Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Lonely Letters

11/7 c3 1Dark White Fang
I know I am just nitpicking but I will do it nonetheless. The rescue in flying car happened in year two because Dobby's trap was what made Harry being held prisonner in his room. In four year the Weasleys came to get Harry for the Cup but go through the chemney (the Dursley's was temporally added to the network) but it was a fake one so they ended trappes in it and blew it up to get out.
11/3 c21 Aniki35
I hope this wasn't the end. This is a great story and I need closure
10/26 c21 3Geovanni Luciano
Honestly, this battle came out of no where with no warning. It felt rushed and ill planned. The winning part of this story, so far, is the relationship that you built between Harry and Fleur. That was done well. So, Sirius has one arm on the ground. Do you plan to have it re-attached? What is going on in the Department of Mysteries? Dumbledore is hit, but not by a flash of green. So, this doesn't appear to be the final battle, yet.
10/25 c19 Geovanni Luciano
Again, going off script. When did Frank and Alice Longbottom die? Why would they be beyond the veil? You've not rationalized this or made it part of the storyline cannon of this with the exception of an odd bit in this chapter which doesn't mesh or make any sense. Hell, Neville has been non-existent in this story, so far. And, not for nothing, but in the graveyard scene Nagini was clearly housing a horcrux when she passed. So, I'm just disappointed in what is going on in these last few chapters.
10/25 c17 Geovanni Luciano
OK, you kinda lost me in this chapter with Harry getting visions and issues with his scar. Since he died in the graveyard, he really shouldn't have a horcrux in him any longer, and this isn't making sense to me. Just being honest.
10/21 c3 kblankenship1025
It could’ve been literally anything other than a ring. Rings are so over done.
10/14 c20 kblankenship1025
Hmm having a conversation where Harry explains how he had no idea anyone would actually read the letter would be absolutely hilarious. The times you actually try with the comedy give me a stich or 2. Even the one liners sometimes gets a snort.
10/14 c20 kblankenship1025
Wow the writing is a lot better now. It could literally be a different person writing(it’s a joke). You’re doing a good job on interactions. Sometimes it still sounds a tad stiff but it’s not really that bad.
10/14 c17 kblankenship1025
Um the killing curse should have destroyed the horrocrux. That part of the prophecy is already obsolete.
10/14 c4 1Cario Regun
HAHAHAHAHA DAAAMN I WAS EXPECTING SOMETHING LIKE THIS BUT ACTUALLY READINF IT WAS AMAZING LMAO HAHAHAHAHA
10/14 c5 kblankenship1025
I understand they’ve shared letters but they’ve only met in person like 3 times. Seems rushed. Where’s the plot? They’ve barely talked about it. No need to rush. Let the foundation before you try to build a house seems adequate to describe it.
10/14 c5 kblankenship1025
Not sure of the way you handled it. I mean I thought it as the first thought in my head but it seemed to obvious so I immediately discarded it as too farfetched. Not that I mind. The only thing I mind is that ‘arry isn’t ‘Arry. Makes the flow weird because I need to focus on finding the name instead of the capital letters.
10/14 c3 kblankenship1025
Hmm the ring is weird. Probably would’ve been better for it to be just about any other type of jewelry. Maybe I’m just biased bc I think they’re a waste. Honestly some dull band of metal. An anklet or bracelet is much better. Tell a story within a story.
10/14 c1 kblankenship1025
The second letter is strange and doesn’t make much sense. The declaration is a little weird.
10/8 c11 Fanfic enjoyer
I have never seen worse depiction of Tri-wiz tournament. You literally ruined the whole idea behind it. I thought 2 task was just funny take, but no, you repeat same shit in the 3 task.
That's not to mention the cuck that is HP in your fanfic. Srry, but it is just pure undiluted s_h_i_e_t
686 Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service