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6/23 c1 19Kazugami Saichi Hakuraichi
I was just started reading it but I don't like the sweet talking of Asami. It was so out of character for Asami. I don't like it. Asami is Asami because he is sadist, cool and bad ass. Not a sweet talker like this. This is just a feedback for you. I can't continue reading it again because I don't like this Asami. I prefer he called Akihito normally.
4/22 c1 Shiranai Atsune
I'm confused... chapter 2? Also, there was another fanfic that was deleted... are these all the same fanfic just diferent chapters? You can compile them all into one instead of uploading a new fanfic, right?
4/20 c1 6IceColdFireLove
Thank you so much that is really helpful Cairlit07 I will keep All that in mind when I write next. I've managed to put chapters together called Content in my alphas arms this fanfic is the second to that. Might sound weird to read this but keep up the criticism and comments they really help. Thank you xx
4/19 c1 Cairlit07
Actually you can just both of the story together..
just cut off some from beginning and you just paste this whole pregnancy moment in the middle then touched up a bit of asami oc character..And make a plot on how the others react toward it..and the asami possesiveness ..

don't take offense ..
too much sweet word sometimes are not good..
but if you like that way..
i will not judge... its your story
anyway ..yeah that's all..i get that you are new...
its okay if you wrong here and there .just keep reading other fanfic of Asami and Akihito ..then you will learn on how to expand more you story..
use the imagination author san..and please remember to keep spelling mistakes to zero okay..?
Editting it 3 or 4 times always helping..
And in my opinion this story is a bit fast but yeah i get it you want to try...next time if you willingly to do another story.. think of plot that makes us cry..like how Akihito react to Asami if he's hurt..or you can create an underground war that almost Akihito die..make it more like a daily life..its more fun to write like that .its like you can imagine how they live their life everyday..date,dinner,kisses and roses, parents meeting, pregnancy,blood and bullet..
Sorry if i'm saying too much..i just got the feeling you can improve to another level..
Fighting author san..its a good thing to hear
you never give up

Tipsto make another story (use your free time to think a crazyly plot) then add up some of your lifestyle ..
make it like a doodle or stupid fun journal of
Asami and Akihito stories .

Bye author san
4/15 c1 rosellerearl1991
please add more chapters
4/13 c1 finderlov
I hope there more and keep it up

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