for Fairy tail next gen with a bit of time travel2/11/2018 c5 
3May525
I don't know who Moana is... Anyways, I do like your idea and the current plot you have. Thought the exchanging power thing with Evergreen and Elfman's kids didn't really make sense to me... All I really understood was, they started looking different... And I didn't really see the point to that... On another note, I think your spellings good, though your grammar could use some work. And just to let you know, sometimes I find it a little hard to figure out who's taking. I also still have some trouble figuring out what character has what name... Though I, think, I know most of them... Maybe? Ya... Again I like the idea and plot you're going for. I also think your fanfic has potential to be pretty good.
3May525I don't know who Moana is... Anyways, I do like your idea and the current plot you have. Thought the exchanging power thing with Evergreen and Elfman's kids didn't really make sense to me... All I really understood was, they started looking different... And I didn't really see the point to that... On another note, I think your spellings good, though your grammar could use some work. And just to let you know, sometimes I find it a little hard to figure out who's taking. I also still have some trouble figuring out what character has what name... Though I, think, I know most of them... Maybe? Ya... Again I like the idea and plot you're going for. I also think your fanfic has potential to be pretty good.
2/11/2018 c4 May525
I still like the idea you're going for. Though again, I think it would be great if you described how they were feeling. Like, their emotions and stuff. Also describing the area around them would be good too, even if we know their in the guild or something. It's always good to add extra detail. It also helps the reader to picture/imagine what's happening better, therefore should help the reader to enjoy your fanfic better, in my opinion.
I still like the idea you're going for. Though again, I think it would be great if you described how they were feeling. Like, their emotions and stuff. Also describing the area around them would be good too, even if we know their in the guild or something. It's always good to add extra detail. It also helps the reader to picture/imagine what's happening better, therefore should help the reader to enjoy your fanfic better, in my opinion.
2/11/2018 c3 May525
Blazer, Pira(P-ie-ra), Irona, Juely(J-oo-ly), Carder? Not sure if those are good or not, but I guess those are my suggestions for names.
Blazer, Pira(P-ie-ra), Irona, Juely(J-oo-ly), Carder? Not sure if those are good or not, but I guess those are my suggestions for names.
2/11/2018 c2 May525
Oh ya! Shouldn't they also tell the Master about the dark guild? Their members and future doings? Maybe they could be children of past foes from Natsu's generation... Also I think I like Aquamarine's name, Amber's too(Natsu and Lucky's daughter?), though I don't think I'm really fond of the name Gold or Forest... Yet anyways. I'm also having a little trouble figuring out the names... Though I think I'm slowly getting there? I also think you should add how the characters(Future and past) are feeling about the situation. Like, do they believe the future mages? Do they feel nervous, scared? Proud? Disgusted, flustered, happy? And, ya, I think that's all for now...
Oh ya! Shouldn't they also tell the Master about the dark guild? Their members and future doings? Maybe they could be children of past foes from Natsu's generation... Also I think I like Aquamarine's name, Amber's too(Natsu and Lucky's daughter?), though I don't think I'm really fond of the name Gold or Forest... Yet anyways. I'm also having a little trouble figuring out the names... Though I think I'm slowly getting there? I also think you should add how the characters(Future and past) are feeling about the situation. Like, do they believe the future mages? Do they feel nervous, scared? Proud? Disgusted, flustered, happy? And, ya, I think that's all for now...
2/11/2018 c1 May525
I like the idea you're going for. Though there are things that bother me, both in small amounts and large. First, I find it hard to imagine and/or picture the future Fairy Tail mages. There wasn't much detail on their characters, such as looks mainly(their faces, were they sharp, round? Like one of their parents? Were they fit/skinny/lean/chubby/short/tall? What were they wearing? How were they wearing it?), I also think it would be good if you described their actions too. Such as, what were they doing in the chapter? Standing with a hand on their hip, smiling, frowning, smirking? How and/or what where their poses/actions? I also think you could describe how they(the future children) got to the past in the first place. It would be pretty helpful to know, and I think it would also add story. Also there isn't really a connection with the characters yet(the future mages.), besides what we know of their parents. What I mean by connection is, we(the readers) don't really know who the kids(future mages) are, and because of that we(the readers) probably wouldn't really care about the characters health/life. Example, if one of the future mages ever got hurt we(the readers) probably wouldn't really care. Unless you gave us(the readers) a reason to care. Witch is why it's good to build character. And also why I think it would be good to maybe have some scenes about their past, though you dont need to, just an idea. Actually, this is the first chapter, so you probably don't need to do the character connection thing just yet... Though it would be kinda cool if they hid their identities for a little while... I also think they would, or should, try to change as little as they needed too, just in case they ended up changing way more than they meant too, and then maybe even ending up not being born. Because I'd personally probably try not to interfere too obviously, I mean, what if I changed something big in a bad way? Anyways, I think they should at least hide some things from everyone, I mean, it's probably not a good idea to tell them about certain things like parentage willy nilly like it's no big deal. Though revealing things like that to the Master makes sense. And on a personal note, I don't really like the names, I'm not sure exactly why, but I think it might be because their names are colors and jewels?... Ya, I think that's all...
I like the idea you're going for. Though there are things that bother me, both in small amounts and large. First, I find it hard to imagine and/or picture the future Fairy Tail mages. There wasn't much detail on their characters, such as looks mainly(their faces, were they sharp, round? Like one of their parents? Were they fit/skinny/lean/chubby/short/tall? What were they wearing? How were they wearing it?), I also think it would be good if you described their actions too. Such as, what were they doing in the chapter? Standing with a hand on their hip, smiling, frowning, smirking? How and/or what where their poses/actions? I also think you could describe how they(the future children) got to the past in the first place. It would be pretty helpful to know, and I think it would also add story. Also there isn't really a connection with the characters yet(the future mages.), besides what we know of their parents. What I mean by connection is, we(the readers) don't really know who the kids(future mages) are, and because of that we(the readers) probably wouldn't really care about the characters health/life. Example, if one of the future mages ever got hurt we(the readers) probably wouldn't really care. Unless you gave us(the readers) a reason to care. Witch is why it's good to build character. And also why I think it would be good to maybe have some scenes about their past, though you dont need to, just an idea. Actually, this is the first chapter, so you probably don't need to do the character connection thing just yet... Though it would be kinda cool if they hid their identities for a little while... I also think they would, or should, try to change as little as they needed too, just in case they ended up changing way more than they meant too, and then maybe even ending up not being born. Because I'd personally probably try not to interfere too obviously, I mean, what if I changed something big in a bad way? Anyways, I think they should at least hide some things from everyone, I mean, it's probably not a good idea to tell them about certain things like parentage willy nilly like it's no big deal. Though revealing things like that to the Master makes sense. And on a personal note, I don't really like the names, I'm not sure exactly why, but I think it might be because their names are colors and jewels?... Ya, I think that's all...