for Spare Heir1/16/2023 c1 Sandataba
Oh, here I am, starting to wade through your fics. Only you, fanofthisfiction, could make me deviate from my pure Tenten fixation because I respect you as an author, and want to read things you write, regardless of pairing.
From a simple line in canon, you extrapolated a two chapter story, and a great one at that. Noice!
I like it. The premise makes sense, and fleshes out Yoshino's and Shikaku's characters and gives them a sweet love story that isn't the standard first-love-never-dies sort. The parts that come across as clunky are where Yoshino narrates and Shikadai simply reacts. There is a smoothening that could be done to transition between these two, I don't know how to describe exactly how to do it, but I do it with my own work innumerable times, so I can tell you I understand very well that it takes effort and just reading the same paragraphs over and over, adding or subtracting until it flows better. I am no writing prodigy, merely pedantic in how I operate.
A mentor at work advised, "Write in white heat, edit in cold blood." So, write to your heart's content, then leave your first draft to stew while you go do other things. Then revisit your work when you can look at it with fresh eyes, and be ruthless. The things you can change on the second to tenth drafts will become apparent.
But thank you for writing this and even if you don't edit it, the story is good. I learned something new and searched a bit for other stories containing theories about what was in the box, and came upon some interesting ones that also expanded on canon nicely in the way that fanfiction does when done right. Keep writing, o'fiction! (yes, I've given you a weird Irish nickname that I shall proceed to address you by from now on.)
Oh, here I am, starting to wade through your fics. Only you, fanofthisfiction, could make me deviate from my pure Tenten fixation because I respect you as an author, and want to read things you write, regardless of pairing.
From a simple line in canon, you extrapolated a two chapter story, and a great one at that. Noice!
I like it. The premise makes sense, and fleshes out Yoshino's and Shikaku's characters and gives them a sweet love story that isn't the standard first-love-never-dies sort. The parts that come across as clunky are where Yoshino narrates and Shikadai simply reacts. There is a smoothening that could be done to transition between these two, I don't know how to describe exactly how to do it, but I do it with my own work innumerable times, so I can tell you I understand very well that it takes effort and just reading the same paragraphs over and over, adding or subtracting until it flows better. I am no writing prodigy, merely pedantic in how I operate.
A mentor at work advised, "Write in white heat, edit in cold blood." So, write to your heart's content, then leave your first draft to stew while you go do other things. Then revisit your work when you can look at it with fresh eyes, and be ruthless. The things you can change on the second to tenth drafts will become apparent.
But thank you for writing this and even if you don't edit it, the story is good. I learned something new and searched a bit for other stories containing theories about what was in the box, and came upon some interesting ones that also expanded on canon nicely in the way that fanfiction does when done right. Keep writing, o'fiction! (yes, I've given you a weird Irish nickname that I shall proceed to address you by from now on.)
8/6/2021 c2 IPPY
Wow this was something!
Wow this was something!
4/15/2021 c2 Birkastan2018
Dear author, this was such a beautiful read. I loved everything about it - but most of all, I love how this humanizes Yoshino and gives dimension to her marriage. It always kind of annoyed me how canon portrayed her as this one-note shrew (but I guess I shouldn't be surprised, given how Kishi treated so many female characters in the manga...) I really appreciate how this story gave substance to Yoshino and Shikaku's marriage, and I especially love the the way Shikaku recognized Yoshino's deeply admirable characteristics (even if she wasn't as outwardly "beautiful" as Yoko). This was such a wonderful read, and as always - thank you so much for writing and sharing your stories with us!
Dear author, this was such a beautiful read. I loved everything about it - but most of all, I love how this humanizes Yoshino and gives dimension to her marriage. It always kind of annoyed me how canon portrayed her as this one-note shrew (but I guess I shouldn't be surprised, given how Kishi treated so many female characters in the manga...) I really appreciate how this story gave substance to Yoshino and Shikaku's marriage, and I especially love the the way Shikaku recognized Yoshino's deeply admirable characteristics (even if she wasn't as outwardly "beautiful" as Yoko). This was such a wonderful read, and as always - thank you so much for writing and sharing your stories with us!
1/13/2021 c2 
10lizzyknight6
Wow, I’m not afraid to say I cried. I oblivious love both Shikamaru’s parents and this fanfic is amazing! It was beautiful! Just... beautiful.
10lizzyknight6Wow, I’m not afraid to say I cried. I oblivious love both Shikamaru’s parents and this fanfic is amazing! It was beautiful! Just... beautiful.
12/22/2020 c2 18AirashiSakura
What a wonderful explanation about the 'forgotten' box! It's really emotional as well as a realistic approach. Tragedies happen in everyone's life and you showed how beautifully Yoshino and Shikaku managed to tackle and win over everything at last. Thank you for Sharing!
18AirashiSakuraWhat a wonderful explanation about the 'forgotten' box! It's really emotional as well as a realistic approach. Tragedies happen in everyone's life and you showed how beautifully Yoshino and Shikaku managed to tackle and win over everything at last. Thank you for Sharing!
9/9/2020 c1 2Kage-Shino
My silliest guess is gay porn, lol. O-O WAIT IS IT PICTURES OF MINATO AND KUSHINA HAVING SEX?
2Kage-ShinoMy silliest guess is gay porn, lol. O-O WAIT IS IT PICTURES OF MINATO AND KUSHINA HAVING SEX?
5/15/2020 c1 1FCY01
Almost 2 years later since anyone actually reviewed this, I'm rather surprised. Your story is too good to be left without any for so long, so here you are.
Your story, well let's see... is magnificent. After reading this, I questioned why this wasn't included as canon. Yoshino is a character we haven't seen much of, so her personality is open to interpretation (unless you've watched the fillers). Character expansion is very important to me, but more important is their values and reasoning. It feels me with joy that she has her own little separate adventure which develops her as a person for the better and the worse. Change is great as long as it resounds within the character, which you have truly grasped in this piece.
I'm not a great Boruto fan, but this is something special. Shikaku's personality sprung to life as I read, further reinforcing my positive opinion of him. Everything felt believable and realistic. Amazing job and thank you for your work. Well done.
1FCY01Almost 2 years later since anyone actually reviewed this, I'm rather surprised. Your story is too good to be left without any for so long, so here you are.
Your story, well let's see... is magnificent. After reading this, I questioned why this wasn't included as canon. Yoshino is a character we haven't seen much of, so her personality is open to interpretation (unless you've watched the fillers). Character expansion is very important to me, but more important is their values and reasoning. It feels me with joy that she has her own little separate adventure which develops her as a person for the better and the worse. Change is great as long as it resounds within the character, which you have truly grasped in this piece.
I'm not a great Boruto fan, but this is something special. Shikaku's personality sprung to life as I read, further reinforcing my positive opinion of him. Everything felt believable and realistic. Amazing job and thank you for your work. Well done.
7/29/2018 c2 3NaraC
I knew it! The love letters weren't for her! Ha! Lol. And I also knew this was going to be one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride. This was brilliant! I miss Shikaku so much. I wish Shikadai could've met him. The story is just heartbreaking and definitely bittersweet. I hate how Yoshino thinks so little of herself here. Anyways, I think you've scarred my heart with this one. Thanks.
3NaraCI knew it! The love letters weren't for her! Ha! Lol. And I also knew this was going to be one hell of an emotional roller coaster ride. This was brilliant! I miss Shikaku so much. I wish Shikadai could've met him. The story is just heartbreaking and definitely bittersweet. I hate how Yoshino thinks so little of herself here. Anyways, I think you've scarred my heart with this one. Thanks.
5/16/2018 c2 11darkprincess888
This...this was stunningly beautiful. My heart broke and joined again. I cannot describe in simple words about how I feel about this story. It was filling.
Thank you for sharing this with us!
Keep writing!
11darkprincess888This...this was stunningly beautiful. My heart broke and joined again. I cannot describe in simple words about how I feel about this story. It was filling.
Thank you for sharing this with us!
Keep writing!
5/16/2018 c1 darkprincess888
This is written so beautifully and I'm so curious about it! I'm hopping off to the next chapter!
Keep writing!
This is written so beautifully and I'm so curious about it! I'm hopping off to the next chapter!
Keep writing!
4/6/2018 c2 3Konoha's Springtime Angel
I love this fanfic! It's very nice to see how all the Naras interact with each other as well as Yoshino and Shikaku's backstory, since they weren't given too much insight in canon. In addition, you describe everything very well, too! Your imagery is very beautiful...you definitely have a gift. Keep up the great work!
3Konoha's Springtime AngelI love this fanfic! It's very nice to see how all the Naras interact with each other as well as Yoshino and Shikaku's backstory, since they weren't given too much insight in canon. In addition, you describe everything very well, too! Your imagery is very beautiful...you definitely have a gift. Keep up the great work!
4/3/2018 c2 10UndercaringUnderpaidNarrator
Since I was away from Fanfiction for a while, I forgot how absolutely mature and amazing your writing is. It feels so natural and immersive when you're using the narrative to tell details like ''[Shikamaru] rarely ask[ing] things" of Shikadai and when you're telling stories through lengthy dialogue like in this chapter. And I believe every word of the story as if it were cannon. Hell, I even went on the Narutopedia Wiki before I typed that sentence just in case there was some truth to your fic. And implementing the box, something from the cannon full of mystery as a center to the story, it's just... wow. Wow.
I remember I found this profile via Regret all those years back, and it's even more amazing than I remember. There so much I want to say that I can't even figure out how to say it. So much realism and emotion, just the right amount of detail to paint a picture without slogging on. It feels like you're so confident in this narrative that I can't question the words for a minute. The dialogue is natural, even when it's setting up the conflict between Shikamaru and Yoshino in the first chapter.
Just
Wow.
I can't
Wow.
Writing goals.
10UndercaringUnderpaidNarratorSince I was away from Fanfiction for a while, I forgot how absolutely mature and amazing your writing is. It feels so natural and immersive when you're using the narrative to tell details like ''[Shikamaru] rarely ask[ing] things" of Shikadai and when you're telling stories through lengthy dialogue like in this chapter. And I believe every word of the story as if it were cannon. Hell, I even went on the Narutopedia Wiki before I typed that sentence just in case there was some truth to your fic. And implementing the box, something from the cannon full of mystery as a center to the story, it's just... wow. Wow.
I remember I found this profile via Regret all those years back, and it's even more amazing than I remember. There so much I want to say that I can't even figure out how to say it. So much realism and emotion, just the right amount of detail to paint a picture without slogging on. It feels like you're so confident in this narrative that I can't question the words for a minute. The dialogue is natural, even when it's setting up the conflict between Shikamaru and Yoshino in the first chapter.
Just
Wow.
I can't
Wow.
Writing goals.
3/15/2018 c2 Guest
This story is great and worth reading! It was beautifully depicted.
This story is great and worth reading! It was beautifully depicted.
3/2/2018 c2 227Rose-Aki
I really liked how we got an insight in Yoshino and Shikaku's relationship and how they came to be. It was great to read about it and you displayed everyone's emotions so well. Also I really loved the way Yoshino and Shikadai interacted. Wonderful story :)
227Rose-AkiI really liked how we got an insight in Yoshino and Shikaku's relationship and how they came to be. It was great to read about it and you displayed everyone's emotions so well. Also I really loved the way Yoshino and Shikadai interacted. Wonderful story :)
2/28/2018 c2 37Tuvstarr's lost heart
Wow. I loved this so much. Her story, it had so many humane elements, from resentment to jealousy and insecurities, something we all struggle with from time to time, and yet she managed to overcome them and see the changed meaning of the love letters and how much her husband loved her.
This was absolutely wonderful to read. Thank you for giving us this insight into Yoshino and Shikaku's life
37Tuvstarr's lost heartWow. I loved this so much. Her story, it had so many humane elements, from resentment to jealousy and insecurities, something we all struggle with from time to time, and yet she managed to overcome them and see the changed meaning of the love letters and how much her husband loved her.
This was absolutely wonderful to read. Thank you for giving us this insight into Yoshino and Shikaku's life