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for Holly Potter and the Witching World

10/29/2020 c10 Caver Floyd
It’s great to see another chapter. I remembered most of the premise of this AU too so that is a plus.

When they talk about Greyback making the wolves she turns slaves, does that mean magical contract, breaking their spirit/fear, or indoctrination from a young age?
10/27/2020 c10 onlyHUWMAN
I'm glad you chose to continue, we need trans representation in HP fics more than ever now. good on you.
10/27/2020 c1 destroyerofxx
what a fucking load of feminist trash. lol.
10/27/2020 c1 Guest
From the blurb on the archive page I was looking for something else. Perhaps how Harry coped with a 90% female world and managed to stay sane and honorable. From the intro at the beginning of this chapter, I don't believe I can get into it as it seems more self gratification than anything else so I'll pass.
4/22/2020 c1 3weirdhead
But you could have tried Alina Dumbledore or something.
3/20/2020 c8 1Honest Lunar Raven
Hey uh, Madam Nealy? I think you overwrote chapter 8 with a copy of chapter 9!

If you get around to fixing it, can you let me know so I can come read it?
1/17/2020 c2 6Quizer
Holly being tricked by Dudley in the opener of this chapter is enough to make me want to roll my eyes and look for something else to read, despite the promising summary and fascinating AU worldbuilding I saw in the last chapter.

It smacks of bad characterization. No child that has spent their entire life in a hostile environment like this would so easily fall for such a basic ploy coming from one of their primary abusers. Yeah, the degree of abuse in this AU milder than canon, especially with Dumbledore around to nip anything physical right in the bud, but Holly is still perfectly aware that she isn't wanted and that her "family"'s goal in life seems to be to make hers as difficult as possible.

Unless Dudley spent a couple weeks in advance gaslighting her into believing he might be turning into a potential friend / ally (which I don't believe was the case), Holly's hard-won paranoia should be more than enough to make her smell a rat. But that healthy paranoia, which is a valuable survival skill in the environment she has spent all her life in, is nowhere to be found.

This is a bad sign to me. I'd like this not to be a story with a gullible idiot protagonist who gets shepherded along from plot point to plot point without ever exercising agency or good judgment. This is only a single example of problematic writing in a story that otherwise shows a lot of promise, and maybe I'm making too much out of it, but for this to be the establishing character moment for our protagonist sets a worrisome precedent for the whole piece. I'll have to keep an eye on that.

Unless you as a rule refuse to rewrite already published parts of the story, I would consider changing this part to make Holly look less gullible in her introduction and set a better tone for the future. I can see that the cupboard is going to be important and that's why Holly needs to be seen trying to break into it in this chapter, but there's any number of ways you could accomplish that without her needing to fall for Dudley's cheap ploy.

Other than that, I have little to complain about. I'm impressed with how many AU differences are just casually inserted into the narration. You've clearly put a lot of thought into what this world would look like after the AU changes you've applied, and just throwing these things into dialogue or the PoV character's observations without drawing particular attention to any of it is exactly the right way to let the reader find out about the changes.

Keep up the good work!
9/10/2019 c9 Caver Floyd
Interesting story. Of course Hermione's first bit of accidentally magic would be making so she could carry more books.
8/27/2019 c9 3Hoodedgenius98
I wonder who would attract more attention Holly or Dean the Impossible girl or the new 'meat'
8/27/2019 c9 Bob
Seems to be going quite well so far! I look forward to more.
8/27/2019 c8 Bob
Huh... black Hermione. Makes sense.

I always pictured her as kind of a Greek Goddess type figure, you know... with darkly tanned semi-brown/semi-bronze skin from the summer sun. A real Athena-lookalike with wavy hair at the tri-wizard yuletide ball.

I imagine she'd look quite nice as someone with African ancestry. Does give a whole different mental image for her famous bushy hair. Honestly, I've been recruited by my friend to help her tame her hair on several occasions... and... it does not work... we even tried to have it done professionally... it does not work. Maybe she just got the unluckiest gene for hair ever, but it does not want to do anything that would make it remotely look like what she wants it to look like.
8/27/2019 c7 Bob
It's... the elder wand. Also known as the dildo of death, mostly due to the progressively larger beads along its mighty length. But also because the few witches who have... er... tried it... heh... died from the pure bliss of endless orgasms. It is said that only the true mistress of death can possibly withstand its mighty orgasmic girth.

She shall reunite the three deathly hallows, and then... be granted the slave leash of Death herself. Just... give her a moment to put her favorite corset on... she's been waiting so long she got out of practice and honestly she can't remember the laces being this hard to reach. Ah... magic... of course... silly me... there we are, all laced up. Now where is that collar and leash anyway? Third drawer? Ah! There we are.


Wait... the mistress is how old? Damn it! She's not even legal yet... better switch back into the good old reaper outfit. At least Death has time to practice lacing her corset again.
8/27/2019 c6 Bob
Wait... did she just accidentally a witch?!
8/27/2019 c4 Bob
Noooo... the mystical lesbian powers... don't trust her! She's lying... she's... she's... er... a manifestation of your scar! The wand is actually Voldemort's wand! Yes! And... you shouldn't trust her! She's trying to hide your mystical lesbian powers from you!

I've thought about it, and I'm convinced that if Cum potions don't exist already... surely Severa Snape would have made one and started an all-girls coven.
8/27/2019 c3 Bob
So uh... Basically... she's going to go to Hagwarts... er... hogwarts... thinking she has mystical lesbian powers that can open locks, animate objects, and probably everything else remotely magical include flying, teleportation, lightning bolts, fire starting and whatever.

I'm not seeing any negatives to this lol.

So I assume they don't have cauldron babies here? Like brew up a cauldron with bodily fluids and/or sperm, then for nine months keep filling it with nutrient potion while filling a second cauldron its suspended over with a immune system booster to mimic a mother's womb transferring antibodies to the baby through their blood.

Do they have cum potions? Like Brew a potion with someone's bodily fluids like blood and spit and such, then it becomes a big old pot of sperm enough to impregnate a whole coven of witches?
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