for Through Caroline's Eyes2/28/2018 c1 Guest
Do do like that you are writing a Caroline-centric story from her point of view and I like the touch about her causing her own downfall with the letter to Lady Catherine. I like it when she is displayed as a complex character, rather than a caricature. You can do something with the theme of pride and prejudice with helping her character to realize that she's been prejudiced to think certain people are beneath her due to an unearned pride.
I think this story has some promise, but I'm going to suggest something radical to fix it. You keep repeating "the odds weren't in her favor" and this keeps making me think of the Hunger Games "may the odds ever be in your favor" so maybe, just maybe you could rewrite this as a Hunger Games cross-over. I think Caroline would be a rich woman from the capital who pays for Finnick's favors, wishes he was the one true love he addresses in the 2nd book in the interviews before the victors go back into the arena, sees her own prejudices and tries to be more than what she is.
As for the story as it stands, it has some glaring historical inaccuracies. Caroline would never be practicing bowing. Women didn't bow, they curtsied (I'm only in my 40s and was taught to curtsy as a child; it is a relevantly recent phenomenon that woman have started bowing like men). Maidens did not bear bright colors like the red ball gown you have her preparing to wear. Only married women dressed in bright colors.
I also can't imagine Hurst knocking Caroline into a puddle. He would be escorting her sister, not her, and I can't imagine Caroline taking a walk where it is the least bit muddy. Now if he was helping her out of the carriage when they first arrived and somehow did a poor job, causing her to slip, I could maybe see that. Maybe he could spill a drink on her instead, that seems more likely. You've left me hanging with wondering how he is now dead and whether this is going to be a Caroline and Louise buddy comedy or something.
Do do like that you are writing a Caroline-centric story from her point of view and I like the touch about her causing her own downfall with the letter to Lady Catherine. I like it when she is displayed as a complex character, rather than a caricature. You can do something with the theme of pride and prejudice with helping her character to realize that she's been prejudiced to think certain people are beneath her due to an unearned pride.
I think this story has some promise, but I'm going to suggest something radical to fix it. You keep repeating "the odds weren't in her favor" and this keeps making me think of the Hunger Games "may the odds ever be in your favor" so maybe, just maybe you could rewrite this as a Hunger Games cross-over. I think Caroline would be a rich woman from the capital who pays for Finnick's favors, wishes he was the one true love he addresses in the 2nd book in the interviews before the victors go back into the arena, sees her own prejudices and tries to be more than what she is.
As for the story as it stands, it has some glaring historical inaccuracies. Caroline would never be practicing bowing. Women didn't bow, they curtsied (I'm only in my 40s and was taught to curtsy as a child; it is a relevantly recent phenomenon that woman have started bowing like men). Maidens did not bear bright colors like the red ball gown you have her preparing to wear. Only married women dressed in bright colors.
I also can't imagine Hurst knocking Caroline into a puddle. He would be escorting her sister, not her, and I can't imagine Caroline taking a walk where it is the least bit muddy. Now if he was helping her out of the carriage when they first arrived and somehow did a poor job, causing her to slip, I could maybe see that. Maybe he could spill a drink on her instead, that seems more likely. You've left me hanging with wondering how he is now dead and whether this is going to be a Caroline and Louise buddy comedy or something.
2/11/2018 c1 
1nanciellen
Great idea for a story. You have Caroline characterized to a Tee! Thank you.
1nanciellenGreat idea for a story. You have Caroline characterized to a Tee! Thank you.
2/9/2018 c1 Deanna27
She has no one to blame but herself, however, that being said, I do feel kind of sorry for her.
She has no one to blame but herself, however, that being said, I do feel kind of sorry for her.
2/7/2018 c1 Guest
Interesting but I doubt that *Caroline* would have been allowed to stay at Rosings; she is the daughter of a tradesman and Lady Catherine would never have allowed it. Elizabeth, who was Caroline's social superior, would be acceptable because she is the daughter of a gentleman, which is vastly different.
Caroline might have had wealth but she didn't have status. Plus, I hardly think that Elizabeth would have had a 'manly walk' etc, it was pretty impossible in those dresses!
Interesting but I doubt that *Caroline* would have been allowed to stay at Rosings; she is the daughter of a tradesman and Lady Catherine would never have allowed it. Elizabeth, who was Caroline's social superior, would be acceptable because she is the daughter of a gentleman, which is vastly different.
Caroline might have had wealth but she didn't have status. Plus, I hardly think that Elizabeth would have had a 'manly walk' etc, it was pretty impossible in those dresses!
2/6/2018 c1 Guest
I love it. I hope you expand this.
I love it. I hope you expand this.
2/6/2018 c1 Guest
Very good start. I'm intrigued to see more.
Very good start. I'm intrigued to see more.
2/6/2018 c1 Guest
Repost please without the codes. Can't read it.
Repost please without the codes. Can't read it.