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6/11 c32 2baud001
properly grimdark.

Though the name of one of Sanguinius' sword changed between the start and the end of the chapter
6/10 c41 OldKarlFranz
Just finished reading chapter 41. Wow, great job. Loved the fic. I hope you keep going.
6/9 c30 baud001
nice play with the Harlequins and Enuncia
6/8 c41 2theklicktator
How fun!

Thanks for another great update to a great story!
6/6 c41 rylek196
You sure are a stubborn piece of shit, aren’t you? STILL keeping it up with the boilerplate reviews, I mean, even when it’s clear they don’t fucking work. At least *I* make an effort to differentiate my reviewvertisments from each other, AND I know they actually WORK, seeing as how my view count has seen a notable uptick since I started doing them.

*sigh* I don’t know what will get to you to quit, though, short of caving your head in with a heavy, blunt object. Even then, I’m worried whatever I used would just bounce off your thick skull. Ah, well. If blunt force trauma doesn’t work... you’re just not using enough, as the saying goes. ;) Now, where was I? Ah, yes...

Since I KNOW a lot of people are gonna be here from the Pokemon section, due to this asshole’s uh, ‘adventures’ there, to put it charitably, how about y’all curl up with a good story by yours truly? It’s called Long Way to Fall, my novelization of Pokemon White, the best dang adaptation of said game that there ever was!

It’s got everything you could want from a novelization or story in general: great characters that develop organically through their respective arcs, amazing action scenes (which have been a ton of fun for me to write, btw), great location descriptions, a healthy fleshing out of the lore and backstory of Unova, and many additional scenes that aren’t in the game to truly make it a cohesive story!

It’s tricky to keep track of all the plot threads at times, I admit, but there’s a special kind of satisfaction that comes with paying off something you set up five, six, or even ten or MORE chapters previously. So I hope you’ll join me on this incredible adventure I’m undertaking. Adapting Unova and bringing it to life is truly a pleasure and a privilege, and I feel honoured that I’m the one doing this. Meanwhile, all this filthy, disgusting bit of pond scum should feel is utter shame. Shame, for spamming so many innocent writer’s stories, many of whom were actually good, and shame for lacking even the slightest bit of awareness that he was doing more harm than good. At least I only target shit-fic writers and genuine rule-breakers- I.E. the guilty who actually DESERVE it. You, on the other hand, just toss out your boilerplate bullshit without rhyme or reason. So, to wrap up, fuck you, and rot in hell.

P.S. There are two stunningly obvious typos on your profile, and I’m simultaneously amazed and not that you didn’t catch them. You should be using ‘their’ in that sentence, you dolt, not ‘there’, as in, ‘over there’. Also, I’m *pretty sure* the slur for Germans in WW1 was ‘hun’, not ‘han’. How the fuck you screwed up a three-letter word is beyond me, and I’m DEFINITELY sure you missed *that* particular racism boat by about... oh, over a hundred years. :P I hope you realize how ludicrous and behind-the-times that line on your profile makes you look. Somehow, I doubt it alright...
6/4 c1 Skirnir
In response to the comments of "Guest", "Militar fan" and "Gentleman of Memes" who are one and the same person:

The Cult of Outrage returns.

If you are going to charge the warhammer-windmill again and make another attempt at "critique" then at least do as i suggested to you last time and read the fic, Khorne damnit. Literally everything you complained about either the fic itself or established lore explains.

And i won't even touch on posting three page-filling comments on the same day with three different accounts. It is not very subtle if all three comments use the same rethoric, the same signal-words repeatedly, and most tellingly the same reddit-formatting.

We get it that you hate everything and everyone to do with warhammer. Message received. Now back to social-justice-hipster-land with you, violent cultist.
5/31 c41 Guest
I don't understand why the emperor and the ficc exaggerate the chaos so much? they are powerful parasites, the answer itself.

They are a threat to the entire universe, the answer is no.

Some questions to the author that are not clear to me and I would like if you could answer them.

1.-How can the emperor be the most beyond human, if humans have existed for much longer than him?

It is not illogical that he is the beyond human if the human race is much older than him, why the hell does he contain the soul of human beings? Is he no longer a parasite like the gods of chaos who only eats the dead to gain more power?

2.-Why didn't the Eldar gods destroy the Nurgle, Khorne and Tzceh when they hadn't been born yet? I say why were they allowed to be born in the warp if it was obvious that they were malignant tumors?

3.-If the eye of terror measures only 20 thousand light years, then does that mean that the other 180 thousand light years were not even affected by the eldar fall? since the eye of terror only reaches one tenth of the galaxy.

4.- Why is the threat of parasites that they call themselves chaos so exaggerated? They are not in themselves the great thing, they are powerful in themselves because they use the eldar planets as anchors of reality, but otherwise they are not the great threat to advanced civilizations.

Why so much hype that they are a multiversal threat or something? that's pretty stupid if you think about it.

5.- Why did the emperor take more than 5000 years to react and unite the solar system? he had millennia because he waited until the end of the 30th millennium?

They are things that seem strange to me in history and I would like to know why?
5/31 c41 Militar fan
Well this ficc is a bad sci fi story in terms of military style.

Since to be frank the military tactics and plans of this emperor are pure ill-crafted hoaxes.

I say his plan to depend on just an army of a million super soldiers and his primarchs is a military disaster at the level of Napoleon's invasion of Russia in winter.

I say we are in a galaxy with advanced civilizations with this it is more than obvious that the enemies will use things like regular army with heavy weapons or combat armor, long-range drones or biological beasts by the billions.

It doesn't matter how super soldier a space marine is if a combat drone can fire a performant bullet at your head from several kilometers.

Which is not unreal, since nowadays the modern combat drones in modern warfare do the same to war tanks in the Middle East.

Or that a full armada with long-range rifles will shoot him by the thousands, in addition to being supported by obvious mobile artillery.

In addition, the marines are not the best soldier for example to fight the demons, those would be drones or androids of the mechanicus, since they do not have a soul or emotions to feed the warp.

It also has protections against warp that make it impossible for demons to control them, they can also be upgraded to one more to be the perfect army against chaos since they can be linked with the brains of psychic targets, which would make them 100% immune to chaos.

And they are even the best option since being mass produced they could close warp gaps, banish demons or even permanently kill them just with the fact that their numbers were sufficient.

With all that, it is very silly that the emperor depends exclusively on an army of super soldiers that are inferior in comparison to more conventional war tactics.
6/1 c39 Gentleman of Memes
I like the ficc, but some things are annoying sometimes that bad vague language of the second edition of warhammer 40k, since it sometimes makes it sound like a writing made by a child.

Sometimes that vague language ruins the whole experience of reading with nonsense such as that the gods of chaos can affect the universe or a multiverse, that is very silly, I suggest concentrating well on the scenario that is a galaxy and not playing silly with ideas so clumsy.

Then there are also the battle scales, they are very small races like the orks should have billions of soldiers since they are an invasive fungus species, 2 million are very little.

Besides that surely other species like the Rangdans will have billions of shock troops of meat both on land and in space, since they reproduce by billions as insectoid things.

Which seriously makes the scale of the imperial army a small thing, I mean a million space marines can't hope to seriously win that scenario.

It would not be better to focus the scenario on the true army of the empire, which is the imperial guard and the adeptus mechanicus, since they are 99.9% of the empire's forces, not the space marines.

It really does not make sense to concentrate so much on them in a well-written scenario, it is impossible for such small forces to be effective in a galactic war scenario, since in general they are too small.

I think you should at least try to give more development to the main force of the scenario for humans, improvements such as battle armor better than the equipment that they have in the canon something like the fallout I suggest and better strategies more realistic and useful.

And maybe more robots for the adeptus mechanicus I mean for something they mentioned.

Also perhaps create a more useful weapon against chaos, since the space marines are very infective really, you have not thought about culexus Pariahs massively cloned as servers, they would be basically a unit 100% immune to chaos, 100% warp repellent and the best that they would offer protection with their sole presence to the troops, and even if they are massively created an army dedicated to killing demons.

I think that would improve the reading a lot because a scenario so concentrated in an unreal and badly scaled military unit gets boring fast.
5/27 c41 Trife
I love this story! It’s really well written and you do a great job of bringing the characters to life. You even show the Primarchs with a more human side when it come to it. I also like what you’re doing with the Eldar and changing the course even further with the actions that are being taken.

I honestly am excited to read more of this story.

Trife
5/23 c41 FerrusManus7
"The same cliches as always, the emperor despite all the warnings of the future continues to do the same.

It's funny that reminds me of the phrase only a madman would do the same, always expecting different results."

Everything went wrong in the original timeline. The primarchs were stolen, the Emperor was losing his humanity, and Chaos already had its fingers in the primarchs by the time the Emperor found them. The Emperor's actions in this story are not the same either, early on into this version of the Great Crusade, he recognizes that he can err, and states before each of the primarchs that they can deal with alien species as they see fit. This is not a blanket xenocidal policy, it is one born out of pragmatism and a willingness to see that can be wrong.

"Even Cegorach said it to his face but the madman is engaged in a stupid and impossible mission, done so badly that I understand why the fandom in general calls him a narcissistic idiot."

The alternative to his 'stupid and impossible mission' is to see the galaxy overrun by Necrons, Orks, Rangdan, etc. Not to mention, the work 'The Sigillite' by Chris Wraight (collected in the anthology 'The Silent War'), involves Malcador stating that the Emperor views himself as dispensable, and that the Emperor believes he must make himself obsolete so that humanity can rule itself; not the viewpoint of a narcissist, even if it is rather naive.

"Literally, the emperor is making the same mistakes they make in parody, creating a sadistic empire, non-functional, incredibly incompetent, super xenophobic and using generals that seeing how this is going, they will most likely rebel for being a tyrant more than anything."

This section does not even deserve a proper reply, as I have already gone over it. You do not bring up any times of incompetence, non-functionality or sadism either, so it's clear to anyone here with a working brain cell (hint: not you) that you simply have a massive hate-boner for the Emperor and the Imperium.

"There is no way that committing mass genocide and doing this stupid ficc will win, in fact I think he's dumber now than ever."

Cite examples of mass genocide in this fic, that were done against peaceful human nations or alien races.

"I'll be honest the ficc is the same as always in general there is nothing original, just a copy of the copy of the other thousands of ficcs here."

As you aren't explaining why the story is unoriginal/cliche (what elements is it copying, key themes or quotes that are stolen, etc), or citing examples of stories that it blatantly copies, you obviously have a moronic, retarded grudge against the Imperium that you are using this story by Jayfiction to vent.

"Not an original idea and in fact even makes the plot look more silly since reading it is impossible for anyone with common sense to believe that this genocidal and psychopathic mutant madman can do something useful for humanity."

It is impossible for anyone with common sense to believe that you have an even mildly sensible point to make.
5/19 c41 3ScoutNout
Ok I have one question to ask. According to the TV Tropes these Adeptus Astartes are supposed to be much better than a Primaris. The question is what the hell do they look like. Are they suppose to be as big as one or do they have a different appearance altogether.
5/18 c41 BladeKing117
Finally my favorite legion and chapter got their due. Can't wait for the next chapter.
5/16 c41 Skirnir
In reply to "Guest" from the 12th of May:

Here we go again.

A member from the Cult of Outrage bashing warhammer. We have never seen that before! Wait...

If you are going to disguise your frothing-at-the-mouth hatred of anything to do with the fandom in the thin veneer of critique, at least read the story beforehand. Because it is clear "Guest" did not. Or lacked the cognitive ability to comprehend the differences between !IA imperium and canon.

Also the irony of a, most likely violent, political extremist complaining about genocide is literally killing me.

Classic case of "it's only bad if the evil fascists do it."

*Sigh* The human species is doomed.
5/11 c41 Guest
The same cliches as always, the emperor despite all the warnings of the future continues to do the same.

It's funny that reminds me of the phrase only a madman would do the same, always expecting different results.

Even Cegorach said it to his face but the madman is engaged in a stupid and impossible mission, done so badly that I understand why the fandom in general calls him a narcissistic idiot.

The funny thing is that everything that happens in the ficc reminds me of the chapter called:

If the Bemperor had a Text-to-Speech Device Special 7: Space Game Pain

by Bruva Alfabusa

Literally, the emperor is making the same mistakes they make in parody, creating a sadistic empire, non-functional, incredibly incompetent, super xenophobic and using generals that seeing how this is going, they will most likely rebel for being a tyrant more than anything.

There is no way that committing mass genocide and doing this stupid ficc will win, in fact I think he's dumber now than ever.

I'll be honest the ficc is the same as always in general there is nothing original, just a copy of the copy of the other thousands of ficcs here.

Not an original idea and in fact even makes the plot look more silly since reading it is impossible for anyone with common sense to believe that this genocidal and psychopathic mutant madman can do something useful for humanity.
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