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for Tales from the S'yrthghar VIII: Metamorphosis

12/5/2019 c1 6Lowknave
In my present life struggles, I find myself increasingly demotivated in most aspects. With myself becoming increasingly burned out in writing, stressed from real life affairs, and devoid of any really confidence to carry out things. It is forcing me to begin looking into other subjects to help break this curse in one way or another.

This pursuit to remedy my situation has come full circle, with me returning to read rather than write. And, naturally, I could think of no better stories to read than yours. However, in doing this I've discovered that there's still quite a bit of stories I've missed reviewing as well. As such, I intend to remedy that starting now and with this story, and work my way around to other stories. I'm fully aware of your present situation and understand that these reviews are more symbolic than anything. But, given how much work you've put in it, it's only right I put in the same amount of effort you put into these stories.

So without further ado (already using up quite a bit of the character limit), let me get started.

You have an amazing and versatile amount of OC characters created throughout your writing career. Each one's origins and establishing characteristics different and all the more interesting to a reader like me. The one downside I'll confess is that in the short-story setting character-building is nigh near impossible, and to see the characters change and react to differing situations is often just as interesting as the plot itself. This story in particular finds itself in a unique position where the character development can be clearly identified and observed, but, the pacing does regrettably rush it (as the previous reviewers pointed out).

A perfect remedy is if this short-story had its events spaced along over the course of several chapters. Perhaps demonstrating the more refined and elaborated aspects of Faith's life post-incident, how her life was impacted, how owls around her (non-friends) treat her, and eventually how Ezio enters her life. The last aspect especially would be interesting, even more if the plot has more events for both characters to tackle and react to.

But, given your understandable time situation, such ideal narrative decisions have to be omitted. However, in now way does that bring the quality of the overall story to an unacceptable level. For a simple romance with OCs we've never heard of (barring Gwynneth), you really can't get much better than this, and as a reader, I still appreciate the story you've graciously shared with us. My prior critiques should be an obvious testament to that, not nit-picking because I dislike the idea, rather, I just long to see more of these particulars characters and seeing how their story unfolds.

I could go into detail bout the particular aspects of the story I particularly enjoyed. From the interactions between the romantic duo, to Gwynneth's rather unique prosthetic designs (and no, I won't be "that guy" this time around that questions if it is possible to fly with such a wing. As I very much like the concept and would rather it not be challenged). But I think it would be simpler for me to just sum everything by saying that I quite simply enjoyed it!

So yes, if you need a TL;DR: the story itself and the content within it is wholesome, downside is that this story (as with anything else) could've had a bit more elaboration and content to flesh everything out perfectly. So great job!

Story gets a 20/10 for all Tyto cast. This is what the ideal owl world looks like! (If you want a real value, more like . . . 8.5/10. Minus one point for the pacing issues and another half point for kind of an overly simplistic plot that could use more conflict expansion in regards to Faith's struggles).

An addendum before I switch off to the "not-so-serious" part of my review. I noticed that this story lacked the "Completed" trait like the others. Was that implying you had plans for multiple chapters? If so, that makes the fate of this story all the more tragic, as your own situation means you'll never have time to work on it. If it counts for anything, even with what I had stated, if you had plans for this story I'd much rather see what you had in mind initially than any revisions. But that's probably being too hopeful.

Alright, to jokes!

This story is literally just a copy-n-paste of the final moments of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. In particular, Anakin/Darth Vader losing his limbs and being burned alive on the volcano world of Mustafar. LITERALLY PLAGIARISM 0/10!

(I maintain that it wasn't wind that sent her into the spin, rather, Obi-Wan getting jealous of Faith's high ground and Force-pushing her close to the magma.)

I'm surprised there was no banter between any of the characters. How else are you going to slide in the joke that someone burned Faith as badly as the magma from Morgan?

Faith Solo Wing Pixy.
Faith, losses wing, still lives. Solo Wing Pixy, losses wing as well, lands plane.
Morgan is the volcano Faith losses her wing at. Solo Wing Pixy flies a plane with the destination Morgan.

. . . I'll be keeping an eye on her.

(In all seriousness, I'll stop here. Good story all in all!)
4/15/2018 c1 17LemonDrops334
I'll have to agree with the previous viewer. A very cute story, but the relationship wasn't really developed
4/15/2018 c1 3JasmineFern32
This is such a cute story! Perfect for someone like me who wants to excape from the harsh reality once in a while. But the story would have been if you take more time to develoe the relationship. Favourited!

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