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for The Fire Alarm

5/27/2018 c1 131signelchan
I’m one of those people who kind of accidentally clicks on things while idling on screens, and chances are if I’m clicking on a profile on accident on the forum it’s yours. I guess it had been a while since I last clicked it and actually looked at it, because it really caught me by surprise to see that you had a fic posted I hadn’t even known about—so here’s me making it up to you by kind of reading it without even telling you I was going to. Y’know, like a sneeky sneek or whatever the hell it is I try to be sometimes.
Ahem.
Actual reviewing, not chitchatting.
I think I’ve said this before to you (I could check old reviews to see if I have, but I’m sure I said it somewhere that isn’t a review as well), but I love the way you write Severa in all her glory. She’s fun to write and even more fun to read when she’s been written well, and it always makes me smile to see how you write her. In this, you definitely get her down in a matter of sentences, making it very clear that she’s done something stupid and wrong, she /knows/ she’s done something stupid and wrong, and she doesn’t want anyone else knowing that she’s done something stupid and wrong. But this is Severa we’re talking about, she’s going to have her mistakes come bite her sooner rather than later.
Oh yeah, there’s how it bites her: the culprit of the wrongdoing needs to fess up, and she’s in the presence of friends who are actively shit-talking the culprit (not knowing it’s her, naturally). By the way, as an aside, you write all those friends about as well as you write Severa, and yes I am gonna make special note of the fact that you included, like, the best bunch of “friends” for her in this. But back to the biting thing, she’s supposed to own up to what she’s done and she doesn’t because her name is Huge Bitch Severa and she doesn’t want people to know that she’s the one who did the stupid and wrong thing that has them all standing out in the cold. She goes as far as to act hypocritical (your phrasing, not mine, but it’s true) about the whole thing, even though she could solve the problem by not being Huge Bitch and instead owning up to what she’s done!
Cynthia’s a cutie, moving on.
Kjelle’s basically perfect, not moving on from that emotionally but for the sake of the review I’ll say we’re moving on.
Inigo and Gerome are great, still moving on.
No wait all of these guys are amazing, their chatter is pretty natural based on who they are and you do a great job of making them feel like themselves as they’re standing there talking to pass the time in the cold. And then Severa starts saying things that could impact her image in a different way, like damn girl you really need to watch what you’re doing because you are screwing up all the things at this point.
Anyway so then the bribe happens and I genuinely chuckled at Gerome being all worried about something he had left out, because he’s normally that stoic prick that doesn’t seem to be bothered by anything but then you remember that no, he’s not as stoic as you think and he does in fact have those Things about him. But we don’t dwell on that too much because Severa finally owns up to what she did, she gets out of there being any issues, /and/ she manages to get back to her friends without them suspecting a thing. Oh, and she gets to show off her earrings and use them (and her mother, I guess) as a coverup to save her dignity. Because that’s exactly what Cordelia needs, to be her daughter’s permanent scapegoat in all situation, huh?
You can definitely tell that the ending was tacked on to give the story a finish, but that’s okay because it wraps up the strings you presented and ties them into a cute little bow that finishes the story. It comes with a good lesson as well, not to get distracted while cooking. Or, if you want, not to be Huge Bitch Severa.
I enjoyed reading this and I hope you remember that I’m always down for reading anything like this you end up putting out there, you’re a top-notch writer and I’ve got nothing but respect for you and your kickass writing ability. I know you don’t write much anymore but I hope my enjoyment of your writing reminds you that you’re actually really good at this c:

Manda

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