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for Memento Mori

11/13 c4 1NikkiElle
Wow, this was a rollercoaster of emotions. So well written! Please continue, but I'd like to see Alice alive and find some kind of happiness. She deserves it, poor girl
6/13 c4 1evolqueen
So I really tried to leave without saying something, but it bugged me through the night... I couldnt stop thinking about some things that I really wanted to say.

First of all, of course, this is an incredibly written work and so well described and developed. It's super believable in spite the amount of horrible things you managed to put together as Alice life. But you see, my problem with the story is exactly that: she only had misery and suffering, sometimes agonizingly so. While I understand that you always imagined this ending and that the purpose of the narrative was to achieve it, I guess I cant express myself better than those common posts at Tumblr: it's not innovative or cool to have your characters who suffered and were traumatized for their entire existence in your story to have a shocking ending, or brutal murder. It doesn't give the reader any sense of satisfaction or brings the storytelling more quirky points. It leaves a sour taste and truthfully, in my case, makes you bitter toward the rest of it. Of course, seeing her just die made me relieved too, just like it made Alice, but that was mostly overwhelmed by the aversion. The aversion agaisnt the idea that it was Jasper who did it, someone who we know is supposed to love and care for Alice, who is canonically his mate. The aversion to the fact that Carlisle, who is supposed to be so good and kind and caring, to see Alice going through this horrible abuse and not do anything more than passively watch. Why didnt he call child services and press charges agaisnt her father? Why didnt he bring her old facility who used inhumane and agaisnt the law "treatment" agaisnt a supposedly mentally ill child down? Shut it down AND accused the doctors there of torture and sexual assault. Why didnt he discredit her awful stepmother and at least tried to get out of her own career as a psychologist? Why didn't he actually tried to help if he so clearly knew she was in the point of killing herself? It just doesnt make sense. If you're going to get him there, even if you clearly say so that he's just a substitute and that normally he's still a surgeon or normal doctor or whatever, why doesnt he have an actual purpose?

And it's the same for the Cullen children too. Why they dont show her more kindness? Specially Edward, who could read her thoughts, who clearly understood that she was on the bottom of hell. He already helped mildly w the catching her while falling thing, why not at least try to be more friendly? So she could have someone to talk to? Same for Jasper who, by fucks sake, out of nowhere fixed her boot, but nothing else? He attacked her bc somehow her deep emotions who were all bad, didnt trigger him to never talk or offer any kindness to her but led him to kill her? What type of person is he here? Where did the empath go? What's the point of the girls seeing Alice's body harmed and so skinny and sickly and not do shit about it? Was it just for further humiliation? Where did Bella's kindness go? Where did Rosalie's rage agaisnt someone throwing away their life, their chance at having a future go?

It's just so many choices to only give her flat out misery and don't allow her or the reader to breath for a minute. It almost makes the Cullens out of character and non believable. The fact that she keeps repeating that they could have something "in another life" , that she could feel she could have fallen in love or being happy with them, with Jasper, it doesn't make it more dramatic or poetic, it just makes the reader believe that maybe they will, to give them a slight of hope, only to be further disappointed with the ending choice. It makes it harder to swallow the bitterness.

I know you said you'd write a better ending, and peharps put Jasper's perspective on words, and I seriously hope you get to do it someday, because this is not what I'd like to reread or even recommend to someone else. Honestly i dont even know if i should favorite it, despite how well written it is. It really is a pity that you choose some of the options you did for the narrative to develop, I'd have loved this story otherwise.

P.S: I hope I wasn't rude or disrespectful. I tried my best to explain my frustration and reasoning in a clear way, but stil seeing to make it polite.
10/21/2018 c4 Guest
I can’t believe they just treated her like that- after Jasper killed her?!
Surely they could never- they’d at least make her death seem more dignified

But really good story telling- I felt for Alice throughout this
6/6/2018 c4 22flowerslut
WAIT. SHE'S NOT REALLY "DEAD" RIGHT? JUST LIKE... CHANGING? I'm gonna scream I love this so much thank U I can't wait to think about this story all day tomorrow
4/15/2018 c4 1Unfortunate Twihard
Holy crap, that's amazing and I'm just in complete awe of it. I want to kick Alice's entire family, and while IDEALLY I'd love a continuation where she changes and she tries to figure out how to live with the Cullens, I'd also adore Jasper's POV because holy crap, there's still so much unanswered! I mean I can draw conclusions about how they thought about her, but what can I say? I love my angsty Jazzy.
4/15/2018 c4 8AllAboutTheDRAMA
Oh goodness, can I vote for all the possible pieces? If you do a continuation, it's going forward saying Jasper killed Alice? I can't vote for the verse where she was turned and the Cullens take her in?

If Alice is really dead, I vote the Jasper POV.
3/23/2018 c4 Guest
I would love to have a continuation of this story, though I'd also like Alice to live! Please keep going.
2/11/2018 c4 3ZileRacer
I love this story. Please write more. I'm very interedted in this Memento Vivere (idk remember if its right) and of the Wolf Pack's reaction
2/4/2018 c4 Guest
This was a masterpiece and I definitely liked the way you ended things - something that goes against the typical. I do wish there was just a final chapter showing how alice’s death affected her family’s lives, if at all.
1/3/2018 c4 16GashouseGables
This was so painful, it was a rough read, my fingers are shaking. This was so well written, it's amazing. Sorry this isn't very coherent!
1/3/2018 c3 GashouseGables
Hey, I totally forgot to check on this and WOW wowowowowow I kept having to get up and pace around to calm my heart. My chest is all wobbly reading this, and valentine's day is so so sad for her!
12/25/2017 c4 Guest
So good! Pls do write more!
12/23/2017 c1 11Vivid Snare
Oh wow this was soo good! After reading a lot of bad FF, I stumbled across this and was very happy to find very little errors in your writing and it made sense, so thank you for writing a good story for me to stumble across
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