for Souls Apart11/4/2019 c1 Karina2244
I haven't read any Twilight FanFiction for a while, but this makes me want to jump right back into it. Thanks for writing and sharing!
I haven't read any Twilight FanFiction for a while, but this makes me want to jump right back into it. Thanks for writing and sharing!
6/7/2019 c1 Blueboot55
This is a very good story. Love the dialogue.
This is a very good story. Love the dialogue.
5/29/2019 c1 twi nana
ok, just came here from a twifandom news rec, and loved this, yes, I just followed and faved you too. looking forward to the rest of this story...and will start reading the other when you hit complete, loved the way you worked the mate bond, AND THE BLOODLUST IN THIS ONE!
ok, just came here from a twifandom news rec, and loved this, yes, I just followed and faved you too. looking forward to the rest of this story...and will start reading the other when you hit complete, loved the way you worked the mate bond, AND THE BLOODLUST IN THIS ONE!
4/24/2019 c1 Debbie Hicks
2 Chapter 2. Alice Help me Crap yiu ae going in plak tav linked with him hen that Carlisle horrified of the Teenage Ocapan ears wre Pointed Robes from the NASA Bodysuit wearing Vulcan Religious temple jewelry hands Neck Hair with Sliced bangs in a Vulcan colif the Doctor She is going in pon, farr it is a Vulcan time of mating sdaying the Logic in Ancient Vulcan tongues where yiu learn to chant She remained Chaste but a Burst of light shooting forced her to be Drawn to her as for our days as for our tomorrows as it is today but it is now to you my husband it shall be ho Am I shall Make my Choice This One! finger pointed Edward was seeing a Vulcan priestess bound to the Temple of Mount Seleya as a a Acolyte of Gold handmaiden right at him acted very strangely her eyebrows were Arched in a slant one turned up but higher raised jeweled hand vowed t'll marriage to Hera sister-wife and holy queen of Mount Olympus co-ruler made her a priestess Sir! She is Swearing Vows of Celibacy looks like in her twenties gasp Alice you look from the planet Vulcan with pointed ears and slanted eyebrows meet my cadre of Acolytes hair/bangs were loose longer with Bree as T'Suna were bound in religious service as Priestesses were in fact female priests trained in religious duties and served to them were born with powers were not humans created a AD To recruit young women to serve as maidens like on Vulcan were showing planetary powers caused a lot of words in as all of languages.
2 Chapter 2. Alice Help me Crap yiu ae going in plak tav linked with him hen that Carlisle horrified of the Teenage Ocapan ears wre Pointed Robes from the NASA Bodysuit wearing Vulcan Religious temple jewelry hands Neck Hair with Sliced bangs in a Vulcan colif the Doctor She is going in pon, farr it is a Vulcan time of mating sdaying the Logic in Ancient Vulcan tongues where yiu learn to chant She remained Chaste but a Burst of light shooting forced her to be Drawn to her as for our days as for our tomorrows as it is today but it is now to you my husband it shall be ho Am I shall Make my Choice This One! finger pointed Edward was seeing a Vulcan priestess bound to the Temple of Mount Seleya as a a Acolyte of Gold handmaiden right at him acted very strangely her eyebrows were Arched in a slant one turned up but higher raised jeweled hand vowed t'll marriage to Hera sister-wife and holy queen of Mount Olympus co-ruler made her a priestess Sir! She is Swearing Vows of Celibacy looks like in her twenties gasp Alice you look from the planet Vulcan with pointed ears and slanted eyebrows meet my cadre of Acolytes hair/bangs were loose longer with Bree as T'Suna were bound in religious service as Priestesses were in fact female priests trained in religious duties and served to them were born with powers were not humans created a AD To recruit young women to serve as maidens like on Vulcan were showing planetary powers caused a lot of words in as all of languages.
1/6/2019 c1 
24ZadArchie
So dreadfully sorry for the lateness of this review. I’ve been horrible about keeping up with WA challenge pieces.
Certainly a lot of characters to keep up with, but I think you handled the all-dialogue element well enough that I was able to keep track of who was who. I’ve heard of these kinds of stories with the idea of genuine “soul mates,” but I’ve never read one before. This was an interesting first foray into the theme, so thank you for introducing me to it.
Best,
Zad
24ZadArchieSo dreadfully sorry for the lateness of this review. I’ve been horrible about keeping up with WA challenge pieces.
Certainly a lot of characters to keep up with, but I think you handled the all-dialogue element well enough that I was able to keep track of who was who. I’ve heard of these kinds of stories with the idea of genuine “soul mates,” but I’ve never read one before. This was an interesting first foray into the theme, so thank you for introducing me to it.
Best,
Zad
10/25/2018 c1 Guest
I think you need more than just dialogue for a more rounded strory.
I think you need more than just dialogue for a more rounded strory.
6/22/2018 c1 Jenn
I love this plot! I hope you do circle back it would be great!
I love this plot! I hope you do circle back it would be great!
5/14/2018 c1 Blistful2006
I really hope you expand this after Repetitive Dreams. Also interesting and the whole having to touch for her pain to go away and his blood lust wonder how it would work once they let go and everything else down the line. Hmm interesting indeed.
I really hope you expand this after Repetitive Dreams. Also interesting and the whole having to touch for her pain to go away and his blood lust wonder how it would work once they let go and everything else down the line. Hmm interesting indeed.
4/28/2018 c1 150rebecca-in-blue
Hi, here from the all/no dialogue challenge. This is one of the few entries where I'm not fandom-blind, but even knowing the characters, I found it hard to get invested in the plot. There's a lot of dialogue, but also a lot of characters, and their lines are all fairly short, which makes it difficult for their emotions to come through. I don't think their voices are especially distinct, either, and the cast size draws more attention to this. I would suggest editing out one or two of the Cullens, which would also help to keep your focus tighter on Edward and Bella; as is, the focus feels kinda all over the place, and some scenes go on too long. For example, Alice introducing Bella to Emmett; the descriptions of his appearance and where he's standing slow down the plot, rather than contribute to it.
There are also a lot of punctuation errors throughout; I could overlook some comma splices, since that's how dialogue sounds sometimes, but there are also a lot of missing commas, apostrophes for plurals, incorrect dialogue tags, etc. The "Do. Not. Get." and ALL-CAPS shouting are pretty messy-looking, too.
150rebecca-in-blueHi, here from the all/no dialogue challenge. This is one of the few entries where I'm not fandom-blind, but even knowing the characters, I found it hard to get invested in the plot. There's a lot of dialogue, but also a lot of characters, and their lines are all fairly short, which makes it difficult for their emotions to come through. I don't think their voices are especially distinct, either, and the cast size draws more attention to this. I would suggest editing out one or two of the Cullens, which would also help to keep your focus tighter on Edward and Bella; as is, the focus feels kinda all over the place, and some scenes go on too long. For example, Alice introducing Bella to Emmett; the descriptions of his appearance and where he's standing slow down the plot, rather than contribute to it.
There are also a lot of punctuation errors throughout; I could overlook some comma splices, since that's how dialogue sounds sometimes, but there are also a lot of missing commas, apostrophes for plurals, incorrect dialogue tags, etc. The "Do. Not. Get." and ALL-CAPS shouting are pretty messy-looking, too.