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11/30/2021 c24 18ImSoAwesome
Another good chapter dude. Things are escalating and I really like that. Already really enjoying the dynamic between Pyrrha and Vernal, and even Shay, who is just a joy to read. Ten's behavior is genuinely disturbing and worrying and seeing it through Ruby felt perfect since it really shows how the team is starting to fall apart. And Pyrrha talking to the picture was really sad and sweet too.

I can't wait for shit to go down, so keep up the good work dude. I find it hard to get invested in fucs these days, but this update really brightened my mood.
11/30/2021 c24 2BetterTitles
I wonder what measures Ruby will take to keep Ren and Nora with her. I doubt she'd just stand by and accept that they'll eventually leave, especially given that it'd break her at this point. But what would the consequences to such efforts be, intriguing...
11/27/2021 c24 7ancientdragonduelist
It took me several tries to get through Ruby’s section. Not because it was poorly written, but because of how goddamn heartbreaking it was.

Ren is a perfect definition of an addict here. It’s got it’s claws in him and it’s consuming him. Without help, he will be lost. Nora is the enabler, trusting that he will come back to her on his own. He always has.

Ruby is trying to stop him, but goddamn it ripping her apart. She really needs Jaune. Her fellow leader, first friend, and Ren’s true leader. Together they would’ve stopped this early and relatively easily. Alone, I don’t know how long Ruby will last.

-

It’s understandable why you’re staying Pyrrha. Raven is a huge bitch, but she’s still treating you better than Ozpin did. Tricking you into that chamber, manipulating you into throwing away everything… There’s something to be said for Raven’s brutal ways.

But she’s still the woman who abandoned her daughter and teammates. She hides behind Vernal, instead of letting the truly scary powers know what power she has. And Vernal will pay for it with her life.

That said, I don’t see Pyrrha staying here forever. The Brandwen Tribe has the right idea, standing against Salem. But alone and isolated as they are, they’d be wiped out by a single concentrated attack. Ozpin’s methods were despicable, but the Kingdom of Vale still stands.

And even if Ozpin was wrong, he still fights to protect others. Others who can’t. The Brandwen Tribe takes from those beneath them and flees from those stronger than them.

You’ll leave Pyrrha.

Your family isn’t ready to lose you just yet.
11/26/2021 c24 5RedShirt1453
Loved it! Looking forward to the next chapter.
9/19/2021 c23 stacystaton1
Are you still doing glitch techs
6/24/2021 c23 7ancientdragonduelist
Raven is easily the second best character in this story, just a hair behind Pyrrha.

She’s broken, Ozpin’s broken, NPR is broken…

Raven’s idea isn’t terrible, but it’s also a very old one. Ozpin was the unified king of Remenant once. He could’ve done what Raven wants to do now. He chose a way that doesn’t rely on a single leader.

Raven has done good things, breaking horrible gangs and shaping them to her will. But, she’s still mortal. Raven Brawndwen will die one day. And once she’s gone, who will hold her tribe together? Who will stop the weak from fleeing, from betraying the tribe to Salem?

Ravens army might be strong, but she is also it’s weakness. She is the keystone. Without her, it all falls apart.

Qrow managed to stay focused. He fights for his loved ones. He fights so Ruby and Yang might grow up happy and safe.

All Raven can see is trying to destroy Salem. Regardless of the cost.
6/24/2021 c23 bassplayer123
I wish Raven had this much nuance in the actual show, instead of just being a coward. RT should hire you as a writer, because this fic is way better than what we got for Volumes 4 and 5.

Also I’m glad that Pyrrha didn’t bend over for Raven the instant she learned the truth about Ozpin and Salem. It’s good to see she’s not so easily manipulated. Also, who’s life was Raven referring to when she said she would “only need one life”? Herself?
6/24/2021 c23 3Saints and Kings
Really great writing! I love your story!
Keep writing!
6/23/2021 c23 Handsomistic1
Gotta say, I like your portrayal of Raven; the actual show could utilize your talents. What she’s saying makes sense, but then again, she deserved that shot for mentioning Jaune LOL.

Looking forward to the next chapter.
6/23/2021 c23 27Thebestoftherest
Yes raven if ozpin and mutliple armied with cutting edge science can't win your collection of loser and failures will win.
6/23/2021 c23 5RedShirt1453
Sadly Pyrrha is yet to be convinced. She'd rather remain a puppet than be free.
6/23/2021 c23 18ImSoAwesome
Dude. This was a freaking fantastic chapter. Geez, I hardly know where to start.

The execution of Raven's character is a master-class of pacing, subtlety, and hard-hitting dialogue. This whole chapter is nothing but sitting around and talking, structurally no different than this very same talk in Volume 5. Yet this accomplishes with extreme efficiency what canon wishes it could. I CANNOT express how incredibly compelling this chapter was. Raven was utterly spell-bound dude, convinced of her every word and found myself drawn in like I've never been before.

"Take a good look. The artists who painted this clawed his eyes shortly afterward."

The chills this gave me. It made my fucking spine burn. The sheer horror of this line alone is incredible. I just love it. How? How is it that you have painted Salem as this cosmic, incomprehension, eldritch horror that has such a palpable presence in the world that I feel the nooses squeezing every character's neck? That takes some real freaking skill.

I love how you tied Ozpin's will to the Maidens and how their inherent will is to serve his desires, even if in their own ways. It's this twisted self-fulfilling prophecy, a monstrous amalgamation of free will and destiny. I don't know why I love this so much, but it's a small detail that goes such a long way since it ties in so perfectly not just with Raven, but Pyrrha and the rest of the Huntsmen system.

Raven letting herself get punched and then laughing about it was so genuinely disturbing. Just the way you wrote it and paced it was just so good. You really convinced me that she might be a little mad. If not a lot.

"I'm going to do what Ozpin never could. I'm going to win this war. And I'll only need one life to do it."

That is a powerful goddamn line. I had the biggest smile on my face dude, I kid you not. I knew from this point on that I loved your Raven. That this is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the best and definitive version of Raven and I couldn't be more happy. Regardless of what her role is in this story, big or small, this chapter is my new favorite.

"Pyrrha swallowed, realizing just how scary it was to see a madwoman fancy herself a genius."

Pardon me, I do believe that line made me cream my pants.

I am actually fanboying right now. I only do that for the very best I've ever read and my God is a good feeling. Dude. You win. You win it all.

Keep that good shit coming, my man.
5/13/2021 c22 7ancientdragonduelist
Poor Emerald…

Cinder is damn near as bad as Tyrian. She might not be so full of bloodlust, but she’s unable to recognize even the slightest bit of human kindness. The warm glow I’d love that Emerald still holds close.

All of Salem’s group could be exterminated if it weren’t for Emerald. It just feels… wrong to wipe her out. Not without giving her a chance. The girl has a good heart, she’s just caught in horrible circumstances.

Have you watched Season 8?
5/13/2021 c21 18ImSoAwesome
This was another mint chapter. The Pyrrha and Raven stuff especially. I like how Raven calls out Pyrrha's need for validation, and I'm liking the subtle hints about Ravens reasons and intentions. I can't wait to see where you'll take her.

Ren starts his descent into madness, which is just a total treat and I love it. His belief that he is always in control of himself is a very interesting and relatable delusion since everyone feels that at some point. In a way it's indicative of a sort of unintentional judgement that other people are more emotionally and perhaps mentally weak than him. Which is why he feels the need to be in control. He can handle it. He can't break or be hurt anymore. But he is a fool and I can't wait to see him realize this.

It's funny actually, him and Pyrrha are going through pretty similar motions. And it's a testament to your pacing that they seem to grow and change alongside one another consistently, which keeps the story engaging.

And that ending. I'm guessing that's the Nuckalevee? Or some other approaching Grimm? Ah well we'll see.

Good work dude, still loving this.

I would review chapter 22 but there isn't much to say, still a good chapter, just not much to comment on.
5/9/2021 c22 Sebine
Well you could try being less of a cunt to your wannabe lover, Cindy
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