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for She's Like The Sunset

11/18/2018 c7 NickChick22
Interesting story. Curious to know how it unfolds! Happy writing!:)
11/15/2018 c6 Guest
They were rolling around in the "flour"?! Did they end up in a bakery? Where did the flour come from?

Assuming you meant "floor."
11/5/2018 c6 Guest
I don't get why Edward and Bella had to go pick up the dress (except that it allows you to put the two of them together).

Last chapter, the dress HAD to be picked up by *that day* or else alterations couldn't be done.

So, why wouldn't Alice go with in case alterations had to happen? If she's having sex all morning and lounging by the pool in the afternoon, and the dress doesn't fit...she would have to go back the next day to start alterations, right? But, of course, the dress is going to fit PERFECTLY.

I love slow burn stories. But, this is already dragging. I just love reading your ridiculous takes on how a wedding gets organized (and Bella's inexplicable attraction to a guy who treated her like crap - "there's just something about him!" *gag*).

So, in your a/n, you say Esme is not a vampire OR a human she a wolf? lol
11/5/2018 c6 Guest
WTF is this mess? all I see is formatting stuff
11/5/2018 c6 LaurelSL
I don’t think your chapter loaded correctly
10/17/2018 c5 Guest
Curious how Jasper can speak softly, yet loudly, at the same time.

"slopping" all over each other?

Aren't they the richest people in the world? and aren't they staying in a hotel? Mom made "breakfast sushi" (whatever the hell that is)?

*per se (not per say) [though there were many more typos in this like your/you're].

I really don't know where this story is going. I certainly don't see the (positive) chemistry between them. But, it's SO entertaining to read!
10/17/2018 c5 sandyb67
Love the chapter can't wait for the next! Thanks Sandy
10/2/2018 c4 Guest
Ok first of all this story is really good and i dont even know the reason of all the hate,but their choice i guess, and im really on edge right now,what did Esme do! i really need to know why everyones like that and why Edwards so weird all the time totally loving it post ASAP!
10/1/2018 c4 libbyg1980
I am interested to see where this goes, but I have to say that we are 4 chapters in and there is no real progress between the main characters...they still seem to hate each other and that weird moment where he grabs her arm? I don't know. I am going to follow for now, so let's hope there is progress in the next chapter.
8/22/2018 c3 Guest
Ok I gotta say it. This story deserves none of the hate gotten. To quote Chris Pratt from Infinity War, "Everybody chill the F out!" Its fanfiction, FICTION made by a fan, it's not going to be published as a book it's just for fun, it's a vision of somebody's own interpretation and an idea of Twilight. Seriously if everyone thinks its that easy to write an amazing story then why don't you do THAT instead of leaving flames? Do that and come back and leave your flames if you manage to write an amazing story which gets no flames, I guarantee you that you won't!
8/21/2018 c1 cullenfever
This is sooo good been waiting for a story like this fer ages, please update soon
7/20/2018 c3 Guest
I'm sorry, Vartron...I read part of one of your stories just now. While not my style, I see that you seem to have a grasp for proper grammar and punctuation, at the very least.

Unless the author goes back and rewrites great swaths of this story after getting it back from you, I can't understand why there are SO many mistakes.

Are you just too nice to red-line the crap out of the crap she gives you? Do you just edit the really incomprehensible stuff? Do just enough to make it "readable," to use her words?

If so, you're not doing anyone any favors. Not you, as a beta. Not her, as an author. And not the readers.
7/20/2018 c3 Guest
I don't understand the mentality of finding someone (who has treated you like complete and utter shit) the least bit attractive. I don't care how physically good looking someone is...they cease to be attractive if they treated me the rest Edward had treated Bella. So I really don't connect with Bella when she daydreams of Edward with "mmmmmmm" on her mind. I thought she wasn't superficial?
7/19/2018 c3 Guest
How does this chapter progress the story?
7/21/2018 c3 brytam
You might look at this chapter as it seems really long because it keeps repeating over.

Really enjoying the story tho.
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