for The Next Step7/5/2007 c1 
28Grissina
I'd love you te reply this, I need help to understand this one. I don't get who is who. Who's explaining the story?
Is so sad... I don't like very much sucide stories. I don't like when someone dies.
28GrissinaI'd love you te reply this, I need help to understand this one. I don't get who is who. Who's explaining the story?
Is so sad... I don't like very much sucide stories. I don't like when someone dies.
3/29/2003 c1 18Mayumi
O.O murderer! wah~! no! live micchy! live! don't die! don't die! merc-san~! *glomp* T_T it's such... a nice fic... wah!
18MayumiO.O murderer! wah~! no! live micchy! live! don't die! don't die! merc-san~! *glomp* T_T it's such... a nice fic... wah!
3/28/2003 c1 26Hisashi Loves Yelen
How...can...you...let...him...DIE! NO! MITCHY MY DARLING! COME BACK!
Okay, crap aside. Pretty good fic. Heartfelt. I liked the introductory paragraphs a lot; they were what got me reading the whole thing. Unfortunately, it seems as though you forgot to spell and grammar check. It's a shame as some of your grammatical errors distracted me from the emotions you're creating in the fic. Also, it seemed a little sudden for Norio to unplug the life support from Mitsui. You could've built up on that somemore.
I seriously dig the first paragraph though. Very well-written. It's refreshing to read a fic from one of the minor characters's point of view. I don't quite understand what happened to my darling though. Did he attempt suicide or was it an accidental overdose?
On the whole, it's a good fic. Kudos.
(proof-read your fics in the future though!)
26Hisashi Loves YelenHow...can...you...let...him...DIE! NO! MITCHY MY DARLING! COME BACK!
Okay, crap aside. Pretty good fic. Heartfelt. I liked the introductory paragraphs a lot; they were what got me reading the whole thing. Unfortunately, it seems as though you forgot to spell and grammar check. It's a shame as some of your grammatical errors distracted me from the emotions you're creating in the fic. Also, it seemed a little sudden for Norio to unplug the life support from Mitsui. You could've built up on that somemore.
I seriously dig the first paragraph though. Very well-written. It's refreshing to read a fic from one of the minor characters's point of view. I don't quite understand what happened to my darling though. Did he attempt suicide or was it an accidental overdose?
On the whole, it's a good fic. Kudos.
(proof-read your fics in the future though!)