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for Holly Potter and the Witching World

1/4 c11 Syryus
Hi there,

I’m utterly disappointed fining such a great fix abandoned.
Potty, that your disappointment in JK made you stop writing.
The world and the characters are yours to play with, so who do you really punishing here? Other fans and mostly other fans.

Hope to see this great tale finished one day.

Cheers, Ron
12/31/2021 c11 Maester Rob
That was an odd take at the start of the chapter. JKR is against grown men going into women's bathrooms because they're in a dress... as are the overwhelming majority of people on the planet. Interesting start of the chapter.
12/31/2021 c11 5weirdhead
Well, these are whole a lot of twists. And loved each and every one of them. I bet Lyra is fem Sirius. Then there's lost Alexandra. How about making her a villain?
12/30/2021 c11 Caver Floyd
No matter what form the character takes, Draco will always be Draco. Lol. Glad to see an update, that last part with Dumbledore was interesting.
12/25/2021 c10 James Birdsong
This is excellent
6/3/2021 c10 Bioluminescent-Moon
This certainly has a unique premise! I love it.
10/29/2020 c10 Caver Floyd
It’s great to see another chapter. I remembered most of the premise of this AU too so that is a plus.

When they talk about Greyback making the wolves she turns slaves, does that mean magical contract, breaking their spirit/fear, or indoctrination from a young age?
10/27/2020 c10 onlyHUWMAN
I'm glad you chose to continue, we need trans representation in HP fics more than ever now. good on you.
10/27/2020 c1 destroyerofxx
what a fucking load of feminist trash. lol.
10/27/2020 c1 Guest
From the blurb on the archive page I was looking for something else. Perhaps how Harry coped with a 90% female world and managed to stay sane and honorable. From the intro at the beginning of this chapter, I don't believe I can get into it as it seems more self gratification than anything else so I'll pass.
4/22/2020 c1 weirdhead
But you could have tried Alina Dumbledore or something.
3/20/2020 c8 1Honest Lunar Raven
Hey uh, Madam Nealy? I think you overwrote chapter 8 with a copy of chapter 9!

If you get around to fixing it, can you let me know so I can come read it?
1/17/2020 c2 6Quizer
Holly being tricked by Dudley in the opener of this chapter is enough to make me want to roll my eyes and look for something else to read, despite the promising summary and fascinating AU worldbuilding I saw in the last chapter.

It smacks of bad characterization. No child that has spent their entire life in a hostile environment like this would so easily fall for such a basic ploy coming from one of their primary abusers. Yeah, the degree of abuse in this AU milder than canon, especially with Dumbledore around to nip anything physical right in the bud, but Holly is still perfectly aware that she isn't wanted and that her "family"'s goal in life seems to be to make hers as difficult as possible.

Unless Dudley spent a couple weeks in advance gaslighting her into believing he might be turning into a potential friend / ally (which I don't believe was the case), Holly's hard-won paranoia should be more than enough to make her smell a rat. But that healthy paranoia, which is a valuable survival skill in the environment she has spent all her life in, is nowhere to be found.

This is a bad sign to me. I'd like this not to be a story with a gullible idiot protagonist who gets shepherded along from plot point to plot point without ever exercising agency or good judgment. This is only a single example of problematic writing in a story that otherwise shows a lot of promise, and maybe I'm making too much out of it, but for this to be the establishing character moment for our protagonist sets a worrisome precedent for the whole piece. I'll have to keep an eye on that.

Unless you as a rule refuse to rewrite already published parts of the story, I would consider changing this part to make Holly look less gullible in her introduction and set a better tone for the future. I can see that the cupboard is going to be important and that's why Holly needs to be seen trying to break into it in this chapter, but there's any number of ways you could accomplish that without her needing to fall for Dudley's cheap ploy.

Other than that, I have little to complain about. I'm impressed with how many AU differences are just casually inserted into the narration. You've clearly put a lot of thought into what this world would look like after the AU changes you've applied, and just throwing these things into dialogue or the PoV character's observations without drawing particular attention to any of it is exactly the right way to let the reader find out about the changes.

Keep up the good work!
9/10/2019 c9 Caver Floyd
Interesting story. Of course Hermione's first bit of accidentally magic would be making so she could carry more books.
8/27/2019 c9 3Hoodedgenius98
I wonder who would attract more attention Holly or Dean the Impossible girl or the new 'meat'
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