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2/3 c3 7I AM BIG J
you are bad
2/15/2023 c11 I AM BIG J
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Regards,
Big J
2/2/2023 c1 I AM BIG J
I am absolutely lost for words. You have taken feathery florescent cerulean neon signs and made them clandestine in a way that is believable. How on earth have you managed that.
1/27/2023 c6 I AM BIG J
arse paper
3/2/2021 c1 king rafeal
wow you're really good at writing, do you take classes?
1/4/2020 c1 21Logan Jindrak X
I'm sorry for leaving a review so late, but honestly... this chapter was VERY long to read.

Now, while I like the amount of detail you provide and the fact that you truly did flesh out your world, the only problem I have with it is the length. While I enjoy novels, sometimes, they give so much detail that the story takes forever to advance. For example, Harry Potter's later books became so long that I found myself forgetting many details such as Snape being in love with Harry's mom or Dumbledore having a sister.

I'm sorry, but I don't know if I'm gonna get hooked on this story, OMW. I'll still read the second chapter though.
9/23/2019 c5 7MCGamemaster90
Hiya! I’m back to continue reading more chapters. I'm getting a really bad vibe from this Alberto guy, based on their previous dialogue, he seems pretty edgy and confrontational. Cesar announces his judgement that he does not believe that the Scarlet Macaws were capable of driving off humans. And that the tribe will wait until they know for sure that the Scarlet Macaws wish to fight. But all Macaws who do not fear anything will go through training to prepare themselves. Very nice build up.

I don’t know why, but the part where Eduardo just randomly decides that Alberto is blocking his view kind of threw me off for a second there, but no worries. Also, you said Eduardo didn’t know who Tactio was, right? How did he know his name earlier in the chapter or was that supposed to be the perspective of the other characters? Moving on, I feel that Alberto’s care for Cesar will be the reason as for a future confrontation.
9/19/2019 c4 MCGamemaster90
Apologises for the wait once again, let's review. Looks like the journey of the three allies is at an end and we're finally going to see what Eduardo's father has been hiding from him for so long. I will be honest and say I think the journey of all three birds travelling here was a bit drawn out. If there had been some interesting scenes in between, then it would be a great read, but seeing the whole journey just to get to here felt kind of dull. A transition from when they make their plans towards arriving would be good in my eyes. But great chapter all the same, descriptions are beautiful and tell the story quite well.
8/11/2019 c3 MCGamemaster90
So, it looks like there's some civil disputes going on here between the Spix's Macaw Tribe. That has me thinking the whole plot of the story revolved around the clan tearing themselves apart and that led to them being defenceless when it came to the humans. I could be wrong though. But nevertheless, the plan of action is ate state and our trio are on their way.

One part they kind of confused me was regarding Alberto's plan. He said to go underwater to observe. Apart for the obvious fact they can't swim, how would they see or hear anyone by doing that?
8/11/2019 c2 MCGamemaster90
All right, I'm back to finally read more, put it off way too long. We're finally introduced to Eduardo and one thing that caught my eye was he's a lot more immature and irresponsible compared to his movie self. Looks like the hostilities with the scarlet macaw clan are still lively even back then, who God knows how this feud started?

I wonder why Ceaser is so disliked by Alberto and Venre, I'm going to assume it's based on a previous confrontation. I noticed you mentioned the red-bellied tribe, so it's interesting that there once existed more tribes before Rio 2's events. Curious as to what happened to them. Maybe I should stop just questioning and read.
7/20/2019 c12 24Ricardo the Black Hawk
After a day of reading and note taking, I have finally reached the current chapter of Don't Go. I'd like to thank you for the experience so far and leave you my final thoughts until you update.

I noticed there was no mention of the start of war from the previous chapter which I don't really like. Someone somewhere would be worried about it, especially on how it was built up. But I did notice you mentioned Eduardo has acknowledged the offensive of the Scarlet macaws would come and the Spix macaws would be overwhelmed if not completely annihilated that he also would be a high-profile target.

I feel that the characters were discussing pointless conversations that led to nowhere. For example, they were talking about Cesar going to bed half an hour after him, but he stayed awake for three hours after going to bed. I didn’t see the purpose in such conversation.

It appears the approaching war is on the horizon and Cesar is making every battle plan he can muster. His tactical methods are effective so far, but as he said, the Scarlet Macaws do outnumber them by unknown amount of numbers. I’m very curious as to how this war will end, because if it does lead to the events of Rio 2, how a brutal war went to a squabble rivalry will be a story I’d love to see.

Moving forward, I’d now like to discuss my overall thoughts on your choice of writing style I'm not going to lie, I was getting really confused too, there's so much attention to detail that sometimes that you did have a habit of contradicting yourself. Like this chapter, you claim he's not thinking about the war but he's thinking about the war? I had to read that numerous times to make sure I was reading it right.

Usually, I encourage writers to throw in more detail to better paint a picture with words, but at the level you display, I think the details hinder the story to the point I’d recommend you to cut back. From my experience and help from others, there is a balance, where you tell the story and show the scene but still have it where your audience's imagination can make up a part of it. Like you don't need to give the exact 45-degree angle of a bird flies down when performing a nose dive, what you need to display is simply that he is performing a nose dive. Let the audience decide, okay is it a 25-degree angle, 35-degree angle, 45-degree angle, did he stop and drop 90 degrees. That's where the fun of reading it comes into play.

I hope my feedback did not come off as harsh. Trust me, you are far from a bad author, you’re excellent and one of my favorites, but very, very detail heavy and so fact driven that it’s hard to suspend belief and get into it. Regardless of if you make changes based on my feedback or not, know you have my support.
7/20/2019 c11 Ricardo the Black Hawk
Chapter 11, only one more to go after this and then I will be all up to date with your stories. I must say it has been a privilege and an honor to read them so far and I highly look forward to seeing the next of the results. Let's get to it.

For starters, I was confused at the weird language. You used the term, “it's half a quartet of hours”, I'm not honestly sure what that means. Is it two or four? Regardless, nothing appears to have happened, since the group came together, they have done nothing but talk, Mimi has spent an hour or so exploring the southern wall's eastern side.

I’m curious about the Nomads and the exact reason why Eduardo is paranoid about them. Moving on, we meet the Scarlet Macaw Messenger named Erasmo Folheto, who warns that the Scarlet Macaws and their generals have unanimously voted to start a declaration of war, if Cesar does not heed the warning by immediately surrendering and stop depriving the Scarlet Macaws of food, there will be a massive attack. I like that, reminds me of how actual battles work, but I fear Eduardo snapping and insulting the Scarlet macaw wasn’t the best of ideas, representing his lacking leadership skill, even with his growing development.

Another part I was mixed on, Cesar announced that he won't hurt the Scarlet Macaw due to the declaration of war, but if the Scarlet Macaw does not leave, he can't promise that his son Eduardo might. He cannot control the actions of his son, this makes me feel he might not be fit to be a leader

Regardless, I am enjoying the chapter and look forward to reading chapter 12.
7/20/2019 c10 Ricardo the Black Hawk
We have reached chapter 10, the next entry of your story. Without further or do, let’s get into it.

Twenty minutes has passed by since they had left their home and they have arrived the, Cachoeira Cintilante. An interesting place, based on the description of how dangerous it is. Seems Eduardo’s ever-growing development continues as birds bow their head as they pass him, he still finds the respect weird. This also continues as he takes roles as the team's lookout to watch out for vicious predators

The blue macaws seem very focused on protocol, even when having fun, they have to talk to Eduardo formally. Mimi insists on it. It almost comes off as a very boring way of life. Not fully certain, but I’m under the impression that you’re trying to establish how he becomes the dictator in Rio 2 and why he’s so strict on not letting the blue macaws leave.
7/20/2019 c9 Ricardo the Black Hawk
Okay, we are back with the next chapter. It seems several hours have passed by since chapter 8, it is now morning, 10:50 AM.

During the part where Mimi finds a bunch of rotten fruit still on the trees (I didn't know that was possible) I’m curious as to who ate half of them, why and if this will serve any purpose to the planet. On a higher note, we have the return of Verde Nova. At this point, I was beginning to think you were shoving in too many characters that it was hard to keep up with who was who and their purpose.

As with one of the previous chapters, I don’t have a lot more to say here. Everything’s look nice so far and it’s leading up to something interesting.
7/20/2019 c8 Ricardo the Black Hawk
Here we are, back with chapter 8 of the story. Once again, let’s get into the pointers and the criticism.

Looks like the Blue Macaw clan are readying their battle against the Scarlet Macaws, with food and bullet ants against the Scarlet Macaws. At this point, I’m in two minds on who the true mortal side is. Eduardo and Mimi finding two fatal flaws in that plan and forcing Cesar to stop and considering the option shows growth in the Eduardo and his abilities to come.

For your opening paragraph, I really don't understand what you’re trying to say. Sometimes less is more, keep that in mind. Also, Eduardo needing permission from the tribe leader to have fun with a friend. It seems very much like a dictatorship to me. Are they really that serious?
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