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10/16/2018 c12 Guest
I wrote the post about the inconsistencies:

While this story did not always make sense. Don't stop writing. Writing fanfiction is a great way to improve your writing.
10/16/2018 c12 Guest
So many inconsistencies mixed with repetitive poor judgement. Author, I'm not trying to be mean or claiming to be a better writer then you, but try reading the whole story through and you'll see how unrealistic everyone's actions are. THEY LET YURI LEAVE WITG VICTOR LIKE 5 TIMES. Also, Yuri realized that Victor is a jerk so many times, but its later as if those events never happened. Also, why was Guru's mom so open to Victor when Guru already told her he hit him?
7/6/2018 c12 Angeltuff of LeafClan
Overall, I couldn't find myself to enjoy this writing piece. It could be that I simply shun Viktor and Yuuri being in an abusive relationship. What made it all worth it for me was reading on how Phichit beat Viktor to a bloody pulp! So, in the end, I was left as a happy reader.
I would like to give you some constructive criticism on this work, for I feel a few tweaks could make the story have a better flow. First off, I would like to note that there are multiple simple errors in the writing throughout the story such as incorrect grammar and typos. Having a beta reader to proofread would help reduce these errors, or you could use a grammar checker such as Grammarly.
Additionally, during the competitions, I was thoroughly confused on how a short program could get a ridiculously high score of 217.02 and how a free skate could get a score under 100.00. In competitive figure skating, short programs score either at or below 100.00. An overwhelmingly bad score for professionals would be around 65.00 and the world record score, in the anime, is 118.56. With the free skate, poor scores are around 155.00 and the world record, in the anime, is 221.58. Going off that basis, total scores would range from 220-340. The point is, I'm suggesting you brush up on your knowledge of figure skating before you write a fanfiction that is based on a figure skating anime.
That is all, I hope this can help you improve your writing skills. Have a good day and good luck for the rest of 2018.
6/24/2018 c1 Guest
I'd also like to tell what an amazing hard working person you are I hope your gf gets better and you and her can make so more memories.
6/24/2018 c1 Guest
This an amazing story that actually causes me to question my ship even though this is not an actual episode. Please continue this series I literally just binged this one and now I'm dying for more.
6/14/2018 c12 jaundrie
Love it! Was the perfect ending! How you holding up? Remember your fans are here for you!
6/14/2018 c12 AnimePanda101
macdoes it. OMG he is so. funny i love that you know about him
5/19/2018 c8 anon
it would really help if you separated characters lines. them blending together is really confusing
5/16/2018 c10 jaundrie
Awwww shame man good luck! Strength to you and her family. I will be positive for you too and hope she wakes up soon. I will also be patiently waiting for you to update I understand that it is difficult to think of stories when your own world is at a stand still. Good luck again.
4/1/2018 c6 6Leradomi
I still like this but again your incorrect paragraphing makes the conversation flow difficult to follow. Every time a different person speaks should be a new paragraph.
There are also a lot of incorrect sentences missing words like "I wish we could something." Where it should have said "I wish we could have done something."
Do you need a beta to proofread? I am more than willing. I even use a beta as well. Let me know as it is a good story and I would love to help.
1/24/2018 c1 esmeralda20
I love how cheerful people have dark side cuz is so sexy somehow. Any, i hope u write mor of this
1/12/2018 c1 Guest
Wow, Please make more!
1/8/2018 c1 Leradomi
Hi, please write more of this, I don't know why but I always find this dynamic interesting is what if a Victor has a dark side we just didn't get to see etc.
I do feel like this chapter didn't give us too much insight into what is going on. The end of a chapter shouldn't necessarily be a conclusion of the story but should be a conclusion of that section of the story or a cliffhanger that leads into the next section and I feel like this chapter ended with neither.
I do look forward to more though.
But please please please fix your paragraphs with the dialogue. Every time a different person speaks I. The conversation there should be a new paragraph. You put everything in one paragraph and it makes it very difficult to tell who is talking.
I don't know if the review formatting will let this work but IF it does this is how it is supposed to look:
"Hey Pinchut!"
"Hey Yuri! How are you?" He said to me.
"I'm fine, thanks for asking," I comment back, laughing softly.

If the formatting worked that is how it is supposed to look, if the formatting didn't work then I don't know what to say, lol.
You should have a beta/proofreader for your stories who can help you with this stuff prior to posting. I would be more than happy to help and be your beta. (Everyone uses a beta it's nothing to be ashamed of, I use one too because I need a fresh pair of eyes to look at mistakes Imay have overlooked). Please think about the beta it would really help you, I volunteer and please over all continue writing this. Thanks!

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