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3/9/2018 c1 GenX567
Ignore or block Emlo. They don't even read past the first chapter. They have ended hundreds of stories in the past ten years and start arguments with the writers of said stories They are a thirn in everyone's side.

your stories great.
3/2/2018 c1 22St Elmo's Fire
You might want to pick a more original title. There are quite literally thousands of titles in this category that are variations on, if not identical to, this one.

[Join Mia and her best friend Ralph in a adventure of a life time in the world of Pokemon!]

You want “an adventure”, and summaries need to tell us more than just the genre. What’s your plot?

[P.S this is a made up verse with made up Pokemon in it.]

That’s generally unwise unless you are extremely good at description or have illustrations, as a big draw of pokemon are their appearances.

You wouldn’t capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn’t capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you’re using it as the pokemon’s name, ie, Ash’s pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it’s a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you’re thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or champion. Before you message me about this, please look at fanfiction (d o t) net/topic/11834/55376155/1/Capitalization-Thread to make sure your argument hasn’t already been addressed.

You’re formatting dialogue incorrectly. Dialogue is written as [“Hello,” she said] or [“Hello!” she said], never [“Hello.” She said] or [“Hello”, she said] or [“Hello” she said]. This is because dialogue and speech tags are considered to be part of the same sentence, so they have to flow together. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn’t contain a speech verb. In that case, the second part IS considered a separate sentence, so it’s written as [“Hello.” She grinned], never [“Hello,” she grinned]. Note that something isn’t a speech verb just because it’s a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like “laughed” or “giggled” is in the second category. (“Speak” is also not a speech verb.) Furthermore, if you’re breaking up two complete sentences it’s [“Hi,” she said. “This is it.”] not [“Hi,” she said, “this is it.”] or [“Hi,” she said “this is it.”] And if you’re breaking up a sentence in the middle, it’s [“Hi. This,” she said, “is it.”] The same punctuation and capitalization rules apply to thoughts, except you don’t use quotation marks (or single quotes) with thoughts. This is because quotation marks for thoughts make it look like your characters are talking out loud, which is confusing to the reader.

Chapters need to be longer than this. Try harder.

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