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9/12 c4 16ItsNotMyBirthday
This was very taut and exciting! That shooting scene was an absolute blast!
2/4/2018 c4 128Mulderette
Nice happy ending. Glad everything ended well for Hidoko, Sam and the team. Nicely done :)
2/4/2018 c2 Mulderette
Wow... what a nightmare for Sam. Nice job with this.
2/1/2018 c4 11countrygirluk56
Lovely ending if a little rushed. You could have padded the story out a bit but nevertheless it still had great tension and you portrayed everyone's emotions well. Well done & I look forward to reading more stories from you.
2/1/2018 c3 countrygirluk56
Nicely done. Hetty coming to the rescue with the money and Mosley stepping up to the plate to let them work in their unconventional way which is most effective. You built the tension, the guilt Sam feels and the anger well. I like how you've portrayed Hidoko - tough but vulnerable now she realises her likely fate if the team don't get to her in time. Nice touch that she feels parts of the team and likes them all. Can't wait for more
1/31/2018 c2 countrygirluk56
Oh my what a cliffhanger and now we know it's related to Sam & to what happened to Michelle. Why Hidoko though as opposed to Kensi or even Nell? I didn't think Sam was any more attached to her than Kensi and Nell. Still it works as she's Mosley's assistant. My only criticism is it would be better to have each person's speech on separate lines which would make it easier to read and understand who is saying what to whom. Other than that, this is excellent work.
1/31/2018 c2 3Nat z29
OMG! I can't wait for your update!
Well done!
1/31/2018 c1 Nat z29
Great start! it seems that everybody's instincts are working perfectly. I like Hidoko, but can't stand Mosely.
I like the way you write the dialog with the initial of the character like in a real script.
To the next one now...
1/31/2018 c1 11countrygirluk56
Hey I see that you've marked this as complete. You can't leave it there. Where's Hidoko? Who's taken her and why are they interested in Sam as well? While it's well written you've left us with more questions than answers. Please continue with this.

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