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for Every Breath You Take

4/9/2018 c1 45Igenlode Wordsmith
The idea of Erik let loose on modern surveillance technology is definitely alarming! And the unwanted gifts that keep piling up in her flat... inasmuch as it *is* hers...

I note that he apparently drives a Rolls Royce 'Phantom' :-D

A neat explanation of why in the modern age Christine can't just go to the police: Erik has protection in high places since he is far too useful to the Government :-(

I wonder how she can be certain he doesn't have cameras in her bedroom as well? Or does she take care always to change her clothes in the bathroom?

"a diva who had mobbed her at the opera" - it's still "bullied", not "mobbed" :-)
("mobbed" is what happens to a hawk when a flock of small birds try to drive it off, or by analogy what happens to a star with lots of eager fans)

Christine sees herself as his pet: a bird in a gilded cage :-(

I didn't think this end section from Erik's point of view worked very well, I'm afraid: we have already read in so many fanfictions how much Erik adores Christine and it doesn't really add to the story, while it tends to undermine the effectiveness of Christine's discomfort at the end of the main section :-(
3/8/2018 c1 41AmadErik
AmadErik here. I would like to congratulate you on the first prize winning of the V-day contest! It was well-deserved and you are a great writer. Never forget you are awesome.
3/4/2018 c1 27CharlieBoneFan
Good job!
2/20/2018 c1 phantomphangirl352
This was a little dark but I still enjoyed it
2/18/2018 c1 12ghostwritten2
This is really well done. Poor Christine feels so trapped and Erik has no idea he's doing anything wrong. Creepy and atmospheric and great.
2/16/2018 c1 11emeraldphan
This is very different to the stories you usually write but I really enjoyed this take on the modern story. I liked how you built up a sense of dread, with all the unwanted presents and the fact that Erik is spying on her all the time... A modern Erik has a huge variety of "toys" to help him keep an eye on "his" Christine...
And of course, he's spying on that very conversation! It's very typical that he sees the situation in a completely different way and can't understand that what he's doing is wrong. It's a very dark story with no way out for Christine and no help from anyone.
2/16/2018 c1 41AmadErik
Wow! Modern day setting I really enjoy it. Erik would really love modern technique. people can talk to each other without the need of showing themselves and can make money online. it is a big trend over youtube to wear something to cover your face anyway so you can get rid of fans stopping you all the time.I like this modern day setting very much so and Erik is so rich and caringLol as he is in modern day now tell him to come here lol
2/12/2018 c1 Dkk5
Great take with the song! I love how original it is! Different, dark and creepy, well done! You wrote all of Christine’s emotions very well in a one-shot. Oh Erik, so creepy and confused.
2/12/2018 c1 MyNina
'Every breath you take" could have been written by Erik himself, what a fitting song in your story!
The original novel is definitely far away from any romance between Erik ans Christine, this is more about obsession and control over the young woman.
I absolutely enjoyed your dark and creepy story which would take no happy end after reading Erik' s point of view...
Great work, hope to read more from you soon!
2/11/2018 c1 labdelmar
Dark and creepy is my favorite. Fitting use of the song. I wonder what would happen if Christine really confronted him about it...
2/11/2018 c1 10angelofnight
I love it. Someone knows the dark origin of the song. Lots of people do of course but it's still a wedding song!
2/11/2018 c1 28Not A Ghost3
This was so good! Perfectly in character and just a bit dark. Christine and Erik's "relationship reminds me of Jessica Jones and Kilgrave in this one-shot, just less abusive...or maybe what really made me think that was that last line about smiling! Anyway- very good!

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