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for Saiyan Tail

12/26/2020 c43 1Joeclone
This one was very good! Lots of hints to what’s been happening over the past year offscreen! Genora and Rogue are in a relationship? Gorun is doing real estate? Gray and Yukino broke up and Juvia is marrying Lyon? Just, so much has changed! I think it’s good for this story though.

But without Natsu, how is this war going to play out? I got nothing. This story isn’t as easy to make predictions on because I still haven’t finished the show. (Only at the part where Gajeel and Levy fight Bloodman).

Merry Christmas Mataras! So happy to see updates to all your current stories! (Red Swordsman Abridged aside)
12/5/2020 c42 Joeclone
Wow this was quite a doozy. Vajra is super scary! Loved all the action!
12/1/2020 c42 2Cy Man
That was an interesting way to settle this big fight and to drop that bomb shell of a plot twist, and this chapter was fairly shorter than usual so it went by very quickly in my opinion.

First off, while the fights themselves were fun to read, there were a lot of moments that really tipped the intelligence scale, especially regarding Kaidon, as usual. The main issues are the masks and the kid's bloodlust as SSJ4, and let's start with the former.

I can understand the masks being unbreakable, especially given that the first Xenoverse protag wears one that doesn't break, but you'd think that Kaidon and Azura would come to the conclusion that if they couldn't break the masks then why not try to forcefully take them off? That shouldn't have been hard to figure out, even with the kid's bloodlust, which we'll get to next now.

This is the same problem I had with Kaidon back before he even gained SSJ2, where he was so deranged just from the basic Super Saiyan form when he supposedly had the form for a long time and yet never negated the behavior change. Not bothering to train up the form at all for a full year? That's a bit hard to swallow, let alone Kaidon even having a bloodlust that severe. While it is true that the form influences the users somewhat, it shouldn't be of that extent given that when Goku and Vegeta first gained the form, both in GT and in the altered timeline where they were doing their God training, they were in control of their behavior even when fresh in the form. So I really can't understand how Kaidon could lose control like that.

Speaking of SSJ4, you keep referring to the form as primordial, which is honestly not correct. As the adjective of the word is "existing at or from the beginning of time", and biologically it means "in the earliest stage of development", and since Saiyans didn't evolve FROM that form into their current states that really isn't the proper term for it as Saiyans evolve TO the form. So honestly, given the appearance and prowess of the form, primal would be the better to call it, as well as referring to SSJ4 as an extended evolution given that it is a different form of Super Saiyan compared to the main 3 and the God forms.

Lastly, given all the changes to the timeline and now with the interference of the Time Breakers, I can believe that the timeline could relapse and tear its dimension and alternate timelines apart if it were to happen. But hearing that the true stakes at cost is the current timeline's existence with the threat of Chronoa giving it a factory reset should Fairy Tail fail to stop the Time Breakers really drills it deep. But while I think that it's cool that Future Lucy and Future Levy are now involved with this, I think it's a bit pushing it for them to be discharged from their service in the Time Patrol even with having a good service record. If anything, I feel like they should still remain in service, but be allowed to come and go as they please when they're not on missions, researching, or teaching, but that's my opinion on the matter.

Only thing I have to say about Vajra is that I can't wait till Fu gets the jump on him by selling him out to the Time Patrol.

Anyway, can't wait to see what you come up with next chapter, which if it is mostly the welcome back party then I'll expect a lot of cheese. So keep up the good work and stay safe, man!
11/2/2020 c41 Cy Man
That was an interesting read, lots going on here, both entertaining and questionable, but nothing really bad.

As most of the chapter consists of that fight with Avatar which was fun but didn't really have anything that stood out and worth commenting on, I'll focus on everything else that is.

At first I got angry over Asura's apparent betrayal to work with Avatar, getting flashbacks over how much of a blood thirsty bitch she was then, but then I remembered that Gray, Gajeel, Levy and I think one other person were undercover in the cult so those feelings quickly went away.

It was nice to see Kaidon and Azura go Rosè and Blue respectively. But my only slight disinterment with that part, mainly with the former, is that even though I correctly predicted Kaidon getting Super Saiyan Rosè, I wish you didn't include it in the Xeno arc so that way it would've been a surprise to see him have it here but because of the Xeno arc that surprise is lost. The other thing about it is that I wish that everyone had better reactions to the form, such as Golden Tail and Team Natsu questioning about it and even making the comparison between Super Saiyan Rosè and Wendy's Dragon Force, given that Wendy's hair spikes like a Super Saiyan and is pink like the Rosè form.

So now the Time Breakers are making themselves known, huh? Interesting, I can understand Cumber being here, King Vegeta is an interesting choice, but why Bardock? That was already done before, honestly I think Goku Black or Giblet from Dragon Ball Legends would be better choices, in my opinion. And about King Vegeta, he isn't short like his son, he's much taller than him and Bardock so that needs to be a quick fix.

This chapter did give me two things I need to mentally block though.

The first one being having Wendy aged up, cause like I said before it is very unnecessary to do as Wendy as a kid can still be a power house as well as having no need to be aged up just for the sake of using the 5 way fusion dance, cause like I said before as the Ginyu Force developed this version and their heights are all different yet the technique works, so while I'm reading this from this point onward I'll still see Wendy as a kid.

The second thing is Golden Tail wearing matching uniforms, cause like, why? That just takes away their individuality in appearance, especially given that most of them aren't even martial artists and it just makes Golden Tail like a cringey Power Rangers rip off. If anything, only Kinana and Rachel should have similar outfits with the former wearing a Qipao dress similar to the one Tien wears in Super, and Rachel wearing an outfit more like Goten's from the Buu saga. So like with not seeing Wendy aged up, I'm just gonna see them in their usual looks.

Besides those two things, this was a good read, and I'm definitely interested in seeing what happens next. Also you never got back to me on this, but can you check out my own Dragon Ball story and see what you think of what I got so far even if you don't know much about Tekken?

Anyway, as usual, keep up the good work, man, and stay safe!
10/31/2020 c1 Guest

Dude you talk about that when you literally have no stories. It’s his choice to nerf them if he wants it’s fanfiction. Maybe you should use your brain and realize the meaning of .
11/2/2020 c41 1Joeclone
Oh that’s right! Gorun never got to SS Blue in the story either so turning Rosé makes it consistent with the Xeno timeline! I love that! Also great job with Azura being the mole. Avatar was kinda bland compared to what I’m seeing from Alvarez. I did just start after all and I’m where Zeref lost all hesitation and is going full force after Fairy Heart. Wonder how that’ll all go down?
11/2/2020 c41 8Light Hero Kaiser
Great chapter m8 can't wait for more
11/1/2020 c40 Light Hero Kaiser
Great chapter m8 can't wait for more
10/12/2020 c2 Alzieferin
I didn't expect you to nerf him this much. No doubt your afraid to have a OP Main Character at the beginning of your fanfic.

Saying Laxus and any of the current mages of any guild can fight equally to a being that is able to destroy planets... That falls under utter stupidity.

Not only that, KI is different than mana or Ethernano. So, it has different laws than magic and will not run the same. Once again, you nerfed your Main Character, but this time it was likely Ignorance or faulty thinking.

If you don't want an OP Main Character at the beginning, just make him have a weak power level at the destruction of Planet Vegeta before having his space pod fall into a wormhole like Bardock did.

I should have known not to read this from the low amount of favorites and followers you have despite how long ago you created this.

I recommend you check and recheck your work for plot holes that make no sense and rethink a better way to explain why your MC is apparently weaker or only as powerful as those who can barely change the landscape.

Even Irene Belserion is weaker than Master Roshi when he was first made his appearance. Especially, so, when he used a most of his KI that was left to use a full powered Kamehameha to destroy a moon whereas Irene used most of her energy to simply change the landscape of a continent. He even had less than 500 Battle Power when it happened.

Please use your brain to think and reason. It is there for a reason. Maybe you can improve your fanfic... That is entirely possible!
10/7/2020 c2 3Shirosaki345
2 chapters in...and its so god damn rushed feels that and i really hate the main pairing. Like i give no shits about it its not a ship i want on
10/2/2020 c40 2Cy Man
Well that was interesting, my prediction for the ending was spot on but I'll get to the later. Even though this chapter was long, for some reason it felt short and went by too quick. There's only 3 main things to comment on, and a few nitpicks I need to say. Starting with the main points, and say some of the nitpicks if they're involved with the points.

The fight with Azura vs Cumber was interesting, even though I kinda feel it was a bit downplayed even if this is pre Prison Planet saga Cumber, also doesn't he wear a mouth mask? Cause I'm pretty sure he does ups Fu put that on after putting the straight jacket on him. Seeing Azura utilize God and Blue was cool against him was cool, but when she used Kaio-Ken I think she should've said times ten after saying Kaio-Ken as it would send the chills better, as when Sean Schemmel did it in Super my spine was tingling for an hour. And this one is just a personal opinion/peeve, I feel like even for female Saiyans it should just be called Super Saiyan God, I know that Goddess is the proper term for female deities, but calling the form Super Saiyan Goddess does NOT roll off the tongue at all.

The long await Potara fusion between Kaidon and Natsu, so epic. Except for the name, Drakai? Seriously? I legit can't say that without feeling a block in my speech as if I have a lisp. I'm just gonna call him the name I suggested way back when, that being Kaitsu, it rolls off the tongue much better. Anyway, having Kaitsu's Super Saiyan 4 appearance be altered by the Dragon Force by making the fur turn into scales is just awesome sounding, I want to see that drawn by Cartoon Artworks on DeviantArt and see it come to life. Also, correct me if I'm wrong here, but I'm really not sure if the Fusees can actually share memories, I don't remember anything being said on that.

Lastly, who the hell is this trying to strong-arm Fu? This another OC of yours or some character I don't know about? Eh, either way he's really cocky thinking he could easily take Fu down considering apparently the dude is strong enough to fight against Vegito Blue if the next preview for Super Dragon Ball Heroes has anything to say about it. Also, don't forget, despite his actions, Fu isn't necessarily evil and isn't really affiliated with the Time Breakers given that he actually wants to try and do things for the betterment of people, even though his experiments tend to put others in danger still. Anyway, I knew that in the end Fu was going to absorb the Time Rift of this What-If story, making it that the events didn't happen, but eh, it was still an interesting read for what it is.

Anyway, I'll see you for the next chapter when we get back into the main story again, I just wish this gets update more often as the wait is agonizing sometimes. Keep up the good work and stay safe, bud!
10/1/2020 c40 1Joeclone
Wait so Fu is coming to mess with main Gorun and Genora? Oh heck yes!

This chapter was really cool. I liked Lucy’s moment with Xeno Gorun a lot. Especially right before the big fight with Omega Animus! Xeno Azura kicked Cumber to that curb good and it was glorious to witness. The introduction of Drakai was very awesome and his design for the Super Dragon Slayer 4 was inspiring.

So if Xeno Gorun should return to Earthland, I guess that story would be super different from your original story. I’m not seeing a relationship with Kinana coming from that dimension. Which means Rachel won’t exist either. Man that’s a shame. But I’m sure that there’d be lots of positives too.

Can’t wait for the return to the original version of Gorun!
10/1/2020 c40 1fpinheiro96
Great chapter! Can't wait to see what happens next!
9/2/2020 c39 1Joeclone
Awesome one dude! Xeno Gorun is awesome! A Rosé transformation?! That’s wicked!
9/2/2020 c39 2Cy Man
Mmmm... what to say here, hmm...

There's not really much of note to comment on here besides one thing, which I'll get to later, but some cuts between scenes felt they were needed to shorten some parts a bit forcefully like how Kaidon and Azura realized that Cumber was a diversion and then it instantly cut to the former in chains.

I'd say something regarding Kaidon becoming Super Saiyan Rosè, but I already predicted that way back when when it was revealed on Kaidon's heritage as a quarter Kai and him having natural godly ki, lol.

I still cannot tell whether that move sounds better as either Prominence Flash or Gamma Burst Flash, but I see that their skill with it sucks, unlike Subaru who would have it down fully due to living longer than them, lol xD

Now for the thing of note, the cracked Dragon Balls, oh boy... knowing how these stories turn out, I wouldn't be surprised if they were unleashed and cause headaches for everyone. But, "Dark Shenron collective"? Really dude? That sounds SO lame, lol. xD Why not just call them The Shadow Dragons like they're supposed to be called, which is both cool and menacing.

Anyway, now for another month of waiting, lol. Keep up the good work as always and you, your waifu, and your spawn all stay safe, ya hear?
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