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6/12/2018 c2 Axccel
You really need to describe...uh, everything. Spacing between end of quote and start of other text. Use proper capitalization. Use commas.

Also, chapters need to be longer. A chapter should be a whole “idea”. For example one chapter could be “Ragna fails to save people for the last time” all the way to “finishes slaughtering Grimm and has puzzled out something about them and goes exploring” up to ending the chapter at the point when he reaches civilization or settles down for a base or something.
6/2/2018 c8 Neema Amiry
4/30/2018 c6 2Gerhman Remington
honestly its one of the only things I could think of with a semblance for Ragna without it hearing generic or too hard to write and don't worry he won't be using his persona too often and let me just say this he only has 3 personas Orpheus, Thanatos, and Messiah he can't get other personas either
4/30/2018 c6 Neema Amiry
why persona
4/29/2018 c3 Gerhman Remington
forget about my old comment I removed the old chapter 3 the new chapter three is start line
4/27/2018 c6 Neema Amiry
I can't wait for more
4/24/2018 c5 Neema Amiry
4/24/2018 c4 Neema Amiry
4/24/2018 c3 Gerhman Remington
inore the 3 chapter its wasent supposed to be their can't remove it though
4/22/2018 c2 Gerhman Remington
honestly I wanted to try to have a good reason to why remment is like that and also did I put a bit too much for the first ghost to say or should I spread the plot around the other three ghosts?
4/22/2018 c2 Neema Amiry
I don't know how I feel about this
4/20/2018 c1 Neema Amiry
4/19/2018 c1 Axccel
Just make the changes you need or want and then post it up again for us. The summary is interesting. Though, please do not start a summary with "What if". It nearly always indicates that the fic will suck. There are a few popular and famous fics that started their summaries that way, but the vast majority tend to just be baaaaad. So, people skip over them with the assumption that it will threaten to melt their eyes and kill their brain-cells.
4/15/2018 c1 Hn
Chapters need to be shorter I kept losing where I was at. Although I did manage to finish it, I had difficulties. I also had difficulties understanding the plot but not really. ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)
3/30/2018 c1 EzioIsPIRATE
Dear god, reading this thing's a chore.

Try using quotation marks when you write a conversation.
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