for Overlord: The Exiled3/3/2021 c46 
1JamesFreki
So I just blitzed through your story in like 2 days, lol, and I love it! Only real critique I can give is to watch out for the extra little words, I’ve been seeing a number of; and, of, are, the, etc that are extra or put in the wrong place in a sentence. It’s a small thing but can through off a reader. The other is more of a warning I guess, please make sure to do more with the sentient jewelry Draconis has that lets him talk to, I assume, the Norns. It’s in danger of being an unfired Chekhov’s Gun right now.
Other that that I love what you’re doing with the world building and characters, and I’m looking forward to what you do with Draconis’ “dark moment” so to speak.
Keep up the good work and stay healthy!
1JamesFrekiSo I just blitzed through your story in like 2 days, lol, and I love it! Only real critique I can give is to watch out for the extra little words, I’ve been seeing a number of; and, of, are, the, etc that are extra or put in the wrong place in a sentence. It’s a small thing but can through off a reader. The other is more of a warning I guess, please make sure to do more with the sentient jewelry Draconis has that lets him talk to, I assume, the Norns. It’s in danger of being an unfired Chekhov’s Gun right now.
Other that that I love what you’re doing with the world building and characters, and I’m looking forward to what you do with Draconis’ “dark moment” so to speak.
Keep up the good work and stay healthy!
2/5/2021 c6 PraiseDaSun
MC is a fucking pushover, letting them run their foul mouth at full throttle and at the same time let them live in a duel to the death...pathetic, has no self-respect and pride
MC is a fucking pushover, letting them run their foul mouth at full throttle and at the same time let them live in a duel to the death...pathetic, has no self-respect and pride
1/29/2021 c7 Kalacagim
Yeah, I’m sorry. This is too much for me. I really really wanna wait it out and see exactly where this story goes, but at the moment I cannot. And I will not force myself. Maybe I’ll come back to this story, maybe won’t.
Your characters are fine, it’s just that your world building (or lack thereof) just leaves me wanting. Maybe it’s too early to stop reading, maybe not. Like I said, I might come back to finish reading this when I’m not in an unpleasant mood.
On another note, please for the love of god preview your work before publishing it. There are so many spelling and grammatical errors littered throughout that it’s no surprise this story made it past 60k words, due to half the words not even being words, or words in sentences that don’t need to be there!
I’m not expecting everyone on this site to be a goddamn savant when it comes to writing so maybe it’s just not fair to hold that against you, but the very least you could do is pull out a dictionary every once in a while.
Yeah, I’m sorry. This is too much for me. I really really wanna wait it out and see exactly where this story goes, but at the moment I cannot. And I will not force myself. Maybe I’ll come back to this story, maybe won’t.
Your characters are fine, it’s just that your world building (or lack thereof) just leaves me wanting. Maybe it’s too early to stop reading, maybe not. Like I said, I might come back to finish reading this when I’m not in an unpleasant mood.
On another note, please for the love of god preview your work before publishing it. There are so many spelling and grammatical errors littered throughout that it’s no surprise this story made it past 60k words, due to half the words not even being words, or words in sentences that don’t need to be there!
I’m not expecting everyone on this site to be a goddamn savant when it comes to writing so maybe it’s just not fair to hold that against you, but the very least you could do is pull out a dictionary every once in a while.
1/29/2021 c5 Kalacagim
“I have not your Majesty, but I should not impose. Your nation is under duress as it is. I should not press for luxuries that can be ill afforded.”
To which What’s-her-face daudy or something thinks that he’s “respectful and honest yet smooth and pragmatic in his refusal”. Yeah, no. He outright insulted her kingdom, her ability to rule, and her station.
Honest? Yeah sure, but pragmatic? Smooth? Respectful? Yeah, no. This is a fine example of bad writing for the sake of trying to sound “cultured” when you’re so far off Visigoth tribes would consider you barbaric. Makes it even worse after you wrote he was “obviously well acquainted with dealing in the political sphere.” Like, did you forgot what story you were writing bud? Did you look at your character sheet and say “fukkit” and wrote whatever dribble came out of your head? Jesus dude, get real.
“I have not your Majesty, but I should not impose. Your nation is under duress as it is. I should not press for luxuries that can be ill afforded.”
To which What’s-her-face daudy or something thinks that he’s “respectful and honest yet smooth and pragmatic in his refusal”. Yeah, no. He outright insulted her kingdom, her ability to rule, and her station.
Honest? Yeah sure, but pragmatic? Smooth? Respectful? Yeah, no. This is a fine example of bad writing for the sake of trying to sound “cultured” when you’re so far off Visigoth tribes would consider you barbaric. Makes it even worse after you wrote he was “obviously well acquainted with dealing in the political sphere.” Like, did you forgot what story you were writing bud? Did you look at your character sheet and say “fukkit” and wrote whatever dribble came out of your head? Jesus dude, get real.
1/1/2021 c46 The Man Sitting Under A Tree
It took you more than 20 chapters to get back to the aftermath of the Leviathan fight. Wow.
It took you more than 20 chapters to get back to the aftermath of the Leviathan fight. Wow.
12/29/2020 c46 g77471164
Yay! Still alive!
About going into isekai anime world, I hope no one gets to be Subaru from Re:Zero,
Thanks for staying with us
May you have a great day
Yay! Still alive!
About going into isekai anime world, I hope no one gets to be Subaru from Re:Zero,
Thanks for staying with us
May you have a great day
12/27/2020 c46 12Dimension Distorter
Understand something Reis. There will ALWAYS be people here to back you the hell up! And I'm definitely one of those people. Yeah, I fully understand why you felt the need to post something like this. Hell, I had to do it twice to people who were reading two of my stories. One of them being my own Overlord fanfiction and that was recent. It's not fun having to waste the energy just to put a ton of ignorant people in their place about why you write certain things the way you do. Especially when you know you're doing everything you can to make you story as engaging and enjoyable as you can for the majority of the people who enjoy reading it.
And I fully FULL 100% PLUS ULTRA agree that those who haven't written a single piece of work or even wrote past 100k has massive gall to even try and flame on works that we put out hearts and souls into. I noticed that it's not only you but a ton of writers that I follow weren't in the mood this year. How could they? I know about your situation and the same could be said for those other authors that I follow. Because of this pandemic, I would hope that those who read stories on this site would be patient and wait for the situation to hopefully become a bit more manageable at least. But it seems like you were still facing enough Flamers to feel the need to have to post something like this and I'm sorry you had to deal with the ignorance.
Remember, you'll always have more fans then haters. Hell, after some recent things that have been going on in my own life, I realized that I can't wait for the situations around me to get better. I have to work through the muk, even through the shit that I don't enjoy myself. I'll have the sacrifice and do things I hate to both surpass the crap and the level that I set myself at. You can only be young for so long and do so much before you hit an age where you barely have any drive anymore. I know you are not one of those people who is a waiter. I admit that I was and I'm not going to be that anymore, no matter how long it takes me. As long as we can just enjoy the concept of MAKING PROGRESS, even if it's only 1% each day, 100 days, will become 100%, right?
Let's not hope that 2021 will be better but let's BE better during 2021.
12Dimension DistorterUnderstand something Reis. There will ALWAYS be people here to back you the hell up! And I'm definitely one of those people. Yeah, I fully understand why you felt the need to post something like this. Hell, I had to do it twice to people who were reading two of my stories. One of them being my own Overlord fanfiction and that was recent. It's not fun having to waste the energy just to put a ton of ignorant people in their place about why you write certain things the way you do. Especially when you know you're doing everything you can to make you story as engaging and enjoyable as you can for the majority of the people who enjoy reading it.
And I fully FULL 100% PLUS ULTRA agree that those who haven't written a single piece of work or even wrote past 100k has massive gall to even try and flame on works that we put out hearts and souls into. I noticed that it's not only you but a ton of writers that I follow weren't in the mood this year. How could they? I know about your situation and the same could be said for those other authors that I follow. Because of this pandemic, I would hope that those who read stories on this site would be patient and wait for the situation to hopefully become a bit more manageable at least. But it seems like you were still facing enough Flamers to feel the need to have to post something like this and I'm sorry you had to deal with the ignorance.
Remember, you'll always have more fans then haters. Hell, after some recent things that have been going on in my own life, I realized that I can't wait for the situations around me to get better. I have to work through the muk, even through the shit that I don't enjoy myself. I'll have the sacrifice and do things I hate to both surpass the crap and the level that I set myself at. You can only be young for so long and do so much before you hit an age where you barely have any drive anymore. I know you are not one of those people who is a waiter. I admit that I was and I'm not going to be that anymore, no matter how long it takes me. As long as we can just enjoy the concept of MAKING PROGRESS, even if it's only 1% each day, 100 days, will become 100%, right?
Let's not hope that 2021 will be better but let's BE better during 2021.
12/26/2020 c46 1M'Shen
To my utter bemusement, you have completely missed the obvious sarcasm in my reply in the section concerning the nature of fanfiction.
On another note, what's funny how the majority of the characters whose abilities you've went into extreme, painstaking detail on are the obvious self-inserts. What's even funnier are your ad hominem attacks on users based on an arbitrarily defined metric for the weight of their words, rather than the actual substance of their arguments. What a lazy, albeit expected copout for someone who has failed repeatedly to formulate a coherent rebuttal to my arguments.
Thirdly, influence does not imply imitation. Just because Yggdrasil is inspired by DnD doesn't mean that DnD rules and exceptions apply to the former game.
Of course, you can waive my arguments just by using the 'it's fanfiction' argument (its exposition in my message you completely failed to comprehend, mind you), but that wouldn't be fun, would it?
1M'ShenTo my utter bemusement, you have completely missed the obvious sarcasm in my reply in the section concerning the nature of fanfiction.
On another note, what's funny how the majority of the characters whose abilities you've went into extreme, painstaking detail on are the obvious self-inserts. What's even funnier are your ad hominem attacks on users based on an arbitrarily defined metric for the weight of their words, rather than the actual substance of their arguments. What a lazy, albeit expected copout for someone who has failed repeatedly to formulate a coherent rebuttal to my arguments.
Thirdly, influence does not imply imitation. Just because Yggdrasil is inspired by DnD doesn't mean that DnD rules and exceptions apply to the former game.
Of course, you can waive my arguments just by using the 'it's fanfiction' argument (its exposition in my message you completely failed to comprehend, mind you), but that wouldn't be fun, would it?
12/26/2020 c46 2Dariory
Man, you've got it tough. I just want to say that your work is great, not just story wise, I really like the way you write. I hope you had a nice Christmas and that the writing isn't tiring you out too terribly. As for the future, I wish you many good chocolate chip cookies and even more, nicer reviews both on story and in PM's. Stay awesome.
- random shithead with no writing talent
2DarioryMan, you've got it tough. I just want to say that your work is great, not just story wise, I really like the way you write. I hope you had a nice Christmas and that the writing isn't tiring you out too terribly. As for the future, I wish you many good chocolate chip cookies and even more, nicer reviews both on story and in PM's. Stay awesome.
- random shithead with no writing talent
12/25/2020 c46 3Mad-Dan90
Huh. Well now. I honestly wasn't expecting this kind of update, but I understand. Some things just need to be said. Especially in this age of "selective reading" and short attention spans. So as far as I'm concerned, it's completely understandable.
Oy... Ditto for how awful 2020 has been. Friends of mine have gotten Covid themselves and survived, whilst others have lost friends and family, and not too long ago, I lost both a grandmother and an uncle within the span of a month. Couldn't even attend the funerals due to the aforementioned Covid situation. So yeah. 2020 sucks. Big time.
As for the rest, I know that IRL waits for no one, so take care of yourself over there. Hopefully 2021 can bring us better tidings, and of course, when IRL permits, still looking forward to your works. Until then, laterz!
3Mad-Dan90Huh. Well now. I honestly wasn't expecting this kind of update, but I understand. Some things just need to be said. Especially in this age of "selective reading" and short attention spans. So as far as I'm concerned, it's completely understandable.
Oy... Ditto for how awful 2020 has been. Friends of mine have gotten Covid themselves and survived, whilst others have lost friends and family, and not too long ago, I lost both a grandmother and an uncle within the span of a month. Couldn't even attend the funerals due to the aforementioned Covid situation. So yeah. 2020 sucks. Big time.
As for the rest, I know that IRL waits for no one, so take care of yourself over there. Hopefully 2021 can bring us better tidings, and of course, when IRL permits, still looking forward to your works. Until then, laterz!
12/25/2020 c46 3Zandaino-Nova-Ari
Thanks for the Christmas present even if it was a big telling off for the cunts who are disrespecting your excellent story. Not all disappointed that this isn’t a chapter, some things just need to be said and you said them.
Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!
Make sure you stay healthy and all that jazz too.
3Zandaino-Nova-AriThanks for the Christmas present even if it was a big telling off for the cunts who are disrespecting your excellent story. Not all disappointed that this isn’t a chapter, some things just need to be said and you said them.
Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!
Make sure you stay healthy and all that jazz too.
12/5/2020 c4 1M'Shen
"Dragons are natural casters of Arcane magic anyway. His racial age progression and prestige lets him get away with quite a bit...but Tier X? He got them. Dragons are powerful...World."
Your reasoning here is flawed, and I don't think you understand the mechanics of YGGDRASIL. A player requires at least level 64 in MP while your character is only level 50 in that aspect. Without being at least level 64, there is no way to cast a tier 10 spell. Period.
1M'Shen"Dragons are natural casters of Arcane magic anyway. His racial age progression and prestige lets him get away with quite a bit...but Tier X? He got them. Dragons are powerful...World."
Your reasoning here is flawed, and I don't think you understand the mechanics of YGGDRASIL. A player requires at least level 64 in MP while your character is only level 50 in that aspect. Without being at least level 64, there is no way to cast a tier 10 spell. Period.
12/5/2020 c45 Phobrouis1
I’ve been searching for a story to get into that has more than one player being transported to the New World that aren’t in the guild Ainz Ooal Gown, and I’ve definitely found it! ‘Cause it’s really good! Great work!
I’ve been searching for a story to get into that has more than one player being transported to the New World that aren’t in the guild Ainz Ooal Gown, and I’ve definitely found it! ‘Cause it’s really good! Great work!
11/29/2020 c45 5Generation Zero
It is a long time since I return to this part of the fandom and I am glad to see what I saw here. THe Festival provides a rather good overview of what the Lair and Avalon once had. All great memories between friends and comrades, one that none may return too. It is good to see that everyone cared about once another so much even back then, it is rather heartwarming to be honest, a much needed perspective both in-universe and outside in this trying time. Music is the bread and water of our soul and what is better to help Draconis cope with all these changes than love, friendship, and good music?
But after such as this, its seems his emotion really is running him over. I am hoping to see more actions next chapter yet i am worried that Draconis would made mistake and his action would lead to great harm in the future. Oh well, all shall be waiting next. All the best to you. See you soon :)
5Generation ZeroIt is a long time since I return to this part of the fandom and I am glad to see what I saw here. THe Festival provides a rather good overview of what the Lair and Avalon once had. All great memories between friends and comrades, one that none may return too. It is good to see that everyone cared about once another so much even back then, it is rather heartwarming to be honest, a much needed perspective both in-universe and outside in this trying time. Music is the bread and water of our soul and what is better to help Draconis cope with all these changes than love, friendship, and good music?
But after such as this, its seems his emotion really is running him over. I am hoping to see more actions next chapter yet i am worried that Draconis would made mistake and his action would lead to great harm in the future. Oh well, all shall be waiting next. All the best to you. See you soon :)
9/13/2020 c45 12Dimension Distorter
Dude...you have no idea how amazing you are. To be going through something like this and still finding the strength to work by working through it all? And even then, the chapter was STILL very nice to read!? Dude, you will forever be one of my fan-fav writers and I want you to know that those of us who review this story of yours love your style and energy. If you ever feel the need to take off time and heal, then do it, bro. You're right. Covid-19 is no joke and it's really wrought havoc on the world but the most we can do is be there for each other and hope that something can be done about it. Until then, please take my beyond-super-late review, XD. Even if this was a memory-based chapter without too much in it, it was great for character depth. And hell, I nearly forgot that Draconis was cursed by Ainz. No, it wasn't brought up in this chapter but after everything he's gone through, remembering the past, what happened with the "GRAND PUMBA" Dragon, yeah. I'd wanna vent too.
12Dimension DistorterDude...you have no idea how amazing you are. To be going through something like this and still finding the strength to work by working through it all? And even then, the chapter was STILL very nice to read!? Dude, you will forever be one of my fan-fav writers and I want you to know that those of us who review this story of yours love your style and energy. If you ever feel the need to take off time and heal, then do it, bro. You're right. Covid-19 is no joke and it's really wrought havoc on the world but the most we can do is be there for each other and hope that something can be done about it. Until then, please take my beyond-super-late review, XD. Even if this was a memory-based chapter without too much in it, it was great for character depth. And hell, I nearly forgot that Draconis was cursed by Ainz. No, it wasn't brought up in this chapter but after everything he's gone through, remembering the past, what happened with the "GRAND PUMBA" Dragon, yeah. I'd wanna vent too.