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for Through the Dark Clouds shining (English version)

12/1/2017 c4 14elizasky
I always learn so much from your writing. Thank you for putting the time and effort into getting the details right (and explaining them as well). It seems that it will be Rilla's goal to go over to a CCS (but she is maybe still a bit too young for that?). I'm interested to see that both from a character perspective and because I know you will give us excellent and accurate information about what that would have looked like. I'm almost sorry she won't get there before I need to post some of my wounding chapters — I need that background information (but I'm sure you will tell me when I go too far wrong!). The countdown until Rilla is eligible for such a transfer also gives the story a nice ticking clock, so it has some momentum.

Your Rilla certainly has grown up a lot in these four years. She understands (and seems to like) Miss Talbot, she learned useful French, she doesn't mind scrubbing floors. I wonder if you will ever explain what made her change when she was 15 — this Rilla went to Queen's, but canon Rilla was not on that path, so I am wondering whether you have an explanation in mind or if this is just one of the starting conditions of this AU.

Henri is heartbreaking, of course, but the comfort he took in being able to talk to someone was well done. The part about there being two most beautiful places on earth was very sweet. And the counting how long for younger boys hit me in the feelings.

I like Miss Talbot so far (she reminds me of Katherine Brooke). I don't know whether she and Rilla will become friends, but am am in favor. I still find the term "sister" jarring, but am acclimating to it the more I read.

Loved the reference to Jem's letter and his commitment to poking at her even across a continent while there is a war on. I think that he and this more mature Rilla would have been better friends than they were in canon. I wonder what Rilla's letters to her parents are like. I'll bet Gilbert would like to hear about her work, even if they didn't necessarily approve of her going.

Do post again soon!
12/1/2017 c4 10Excel Aunt
As soon as Miss Talbot mentions the CSS being a great honor to work in, I had to wonder if Rilla will be moved to such a team in the future. There might be plot benefits to have her closer to the front. And oh, wouldn’t her family be worried about her? Especially if you follow the path canon does and Walter dies. Then again, you could then have Rilla and Walter be together so he’s not completely alone when he passes. You see-I really like this idea, and I have no idea if you’ll use it.

I am impressed how detailed and believable your writing is, showing me what an Army Hospital is like and the type of patients and ailments those patients suffer. I was so sad for Henri and his situation. The double leg amputee. How very sad! But Rilla does have the patience of an angel with the young man and I am glad that she not only brought him a margin of peace and comfort but was also able to impress her mentor, Miss Talbot as well.

So here I am at the close of the chapter, saying, “Yippee! I guess Rilla’s goal is to get to France. Time for that promotion to CSS!”

Also, Jem writing Rilla three paragraphs that he can order her around was a very Jem thing to do and a nice detail making this world a bit bigger.

Great job you! I was sad to see the chapter end so quickly.
12/1/2017 c4 47oz diva
I love the way you explain everyone’s rank and the hospitalisation process. My grandfather was a patient in about 1916 having been shot through the buttocks and earlier gassed. And of course sent back when he recovered. He fought in the AIF - Australian Imperial Forces. I know quite a bit about his experiences as I’ve read his diary and letters Home.

Good on Rilla for improving her French, I’m sure it will prove a real asset to her. Interesting that so few nurses had it, surely there would be many French speaking soldiers in the Canadian army.

I’m really enjoying your story, thanks for translating it for us.
11/29/2017 c3 19Alinya Alethia
I’m so glad I wauted until I could carve out time to really read this. You have a gift not only for historical tourism that feels natural, but for characters that are immediately vibrant. Matron, the orderly, even Walker style the helm of the cart. And I appreciate Rilla’s habbit of reading the papers -a link to Ken in the future, perhaps?He certainly gets associated with them enough. Polly and Bettu, as ever, are delightful, from Polly’s Romanticism (which seems to fill the gap Rilla leaves) to Rilla’s more practical outlook -the more I read the more I see Susan in her, and I like it. And I love Connie (or Constance Irene!) for a name for a girl of Nan’s. Much better than all the crosswise familial naming we get from the Blythes are Quoted. Everything about that naming story felt right, even if it was mixed with the realisation Jerry and his daughter hardly know each other. And then the wrestling eith luggage was delightful -but haven’t I done they often! It always wins, too. But here there’s a sense of it preventing their settling. Polly wants to gaze at the trees, Betty wants to unpack, but no one can run to any of that do early in their stay. And I mustn’t forget Polly turning on a fine about Taplow on realising it was near London. That’s whst I mean about vibrant characters. You say so much with so little.
11/28/2017 c3 5OriginalMcFishie
Nan waiting for the perfect wedding is in keeping with just how much this War disrupted lives and changed priorities. Really enjoyed reading about their rank, uniforms and the hospital setting so much so that I've been googling what actually happened and enjoying picturing Rilla there
11/28/2017 c2 OriginalMcFishie
It is really interesting what a difference 4 years makes in people's lives. Of course Jem and Faith are married , but he's still Jem so joins up immediately but with a medical corps. Poor Faith stuck home with 2 babies, a very different war for her. Jerry and Nan married also makes sense. Practical Shirley will make a great engineer. And Walter being a priest surprised me but it makes perfect sense. Oh I like this Rilla. I can see Gil saying give her 2 weeks of nursing within her hearing to push her to make the effort. And I can understand their hesitation and eventually pride in her going over as a nurse. There is something meditative in your writing that I love, cant believe English isnt your native language when you write so beautifully , looking forward to more
11/28/2017 c1 OriginalMcFishie
Wow. I mean really, seriously, wow. I love the idea of an older more mature Rilla. What you've captured with this prologue is beautifully written answer is look forward to what comes before it
11/28/2017 c3 2Kim Blythe
How very impressive and strong and amazing that these girls, these Canadian nurses are officially army officers !

I do think that this is a very sad thought, to know, or think, or imagine that Jerry, Jem and many other male Canadian soldiers, might not be coming back home alive, to see their wives and children again...
11/28/2017 c3 10Excel Aunt
I think I'm going to love following this story of yours, not just because they feature some of my favorite characters, but it is teaching me as well. I don't know much about WW1. What I do know is based on Downton Abbey-and I wouldn't trust it for accuracy as I am trusting you.

I love the name, Constance Irene! I loved how Nan and Jerry are married. But I wonder if Jerry even as a picture of his daughter to look at. I hope that there will be.

And I also liked how you took so much time explaining the uniforms as a perfect lead into Rilla's, Betty's and Polly's commissions in a real army! I never knew!
11/28/2017 c3 14elizasky
You did a lot of excellent exposition in this chapter without ever making it too onerous. I'm sure you are brimming to tell us 1,000 things, but you showed good restraint here and just told us what we needed to know. It's always useful to have a character like Betty who doesn't know everything but is willing to ask. I did laugh at them spending so much time talking about the clothes, but at least I will be able to picture them very clearly from now on!

Since the nurses are officers, how are enlisted men supposed to interact with them? Do they salute them? Even patients? And are officers allowed to visit enlisted men in the hospital (Rilla going to see Jerry, though I guess I don't know his rank in this universe)?

I was glad to see Jerry as a lawyer here. I quite agree! He is good about details. The bit about Nan waiting too long was in-character as well — it is wonderfully human that those two always feel that they have all the time in the world, and you have given a clever explanation for why thy are still short on time even when they have four extra years. I loved the little bit about Nan and Di — practical Di nicknaming her niece and Nan not being too pleased. That's a fun dynamic between them. (I think we are in agreement about a lot of these characterizations — my Nan was not very pleased with Di naming their house either. And it was an Aster/Astor pun! Our universes must be next-door neighbors.)

I feel as though I am going into the rest of this story armed with lots of useful information now. Don't keep us waiting too long for the next chapter!
11/24/2017 c2 2Kim Blythe
Oh yeah, you are right, Rilla is just has stubborn as her mother were, was and is...

Going into nursing school, and staying there, and keeping up with all the bad and the good parts of it, to prove herself and her parents, that she could and that she can become a nurse !

And to prove them wrong as well, with them saying that she would probably be back home in December...

Jem and Faith are already married with two little kids, Ian and Sara ! Does that mean that Faith did not become a nurse and stayed home with the kids while Jem went off to war ?

Nan is married with Jerry as well ! Jerry is off too war and Nan is station at ?

Carl is sailling de seven seas with the Royal Navy !

Shirley is an engineer ! Somewhere in France !

What about Di ? And Una ?

But, the thing that most intrigued me, is knowing that Walter as become a priest ! I can't help but wonder if it was a calling from when he was young, or did he decided to become a priest, when he knew that he could never have Faith as a wife, and decided on celibacy and becoming a man of the church after that ?!

Oh, and another thing that I do wonder, what about Ken ? Rilla does not seem to be thinking about romance so much and she hasn't mention him or his name once during this chapter...

Again, I cannot thank you enough for having decided on translating your story in english !
11/24/2017 c1 Kim Blythe
What was my surprise when I was reading your review for Elizasky's story Dispatches tonight, with me going to click on your name to have the realisation that you have indeed started to translate your story Through the dark clouds shinning in english... ( You have no idea how disappointed I was to not be able to read this story in german, because I do not speak or read any german at all).

So, this is why I thank you and congratulate you for having made this move and this choice of deciding to translate from german to english !

And I also have to welcome you into doing something like this, writing in another language that is not your own (Hi, I am doing the same with my own story, and my first language is french), this is why I welcome you and admire you, because I know that writing in another language, it is not an easy thing to be doing !

Now, for an actual review of this very first english chapter of yours :

Wow, Rilla as a nurse, I would have never thought of something like this !

But, I do love to read stories that are different then the other stories !

And for this prologue, I do wonder, is it Walter that Rilla is watching being buried ?

Or Jem ?

Or Ken ?

Or any other one of the guys, men that she knows ?
11/21/2017 c2 19Alinya Alethia
Well I’ve bobbed up from podcasting and love Polly and Betty already. I’m struck at once by Rilla wanring to set herself apart from her sisters, it rings so true of a large fa i,y, and it’s a very Rilla reason for pursuing anything. I love what she says about the sea too, it gets in your blood, I think, so that you can’t do without it. I had yo laugh over elevators though. They’re paternoster lifts at this point in history, aren’t they? I can’t blame her wanting to avoid them. I was on one once, under duress. Never again!

I want very much to get to know these versions of Rilla’s siblings too. How did Walter end up Catholic, and a priest at that? I suits him though. I wonder, will you have him a Chaplain here is propper soldier? That must have taken a propper wrangling of conscience if it’s the latter, but I’d love yo find out.

Rilla on Children is still very much Rilla, I see. Some things are inviolate whatever the universe. It makes sense though that she’s lost her sense of romance by now -so had Anne at 21, albeit for different reasons. Speaking of which though, I did like the bit of parental conflict you gave us. Rilla is the Ingleside baby, naturally no one wanted yo tuck her, or subject her yo the trials and tribulations about nursing. But the girl that brought Jims up by hand absolutely would stick all of those out.

And I appreciate the humour you give these girls, their zest and colour. It keeps the story bright when it could so easily sink, like the Lusitania. Wonderful work.
11/21/2017 c2 1Andrea1984
It's true: Walter is a catholic priest. No joke.

Cu

Andrea
11/20/2017 c2 14elizasky
This is fascinating. I've re-read a couple of times trying to pick up on all the details and clues about where everyone is in this 4 years universe. Of course Jem is a doctor - that makes sense. Faith must be chomping at the bit, stuck at home. And thank you for re-naming Jem & Faith's kids - I have rolled my eyes pretty hard at the canon Jem Jr. and Walter and am nodding in agreement with your choice to do better. Your description of Nan haunting the place with Jerry wounded was just right. I'm glad someone else thinks Shirley is an engineer (I confess I have him so in my notes as well). "Polite incomprehension" was delightful.

But hold on a minute. A priest! A CATHOLIC priest! There better be some explaining and I am looking forward to it. I can see Walter being dramatic enough to be seduced by the Church (and vows of celibacy appealing as a grand gesture of self-sacrifice). But if Anne and Gilbert were skeptical about Rilla becoming a nurse, I am dying to hear what they thought when Walter became a Catholic! (Secretly, I have always suspected that Anne would love incense and candles and Latin, even if the theology might not impress her.) Can we have a scene of Walter debating with John Meredith? Pretty please?

Now, to the big things. Betty and Polly: delightful. I was a little bit sad when they were so interested in boys because I was already planning to ship them, but I'll keep an eye on the situation. I loved that Betty was smoking - something I have to remind myself to put in this period. They both seem like jolly companions and I'm glad Rilla will have some friends in this.

At first, I was thinking that this Rilla was much more focused and confident than canon Rilla, and I was going to ask you how she got that way. In RoI, it's the war that makes her grow up - what's the backstory here? But then you got to the part about her staying in nursing school out of sheer stubbornness, and I thought "There's our girl." That's Rilla of the green hat and the raising-an-orphan-to-spite-everyone's-low-expectations. She does seem much less romantic, which is an interesting choice - I am intrigued to see where you take this new version of Rilla.

Surely those girls are fairly safe, 15 months after the Lusitania. They're in the sweet spot of U-Boat restrictions, aren't they?

Thanks for posting this and I look forward to more.
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