for RWBY vs JNPR10/7/2021 c1 Kyuubi-Titan
Ok, this amuses me greatly. Ren speaking churches lines...priceless. Now if Weiss is a mini Sarge...
Ok, this amuses me greatly. Ren speaking churches lines...priceless. Now if Weiss is a mini Sarge...
5/23/2018 c1 
10SECUREZONEICON
Yes Yang is dead, she went out same way she came in. Laying down on her belly trying to get someone else to do her work for her-Weiss "Sarge" Schnee
10SECUREZONEICONYes Yang is dead, she went out same way she came in. Laying down on her belly trying to get someone else to do her work for her-Weiss "Sarge" Schnee
5/4/2018 c1 1OriginStoryPilot
While I haven't actually watched Red v Blue, it wasn't a bad read.
I like your details and the humor in it (although I think some of its lost on me since I haven't seen RVB) and I really appreciate how good your grammar is.
some constructive criticism would be to watch your end quotations, like when Yang says "Yeah, I mean, what's with that" and in the beginning paragraph. (the only time you don't use an end quote is when someones sentence continues into the next paragraph)
The only other thing I would critique, and honestly this is just more of a preference for me so don't feel like you have to change it, is lengthy description paragraphs. I understand you have to explain what characters look like and think like in the beginning of a story, but maybe explain how the characters act more gradually through their body language and how they speak?
Honestly, none of this is that big of an issue, the story is really good so far and I'll be interested to see where it goes.
(Also liked the song btw)
1OriginStoryPilotWhile I haven't actually watched Red v Blue, it wasn't a bad read.
I like your details and the humor in it (although I think some of its lost on me since I haven't seen RVB) and I really appreciate how good your grammar is.
some constructive criticism would be to watch your end quotations, like when Yang says "Yeah, I mean, what's with that" and in the beginning paragraph. (the only time you don't use an end quote is when someones sentence continues into the next paragraph)
The only other thing I would critique, and honestly this is just more of a preference for me so don't feel like you have to change it, is lengthy description paragraphs. I understand you have to explain what characters look like and think like in the beginning of a story, but maybe explain how the characters act more gradually through their body language and how they speak?
Honestly, none of this is that big of an issue, the story is really good so far and I'll be interested to see where it goes.
(Also liked the song btw)
2/25/2018 c1 5Mecharic
Oh boy! This is gonna be fun to read!
Yang as Simmons! Blake as Griff! Weiss as, pfft, Sarge! Pffft! Ruby as Donut!
Jaune as Tucker, I woulda figured him for Caboose... Ren as Church I can get though. Nora as Caboose, or Nora as Tex? Probably Caboose. Pyrrha is the best Tex.
I have high hopes for this one lol
5MecharicOh boy! This is gonna be fun to read!
Yang as Simmons! Blake as Griff! Weiss as, pfft, Sarge! Pffft! Ruby as Donut!
Jaune as Tucker, I woulda figured him for Caboose... Ren as Church I can get though. Nora as Caboose, or Nora as Tex? Probably Caboose. Pyrrha is the best Tex.
I have high hopes for this one lol
2/23/2018 c1 27the Composcreator
please tell me this is like the other story of similar premise! it's called JNPR Vs RWBY!
27the Composcreatorplease tell me this is like the other story of similar premise! it's called JNPR Vs RWBY!
2/17/2018 c1 Duke
Have Nora play as Tex that would be interesting.
Have Nora play as Tex that would be interesting.
2/16/2018 c1 Crimson
Ayy Ren is Church and I wonder who's his Tex
Ayy Ren is Church and I wonder who's his Tex
2/16/2018 c1 L.Cman
So Ruby is Donut, Nora is Caboose and Pyrrha is Tex. Does that mean Lopez will be Penny. So who’s Flowers... and Wyoming...
So Ruby is Donut, Nora is Caboose and Pyrrha is Tex. Does that mean Lopez will be Penny. So who’s Flowers... and Wyoming...