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for Burning Bright

1/8/2020 c2 28Iniki Melset
Barbaric, truly barbaric, but I couldn't stop reading. Your Section 31 makes the Obsidian Order appear tame as those taken for questioning are released for execution afterwards, and not doomed to suffer for the remainder of their time.

But I am more than a little frustrated, as I was hoping that, after his being rescued, some way would be found to at least partially rehabilitate him, make him able to function again. The way he is at the end of the story will see him institutionalized.
5/16/2018 c2 58randomplotbunny
I could so see Section 31 doing this.
4/26/2018 c2 16SilverChrysanth
Holy potatoes that was good (also I just understood the LoTR reference in the chapter names).

You took my prompt and did amazingly with it! You were right when you said it was dark, and the ending was perfectalthough I have mentioned in the past that you always have the best ending lines.

I think my only real critique is that I wish the rescue had been longer, but that might be more of a preference than anything else. Garak's line was great, and I can't help thinking of all the ways the story might go after the ending...

But well done! I thoroughly enjoyed this, and as always I look forward to more!
4/23/2018 c2 68Celtic Knot
Oh, God. When I saw what the second rule was, I felt sick to my stomach. And then the consequences were so much worse than I’d imagined.

That was wonderfully dark and terrifying. You don’t pull any punches, do you? :)
4/23/2018 c2 11summerartist
Ick. Ow! No doubt that was the reaction you were going for though, so you pulled that off rather well. After such a rough time the rescue is a very welcome passage. You could even have dwelt on it longer if you wished, but that is perhaps a personal selfish wish on my part. I do so like rescues. ;-)

I like the sort of dark ending without it carrying through so that it can be interpreted however the reader wishes. Maybe they manage to escape and Bashir's captivity is what gave him that sense of hopelessness. Maybe the section did carry through but- I'm just going to pretend that that isn't so. Either way Bashir is going to have a difficult time ahead of him.
2/12/2018 c1 68Celtic Knot
Ohh, DAMN. I am well and truly intrigued now. This is a very interesting take on my favorite character. Looking forward to more!
2/4/2018 c1 3The Tystie
I’ve finally got around to reading this. (I was waiting hopefully for the second chapter and the completed story, but I gave in to temptation this morning. Now I really want to see how this ends!)

Julian is still recognisingly himself in this, although his backstory has been altered.

I’m not sure what S31 doing in this. It has clearly got agents all over the place, but what are those agents doing? S31 comes across as manipulative and controlling, but are they actually using Julian as an agent here, or is he ‘sleeping’? I don’t suppose it matters for the story, but I’m curious...

I found myself aching for Julian to escape S31’s control and for him to find some kind of positive support. I’m not sure whether that’s where you are going with this, but that’s how the story made me feel.
1/11/2018 c1 16SilverChrysanth
Oh my gosh, this was so good! It was dark and intense, but the rating is fine as it is.

I like how you had multiple flashbacks of different times, showing different bits of Julian's character through them, even if they were small pieces. Him almost forgetting his job in the academy, even for a moment, proves that he's still human and never really lost his virtues, even if he has to dig to find them.

And it's not surprising that Julian might slip up a little; he's never had a real friendship. I like how he wasn't perfectly obedient, as it showed that despite Sector 31 conditioning, he still has something left.

For critique:

*Your parents and backstory are just that, a backup, not an excuse.*
There should be a colon right after the word "that". Colons are used between independent clauses when the second explains or illustrates the first. I believe that fits here.

*"This really is unnecessary, 36D." His assigned agent said,*
The period should be replaced with a comma.
1/11/2018 c1 11summerartist
Oh dear. Yeek. Though how you worded your warning made me giggle a little.
You give a grim and clever possibility to the reasons why Julian was so eager to make friends in s1, like it was a kind of task. That part in the show did seem weirdly forced so it's interesting you picked up on that. Intriguing!

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