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for The Troubling Mind Of A Wolf

3/2/2018 c1 21Nail Strafer
I do enjoy Wolf-focused fics a lot, since he's also my favorite character in the Star Fox series. So that's why this story caught my eye. I think the story could be better though. Please don't take this review too hard. I only want to help you improve.

I do like getting Wolf's POV in this story. It's not often he's the main character of any stories around here, unless say you're writing Fox X Wolf that is. However, most of the story is just a description of Wolf's actions or his surroundings. Usually the reason you do POV fics is so we can get a better look inside the character's thoughts. I would have liked it more if the story was longer and focused more on what Wolf was thinking. 2.5K words isn't that long, so I wouldn't mind this story going a little longer.

So this is post-Assault, and Command never happened. And Fox wants to be good friends with Star Wolf because...why? That's not impossible to believe though. I've done a fic or two like that. But you need to explain better why the characters are acting this way, because this isn't how they act in the games. What changed between Star Fox and Star Wolf since Assault? Did Star Wolf get credit for their actions during the Aparoid Invasion and that's why Fox was able to get their bounties removed? I could believe Fox doing that much at least.

However, while Fox and Wolf clearly have respect for each other as Assault shows, I wouldn't say they're good friends. I figure they'd be content to stay out of each other's way. Fox is obviously already good friends with his Star Fox teammates, so I don't know why he'd feel the need to bring Star Wolf into his circle. Long story short, you need to explain better why Fox suddenly wants to be best buds with his old time rivals.

Also, why would Star Fox and Star Wolf have homes in a city? And they live a short distance from each other too? Did they retire from mercenary work? Because I figure they'd be spending most of their time living in space to make it easier to do their jobs.

Not to mention, where's Slippy, Peppy, Falco, and Krystal? Hah, I think it'd be kind of awkward at McCloud's house if Panther was over there and he was still chasing after Krystal.

What was that game that Fox was showing Wolf? I'm actually really curious, but then you don't say the game's name, or tell us what the game is about. I feel like it would have been pretty interesting if we found out what kind of games Wolf likes to play, to be honest with you.

Overall, I feel like this story needs to have more details than you gave us.

I'm glad you pointed out English isn't your first language. Otherwise I probably would have complained a lot more about the grammar and spelling. Writing in English can be intimidating even if it's your native language, so I'd say you're quite brave writing this story. Very impressive. I definitely couldn't write fics in Spanish.
3/1/2018 c1 A5trisk
There were a few grammar and spelling errors that I noticed and I'll pm those to you later as I'm at work at the moment. Overall though I really enjoyed this and hope there might be a continuation later on.

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