for The Ninja Overlord Part 1: Rise of an Overlord!4/15/2020 c17 TheAvengerOfDeath
for the fox issue, change it from the second Hokage disliking all foxes/kitsune to where the ninken do. Just have Tsume explain how keeping the two kitsune would rile up the pups too much.
For the girls, just have someone/something suggest for Naruto to hide them, perhaps with the minions.
For the minion gates, that could be simple. In the overlord lore the gates were portals powered by magic IIRC. You could go by the logic that since they don't directly pass through the perimeter of the barrier, they won't be sensed. Or perhaps the barrier can only affect things that traverse above ground, so people like Itachi and Orochimaru just used those secret underground tunnels.
Hope this helps!
for the fox issue, change it from the second Hokage disliking all foxes/kitsune to where the ninken do. Just have Tsume explain how keeping the two kitsune would rile up the pups too much.
For the girls, just have someone/something suggest for Naruto to hide them, perhaps with the minions.
For the minion gates, that could be simple. In the overlord lore the gates were portals powered by magic IIRC. You could go by the logic that since they don't directly pass through the perimeter of the barrier, they won't be sensed. Or perhaps the barrier can only affect things that traverse above ground, so people like Itachi and Orochimaru just used those secret underground tunnels.
Hope this helps!
4/15/2020 c17 38Solaire38
Thank you for letting us know about the hiatus on the story, not gonna lie when I read the chapter title I thought you were abandoning the story or something. This is a much better alternative and I eagerly await for when this story is off hiatus, keep up the good work!
Thank you for letting us know about the hiatus on the story, not gonna lie when I read the chapter title I thought you were abandoning the story or something. This is a much better alternative and I eagerly await for when this story is off hiatus, keep up the good work!
4/15/2020 c17 The God of Perverts
Idk if the barrier would pick up the minion gates since the barrier is meant to stop people from jumping over the walls of the village or going under them. Since the gates just kind of pop up, you should be in the clear. If there was some type of alarm, it would go off every time someone did a summon. As for the foxes why not have them as a ninja partner like Akamaru (idk if you did this or not since its been a minute since I read this). For the girls they should be introduced when Naruto has the strength to protect them. If you plan to have him leave the village to get stronger, they could go with him and become strong enough to protect themselves and each other.
Idk if the barrier would pick up the minion gates since the barrier is meant to stop people from jumping over the walls of the village or going under them. Since the gates just kind of pop up, you should be in the clear. If there was some type of alarm, it would go off every time someone did a summon. As for the foxes why not have them as a ninja partner like Akamaru (idk if you did this or not since its been a minute since I read this). For the girls they should be introduced when Naruto has the strength to protect them. If you plan to have him leave the village to get stronger, they could go with him and become strong enough to protect themselves and each other.
4/15/2020 c17 
2Silver-Dragon66
Does the barrier go underground? if not then you could use some deep tunnels.
2Silver-Dragon66Does the barrier go underground? if not then you could use some deep tunnels.
4/15/2020 c1 Azrael810
I have read a few stories pionting towards the barrier being old uzumaki fuinjutsu usualy the work of lady Mito. let us not forget that the uzumaki, Ashina in particular as thier leader played a large part in the founding of konoha as such they had something of a presence there from it's very beginning.
I have read a few stories pionting towards the barrier being old uzumaki fuinjutsu usualy the work of lady Mito. let us not forget that the uzumaki, Ashina in particular as thier leader played a large part in the founding of konoha as such they had something of a presence there from it's very beginning.
4/15/2020 c17 woodzrox
I remember reading one fanfic where the barrier was based on/created by Uzumaki seals (I checked the wiki, no mention of it's creation whatsoever). So if you go that route, one of his clan members was paranoid and snuck in a Uzumaki blood linked ignore list or master override or something. Hope this helps!
I remember reading one fanfic where the barrier was based on/created by Uzumaki seals (I checked the wiki, no mention of it's creation whatsoever). So if you go that route, one of his clan members was paranoid and snuck in a Uzumaki blood linked ignore list or master override or something. Hope this helps!
3/19/2020 c4 3Arcane Bibliophile
I think I hate you a little. brilliant writing! very compelling and excellent descriptions. this was just hard for me to read.
3Arcane BibliophileI think I hate you a little. brilliant writing! very compelling and excellent descriptions. this was just hard for me to read.
1/5/2020 c16 Energizing Entry
I feel like I'm reading multiple stories jumbled together just for progression
I feel like I'm reading multiple stories jumbled together just for progression
11/22/2019 c7 Nanox876
The story you're thinking of was made by TheWriteFiction.
The story you're thinking of was made by TheWriteFiction.
11/7/2019 c4 Bonestar
Odd, from what I remember, it was Danzo who subtly spread rumors with the Root ANBU that Naruto was the Jinchuriki.
Odd, from what I remember, it was Danzo who subtly spread rumors with the Root ANBU that Naruto was the Jinchuriki.
10/18/2019 c16 1gunzen
In a span of 23 months, you have written down 16 chapters, averaging little less than 10k words per chapter.
Readers have to read 10k words, which are mostly rehashes of canon, wait 45 days for the next 10k word chapter.
So in those 45 days, how much of the previous chapter(s) have your readers forgotten to read about? How long does it take to read a 10k chapter?
The first few chapters have already been tediously boring, and repetitive. Still you plough on, not caring how dfficult it is for your readers to reacquaint themselves with your story again, after a long time wihout updates.
Heck, only 10% of your chapters are worth reading. The remaining 90% are tedious rehashings, tedious datailing, tedious everything.
How much time would it take for a reader to read, say, 40k words, because they forgot the contents of your story, then add 10k more words for the new chapter? I'll say it again. Its very hard for your readers to reconnect with your story. How much time will it take per chapter to familiarize myself with your story again? The very frustrating part is too many details, which are useless, and unecessary to the furthering of the plot.
1gunzenIn a span of 23 months, you have written down 16 chapters, averaging little less than 10k words per chapter.
Readers have to read 10k words, which are mostly rehashes of canon, wait 45 days for the next 10k word chapter.
So in those 45 days, how much of the previous chapter(s) have your readers forgotten to read about? How long does it take to read a 10k chapter?
The first few chapters have already been tediously boring, and repetitive. Still you plough on, not caring how dfficult it is for your readers to reacquaint themselves with your story again, after a long time wihout updates.
Heck, only 10% of your chapters are worth reading. The remaining 90% are tedious rehashings, tedious datailing, tedious everything.
How much time would it take for a reader to read, say, 40k words, because they forgot the contents of your story, then add 10k more words for the new chapter? I'll say it again. Its very hard for your readers to reconnect with your story. How much time will it take per chapter to familiarize myself with your story again? The very frustrating part is too many details, which are useless, and unecessary to the furthering of the plot.
7/21/2019 c1 Guest
When is karma joining the party. when is Naruto going punish those who do horrible things to him and when is the old Hokage figures out that he altered narutos mind and personality will only cause major consequences to him and konoha
When is karma joining the party. when is Naruto going punish those who do horrible things to him and when is the old Hokage figures out that he altered narutos mind and personality will only cause major consequences to him and konoha
7/15/2019 c16 23FenreldStormblade
interesting way to bring Sarada, Chocho, and Himawari to this universe... I like the portal idea. Himawari unintentionally spilling the beans was a nice touch too. keep it up
23FenreldStormbladeinteresting way to bring Sarada, Chocho, and Himawari to this universe... I like the portal idea. Himawari unintentionally spilling the beans was a nice touch too. keep it up