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for Son of the Archer and The Year of the Egos

11/14/2018 c11 skyitegaming
Hermione is going to find a different teacher and become legenday, is she?
11/13/2018 c11 14IBJoyful
I'm sorry to hear about Stan Lee. His cameos in our movies will be greatly missed.

I am glad to see you have posted on this story! It always makes me happy to see another chapter.

Somehow I get the feeling the Hermione will find a way to learn mAyA... (is that how you spell it, or just how you pronounce it?)

I'm afraid I have no clue who Dr. Cracknel is.

I. B. Joyful
11/13/2018 c11 13foxchick1
dr cracknel was a jerk.
11/13/2018 c11 orangiethefox
Awesome! I wanted so long for another chapter! Made this day alot better!
11/13/2018 c11 3Mysticarts
Hey how you doing I'm doing just fine I'm going crazy inside
9/2/2018 c10 Guest
Keep up the good work, more please
8/25/2018 c10 HeRonLove
That was a great chapter.
8/25/2018 c10 orangiethefox
Great chapter like always and I love the concept you are going with, but do what make you comfortable!
8/24/2018 c10 26jeanette9a
I actually think you should look into the subject and ask for the person's opinion on it.
you have a resource that few others writers have and I think your story would be richer for including one who practices said content in the planning stages.
I also think it would be a nice gesture since you mention you were on thin ice and with your limited knowledge.
it might end up a bit different from the view of the subject we have seen mangled before, but I think that's where this can stand out instead.
8/24/2018 c10 Jostanos
Apology accepted, Mel. There _is_ A Marvel Hero named 'Dr. Voodoo', if I remember correctly, and practices the art/religion. Your beta sister's friend is correct that you are on 'thin ice', but if you look up the details for Dr. Voodoo and what he does with his powers/abilities, you _may have_ a better way of viewing the concept. :)

Happy Birthday! *eye smiles*
8/24/2018 c10 1Kiterou
About your concerns - there are plenty off fictional stories depicting aspects of the voodoo religion (which is still practised by a surprising amount of people - a couple of my older family members on the philippines are active believers, and most of the very christian family I have there at least do believe that Voodoo is a very real thing) in a magical context, so I wouldn't worry too much.

Voodoo, like other smaller, more obscure (because 'magical') religions, has been used in literature and movies relatively often. Of course there's Voodoo, as in the dark, nature based magic, and the religion itself. I would suggest that you try to inform yourself when it comes to the religion, and when describing the magic in your fanfiction, make it clear that it is only meant as magic.

Now to my critique - the last couple of chapters, basically nothing happened. What we learn from here could have been put into one chapter of moderate length and enough density when it comes to the plot. That happens a lot when you are distracted from the plot (by plotbunnies, or because you have yet to flesh the story out), but coupled with the longer waiting times, that can be very frustrating for the readers. Your first installment, Son of the Archer, was very nicely paced, so maybe you could look back at how you have structured SoA and try to adapt this story to it?

As an example, what we have learnt from this chapter:

- Hermione is still frustrated that she can't learn from Ron. Despite being insecure in her relationship with Bruce, she asks him for help, who goes to Tony.
- Ron meets up with FitzSimmons and is happy.
- Ginny still dislikes Ron and her families attention for him.

The fact that Hermione is very frustrated, and the fact that Ginny is unhappy about the situation with Ron, are facts I as a reader already know from the last couple of chapters, and therefore both of the scenes are practically filler. The same goes for Rons meeting with FitzSimmons, which was a sweet moment, but did nothing for the actual story.
So the only new thing we take away from this new chapter is that Bruce and Tony agree to search a Voodoo teacher for Hermione to indulge her. And that is very, very little information to go with until the next chapter comes around. After a few low density chapters, people will commonly lose interest in the story.

I do hope that you take this to heart. Son of the Archer is one of my very favourite stories and I would hate to see Year of the Egos to crash the train.

Yours, Kiterou
8/23/2018 c10 19magical fan18
It would be funny if Hermione’s Voodoo Teacher would be based on Dr Facilier from ‘Princess and the Frog’.
7/13/2018 c9 6briana.schmidt1
I can't wait to read more!
6/13/2018 c9 26jeanette9a
great job.
6/13/2018 c9 Jostanos
Hmm.. Perhaps Hermione may be taught by another magic wielding hero? Maybe... Dr. Voodoo?
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