost so many people around her already ... But I'm glad she was put in Mildred's care, and can't wait to learn more about it! It must be quite something between Mildred and Di, and like Rilla I'm not afraid for her, she'll know her way through the world! On another aspect of this, it was nice to have those hesitations from Rilla, when she was trying to explain who Mildred was for Di without letting their secret out, because it felt even more realistic.

It was interesting to see this talk going to Rilla's own situation. Since their days in Bretagne, we haven't heard about it - which was absolutely normal, considering what was happening - but now that things are getting calmer, and as it seemed to be an important matter for her at this time, especially with the talk with Gallou's wife, I was wondering if we would hear more about it. I can't help but feel that we're going to hear about it again, before the end of the story, is that right? Or is it just me being tired?

Oh Polly ... It must have been so hard for her, especially as she blames herself for saying they could go there. And the way you said that sometimes, she forgets about it, and want to write to her about something before realizing that she's no longer there ... I think this is the hardest thing, when for a few moments you forget it happened, and then it comes back and hit you even more harder. If I can say this, there is something which I also find deeply important in your story - maybe because I can't explain it to myself and needs to know that I'm not alone feeling this way - is that you often show characters mourning the loss of someone they liked very much, loved like siblings would, but as they're not bond with blood, only by friendship, they tends to say that they're not legitimate to cry and mourn those losses. And the way you write about it, it's just ... thank you. Thank you for putting words on this. And thank you for this last scene.
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