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5/20 c1 DE10-Riley
"I heard you," I said. I turned onto my back, sliding my upper-half under the stainless steel sink and wiggled the heavy drainpipe. A low, angry gurgling came from it. "I am ignoring you. See this? This is me pretending you're not here."

Jasmine snickered and very deliberately moved the flashlight beam down, leaving me in the dark. "How's that working for you?"

"Not well," I muttered. Through the gurgling I thought I could hear a trickle of water, so at least the thing wasn't totally clogged. Water was getting through. I grabbed the wrench and felt with my fingers.

That was my favorite part of the entire chapter. It really sets the tone for what their firendship is like and it makes me giggle every time I read and re-read it!
4/27 c4 DE10Riley
Just spending my time re-reading some of my favorite fics and this is the first one that I came back to. The very first one. Because I still absolutely love the way this is written. You get right into the essence of what makes Ash, Ash and the thing is, you can still see that there's plenty more of her that's coming because we need to see her as a vampire, we need to see her in danger as a vampire, we need to see how things work out with Aiden. And how her relationships with Josh and Sally will play out because they're important to everything as well.

But more importantly, what continues to bring me back to this, is how refreshingly real Ash is. Everything that she's about, everything that she is, is palpable and feels like a real person and a real friend. It's obvious the love and care you've put into this and I can only hope to read more soon! :)
12/25/2019 c1 missjanuarylily
Okay, I'm going to try to review this again (because #ocficmas...but we'll see if it lets me...I'll probably have to do it on guest. haha) "My name is Ash Mallory. I made a mistake." I love those lines. They always make me smile. I love how you start building Ash's story and then the end of the chapter, bam! That's escalated quickly. haha (I knew it was coming. lol) Thanks for writing Ash's story and sharing it! Kudos! #ocficmas
12/19/2019 c4 Twilight016
I’ve seen your edits on tumblr for a while and decided to finally check out your story for missjanuarylily’s oc ficmas. Loved the descriptions and suspense of these chapters. Very interested to see how the relationship develops and what adventures await.
12/8/2019 c1 OC Ficmas Guest
Another fandom I have never read a fanfiction for. This opening was everything one could ask for though in a Being Human fanfiction. Your descrips were marvelous. Your ending left me feeling as eviscerated as Ash. Lovely work. #ocficmas #trytopayitforward
3/6/2019 c4 TheLittlestMunchkin
Your chapter is to short, you get us into the story and then sorry folks that it for now. Okay in all seriousness I like this chapter, she’s not dead she just doesn’t have a heartbeat
3/2/2019 c4 41ocfairygodmother
I really love the description you give to her thought process on what is happening. LOVE it! :) I'm not sure that I would like all that happening to me. haha. There's the crux of it all! haha. What a thing to try to come to terms with! Yeah, a bathroom isn't the place you'd expect to be. Not with everything on TV, movies, or books. She's right. You'd expect some place creepy. Hahahahah! I love how you write her. I love that she KNOWS but does it anyway. I love that while this scene is quite emotional, you are able to insert some appropriate humor into things. You are killing (in a good way) this chapter! It's a crazy thing to try to come to terms with. She's got a fair point there. haha. Ouch. That's a bit blunt. haha. Again, kinda ouch. I really enjoyed this chapter, Day! I thought you did a fantastic job with it! Thanks for taking the time to share it with us! :)
3/1/2019 c4 341DarkElements10
Okay, I laughed out loud when I read the part of her breathing in the harsh scents of the shampoo then immediately blamed herself for it. And, I also LOVE the fact that Aidan's shampoo/body wash is the only one she can stand the smell of. It really is a good way to show not only their destinies now being intertwined, but it also talks about Ash's financial status from before, being able to tell the cheap ones with the terrible perfume dyes, even with her new powers of being a vampire.

All in all, I really do like how you do you take of first person writing. The other's I've read (and have written myself) tend to overload with sentences starting with 'I' and don't go much into showing the thoughts, feelings, and senses of the main character. Great job with this addition, the wait was well worth it.

1/3/2019 c3 4KatieBees
Love it! This is such a great start to the story. Ash is really well written and feels like a believable character. Her struggle as a new vampire, and all the chaotic emotions surrounding her situation are very well done. I could feel her hesitation and her pain. Aiden's unyielding resolve felt in character.

I can't wait for the next! Thanks for writing!

9/8/2018 c3 41ocfairygodmother
Sorry that it's been so long since I last reviewed this. But I am here to remedy that. I really loved this chapter and how you characterized Ash. You could sense her "newborn" instincts and feelings through your writing. You really felt her pain and felt for her. I really loved Aidan this chapter, trying to be there for her and teach her-look after her. Gah! I mean, I've shipped these two since before I ever read this story but I'm in hardcore shipping mode now. I really loved their interactions. And Ash-she's reacting to the situation quite realistically. Great chapter, friend! Thanks for your hard work! Love ya! :)
7/18/2018 c3 341DarkElements10
I really liked how you described her want for blood as well as the explanation of why she needed it so badly. But it was visceral, her crave and hunger for it. That was so well done. I applaud you for it. So, knowing what I know from tumblr of Ash and Aidan, I checked out the genre this story is in, saw it was suspense and realized right then and there it's the perfect genre for the story to be in because you put good endings to chapters ON EVERY CHAPTER.

I somewhat struggle with this considering for The Flash I have to do fast-paced action as well as slowed down character moments and wonder if my endings are dull, so I'll take a page from your book while I work on my next chapter. Really, this was great and I can't wait for more.

7/18/2018 c2 DarkElements10
You did it again. You keep things paced so well and what you also do that I think is great is that you give little details of the setting but don't go so overboard that it's easy to be in the moment and figure out what's going on, rather than be beat over the year with it. I think the interaction with Ash and Aidan...? Aiden? (Runs to google), Aidan! was great, nice and mysterious for a first encounter, especially when he turned her, still showing her emotion in what her final moments would be. Amazing job!
7/18/2018 c1 DarkElements10
You know, I'm not quite sure where to start with my review because there's so much to say! I actually really loved this introductory chapter, you gave us everything that's needed; characters with distinct personalities, backstory that's not too clogged down, explanation to say where things are and why they're happening, a good pace, crisp and entertaining dialogue, tension, and a great cliffhanger. I'm actually upset I haven't read sooner, despite not knowing much about Being Human at all, though I may start to watch it now because of this. Your writing keeps things smooth and flowing naturally, and I'm already eager to read the rest of the chapters you have for us.

The only thing I'd note is that because the very beginning of the chapter is at a different timeframe and is a sort of 'voice over' I'd put it all in italics to differentiate it from the rest of the story.

5/23/2018 c1 8SusieSamurai
Realised I never left an actual review for this, just that fic rec lol oops!
God I love the way you write. Few people can write first-person and write it well. Your characters are always enjoyable narrators and it’s so easy to put yourself in their shoes. That personality always shining through.
Your grasp on description was spot on! Not too much, but not too little. And that ending man! Poor poor Ash.
Like her I probably would’ve have made that same choice...and then instantly regretted it!
3/11/2018 c3 TheLittlestMunchkin
Great job
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